i’m a bad mommy.

ever since December dawned three days ago, i’ve been secretly suffering from seasonal denial. while i haven’t quite gone so far as to try to stop Christmas from coming, i have been hoping it will just quietly go away…and perhaps come again another year, when i’m more ready? more festive?

if i had a chimney to stuff the Christmas tree up, oh, i’d have told that tree to stuff itself.

i don’t think this Christmas curmudgeon-ness is because my heart is two sizes too small, though. i’m just too busy and too worn out and have too much stuff clamouring to be done to want to make time for all the extra to-dos that Christmas entails. shopping. wrapping. dragging the tree out of the attic. sweeping up all the insulation that will get dragged out with it. un-knotting all the lights. stringing the damn things. finding the extension cords. taking O to visit Santa. eating all those boxes of “Pot of Gold” chocolates. hard work, all of it.

but it’s good for me, i think…Pot of Gold aside.

because in stringing those lights with Dave, in taking Oscar to see Santa at the mall, even getting carols stuck in my head…i’m hoping i’ll find a little of my inner Cindy Lou Who. maybe a little of that ephemeral Christmas magic will sink in, and my little Grinch heart will grow three sizes, and i’ll be possessed with the power not only to sweep and shop and bake fruitcakes, but to do it all with a little cheer. maybe?

to try to get things started, we took our holiday family photo this afternoon, after propping the tree in a corner and tossing some lights on one side of it. it’s our very first holiday family photo, ever. some families go to Sears for these auspicious occasions. we barely look like we made it out of bed – and Oscar looks rather like a small escapee from Alcatraz in his Christmas stripes – but it’s a start, nonetheless. :) and it was kinda fun.

so…which of these wonders would you send out to your near and dear ones? elves are waiting to send the family portrait of your choice across the ether…vote early, vote often.

the loony happy family

the loony scary family (with cat and offspring trying to escape)

and god bless us, every one

fa la la la la, blah blah blah blah.

happy December, everybody.