Sun 10 Jun 2007
build a ladder to the stars
Posted by bon under issue stuff
the Just Posts rolling around on the calendar always gets me thinking about what really matters to me. what i consider social justice to mean, and to require of me. what i consider a life well-lived to be. what i want O to learn, from me, about what it means to be human.
all these answers change and shift, from month to month…my mind is not organized along doctrinal lines, on most of this. i think our society’s problems are systemic, yes. i think we are made more human when we find ways to connect with others, yes. but this is messy stuff, and every time i delve into it, i come up with another part of the elephant in my hands. except for one little bit.
i know exactly what i hope for Oscar. i have, tucked away in that part of my brain that knows the lyrics to everything if the tune to almost zilch, my own personal holy scripture on this one. i know what i wish for the young.
it came to me one summer morning almost exactly seven years ago, packaged up nicely in a folky melody with harmonicas, to boot. i was still in my twenties, plunking away on my M.A. thesis in a little attic den with CBC playing on a tinny radio, when a song came on and had me from the first word.
and i was riveted, transported backward and forward in time. what they were playing was Bob Dylan’s version of “Forever Young” - not to be confused with the Alphaville song of the same name nor with anything by Rod Stewart, thank you. it is a simple song, for a Dylan song, a benediction written for his children. it is the song Howard Cosell recited, in honour and tribute, over the last rounds of Muhammad Ali’s comeback fight in the final days of the fighter’s heyday. it rings for me with all the political and cultural and systemic upheaval of the culture and era i was born into, and with the legends of Dylan and Ali when they were icons of youth and promise and change. it rings for me with all the idealism and anger of the sixties, and it rings for me with hope. with the fresh start of youth. with the goodness and possibility i see in kids, every day…that fragile thing that so few of us are able to keep nearly long enough.
i’d heard the song before that morning, but not for years and years…it evoked for me the comforting familiarity of childhood, and the remembered scratch of my mother’s Joan Baez records. but it also evoked, in me, for the first time, a deep, primal urge to have a child. to be a mother. to shape a life. to take on the risk and staggering responsibility of actually raising a human being. that draw…to do well by the hostage to fortune i’ve been blessed with…is still the most compelling thing i know.
i like to think, sometimes, that we’ll be able to raise O to be better than we are. more giving. less grasping. more able to approach difference with grace and empathy and interest, rather than discomfort and shuffling. more likely to take action, to believe he can make some kind of difference. i don’t believe in the modernist notion of progress, true, and i am weary, already, with the cynicism of my post-boomer generation that has watched Dylan and Ali grow old and mortal in the harsh public eye. but i still have hope. i believe hope gets reborn with every new generation.
this is what i hope, for Oscar…for all children.
May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.
- Bob Dylan, copyright 1973
i know not all these things will happen for O. i know not all of them should...his wishes to eat more and more and more cheese, for instance, might have an unfortunate effect on his digestive tract. but he will have the chance at more of these things than most. and when the day comes - and i hope it does, in the sense that i hope to see his adulthood and his flowering - that he leaves his youth behind and grows into a man, i hope that he can carry into the world a little of the beauty and the promise that is in him now. that he can keep believing that he is worthy of the words of the song.
no matter what.
if he can, i will know i’ve done well by him.
…but oh, i am so lucky to have that chance. for me, a just world might start with all little children having the luxury of believing these words were written for them. for that to happen, though, more parents than i can get my mind around would need believe it about themselves first. that they are worthy. that there is help, and support out there. that people give a shit. that the world is not just a spin cycle of pain and damage that has hurt them, and will hurt their kids in turn. to Thordora, who wrote a raw, fierce post a couple of weeks ago about the turning away that meets mental illness and poverty so often in our culture, i offer up a Just Post nod and my thanks, for continuing to add to my internal catalogue of what i believe social justice requires of me. to notice. to try. to be courageous, and stand upright, and not hide from suffering even when i don’t know how to fix it.
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with Jen & Mad at the helm, the Just Posts have raised over $1300 for Open Arms and the Stephen Lewis Foundation this month. so many little children who need a chance. please keep giving, where you can.













June 11th, 2007 at 12:23 am
oh, Bon.
You had me the whole time, but then you wrote this: to notice. to try. to be courageous, and stand upright, and not hide from suffering even when i don’t know how to fix it.
and all i can think is YES. YES, YES, YES. let’s do this thing. let’s try and get it right. for as many kids as we can.
June 11th, 2007 at 12:27 am
awwww. I’s is blushing.
I just wish I knew WHAT to do. I have the will, just not the skill.
June 11th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Following jen’s train of thought: “to notice.” That’s what stuck out for me, too.
I do believe that noticing social injustice is at least half the battle.
So many people don’t notice even what’s in front of their faces.
So why on earth would they notice what’s happening on either side of them, behind them, halfway around the world from them?
I think if we can figure out how to get people to notice, the rest won’t be so tough.
Lovely post.
June 11th, 2007 at 12:39 am
I love that song. Always have.
And what a wonderful way to usher in the May Just Posts.
June 11th, 2007 at 1:36 am
That song is pretty special to me, too.
June 11th, 2007 at 1:53 am
Bon, this was so right. That’s all I can say, so right. I so want Mme L to be a better person than I. I want her to come in and throw my jadedness, my middle-class lifestyle, my consumption in my face. She may think that she’s hurting me, but I will be so proud. I hope.
I have never heard that song of Bob’s (and I’m a fan, so that strikes me as odd), but it made me think of one of my favourite lyrics of his, “Ah, but I was so much older then. I’m younger than that, now.”
June 11th, 2007 at 2:25 am
I love this song, Bon. Still wishing that ability to notice on myself. As for Miss M, I want it all so much but am terrified at my ability to navigate the path to help her there.
June 11th, 2007 at 2:29 am
What a wonderful song to incorporate.
I’m having a WORST Father of sorts….come check it out….even if your dad is Father of the Year!
http://www.fenicle.com
June 11th, 2007 at 7:19 am
The noticing is the hard part to me, because it means noticing oneself too. I see too many people talk about social justice, talk about pain in the world and with their next breath mock someone, or say something cruel about a neighbour or a collegue or a stranger. And then I watch as their kids model their parents behaviours and learn that kindness and sympathy, mecry perhaps, are for people a world away but scorn and ridicule are for the people next door, be they the poor on their street or the person their family don’t like to talk to, but love to talk about.
June 11th, 2007 at 7:20 am
But, seperate thought, it’s always worth the trying, and the bold and the strong who can turn that other cheek back around to see their neighbour and show their kids love and respect for everyone make the world a better home for us all.
June 11th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Beautiful post. Thank you. I still have hope, too, that grows stronger when I read a post like this one.
June 11th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
So well said Bon. I envy your talent with words. You have a way of reaching into my brain and articulating what I wish I could say, yet have not.
Thank you. Once again. And good choice. I loved Theodora’s post.
June 11th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Funny you should pick this. I recently heard someone read the lyrics to this song at his son’s bar mitzvah, saying, like you, that they summed up what he wanted for his child.
And the soundtrack to my childhood also includes my mother’s Joan Baez records (records? the word seems to come from some faraway time and place).
June 12th, 2007 at 3:54 am
love this post my father in law is the biggest bob fan i know and this is one of those songs that i just love to hear again and again.
June 12th, 2007 at 8:06 am
I love that song, bon. I don’t know if they ended up playing it, but mum choose it to be played at Thomas’ baptism. A wonderful choice, and it will be used for ours, when that day comes.
June 12th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Amen. You brought tears to my eyes.
June 13th, 2007 at 12:56 am
This post has me weeping, seriously…you are such a beautiful writer. Your words are so easy to read and they touch my heart in such simple yet profound ways.
Thank you.
June 13th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Very well said–this went straight to my heart.
June 14th, 2007 at 4:15 am
And let others do for you.
A couple of years ago our then chief rabbi gave a High Holidays sermon on essentially this point. It was a great sermon, and it was truly enlightening to me, for I was the kind of person who would rather not bother others or let them see me vulnerable. I think that sermon has a place in the history of why and how I came to be able to accept help, and even ask for it when A died and I needed all the help I could get.