i’m not very good with being told what to do. the infinitive imperious tense (okay, i made that up…it is my secret shame that i’m an English teacher with no clue about formal grammatical terms) does not bring out my innate graciousness. rather, my back goes up, my head tilts, my left eyebrow arches, and my mule-like hooves dig into whatever ground is beneath me with a tenacity generally seen only in the barnacle species. it is a charming quality, i’m told, this blind resistance to commands. just ask my mother. our communications during my teen years resembled those between two immovable and opposed objects, one sitting atop the other. i kept a journal during these years…ornery times, reflected in angsty melodrama. shudder.

but i am also, contrarily, a pleaser. so long as a request or direction comes with some semblance of conviviality, of reciprocity, or of appeal to my inflated sense of individuality and uniqueness, dude, i’m there. i hate to let people down. i will walk miles to help someone out, or to do my duty by the social contract, so long as i get to operate under the premise - however illusory - that i’m acting freely and creatively, rather than merely going through arbitrary motions demanded by self-proclaimed powers-that-be.

since i also balk at binaries and couldn’t have a mere two facets to my neuroses special, complex soul, i must add that i’m a perfectionist with mild OCD issues surrounding tasks, so if a “thing to do” sneaks past the initial bulwark of “fuck right off, i’m not doing that, you’re not the boss of me”…i can’t rest easy until it’s done.

thus, friends, when Bub&Pie and the other fine Bon of the blogosphere, Bon777, tagged me for that meme going around that lists its autocratic little rules like an edict from on high, with no mask of mitigating adjectives or appeals…

“A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.

B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.

C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.”

…i went through a Jekyll&Hyde&Somebody-Else-Yet-Again chain of huffing and puffing and blowing my own house down. stupid meme, telling me what to do and exactly how to do it! doesn’t it know that i am a Person With Free Will?!? humppph. but i like Bub&Pie and Bon, oh yes i do, and they asked nicely, and perhaps the whole sky will fall and they will think i’m a skanky rude fickle blogfriend if i just ignore the bossy meme, and that would suck…and Bon’s just getting started interacting out here and i remember how sad i was when the first people i tagged for things didn’t play, and besides, now that i’ve even thought about doing it i’d really just like to have it over and done with and then i will feel such a nice sense of accomplishment that i’ll be able to walk around the rest of the day looking like Grover the Muppet.

so i did it. but my own way. did you see this coming….? it’s already done. i hid all my answers in my apparent preamble! take that, meme! i showed you! i didn’t follow your rules to the letter! i did something better! i changed it up! i did it my way! ha!

and somewhere in the middle i lost track of how many items of fabulous interest i actually included!

um, yeh. bonus points to those who can give me a tally. just to be more contrary, i shall encourage you to tag yourselves, or rather “steal this meme” as Chani puts if, but only if you, like, want. if it suits your own excellent specialness.

the ultimate thing you need to know about me, people? i am eternally and forever stuck in my terrible twos.  can’t wait ’til O hits his next birthday and we can tantrum in tandem. :)