Fri 27 Jul 2007
open letter to the nice people NOT at BlogHer
Posted by bon under stuff stuff, stuff to be done
so, i live in a bubble. an occasionally glamourous bubble, filled with plague and exciting hospital visits, true, but a bubble nonetheless.
i didn’t even know BlogHer existed until people started announcing they were going last March.
in my naivete, upon discovering this fascinating tidbit, i turned to my fellow bubble-dweller, and squeed, “there’s a conference! a blog conference! for hers who blog!”
and my beloved said, “yeh. BlogHer. you going?”
i felt quite exposed for a few, brief seconds…horribly exposed and unwanted and hapless, like a flashback to that moment in junior high when you realize that not only is there a party you haven’t been informed of or invited to, but even your mom has been in on keeping it from you. i shrank. Dave knew about BlogHer. was he going, for pete’s sake? was i really the last person alive who didn’t know it existed?
turns out Mr. “I Livez on teh Internets” just has his finger on some weird pulses. and in one of those odd glitches that occasionally occur in our house where two very close people have busy and extremely interconnected lives, he’d just assumed i knew. (that or he was testing me to see if i track his online activity like a wife bloodhood…but…he knows how lazy i am, so i doubt it.)
so i got all squee-ish again (despite the usual self-doubt that comes with any consideration of actually stepping outside the safe confines of my bubble, but that’s a whole other narrative) and i leapt on the computer and googled BlogHer. and gazed upon the conference date.
and my bubble burst. or at least my delusion of venturing outside it did. because the fine people at BlogHer - for some inscrutable reason which i cannot fathom - scheduled the damn conference for the last weekend in July.
clearly, no one consulted my social calendar. which is reasonable, i suppose, given that it’s usually stark empty…and no one at BlogHer would know me if they tripped on me. but people, i live in what is politely termed a “vacation destination.” a tourist trap. a mecca for summer holidayers. barely anyone i know actually stays here year round…they’ve all fled for places with, like, work and stuff. but they all come home to visit, every last one of them, these near and dear family and friends who connect me to places on the map i once went and now like to imagine from the pleasant vistas of bubble-hood. they all come home, invariably, during the last week of freaking July.
so, while i probably would have had serious trouble justifying the cost of the conference and the trip to myself, especially when i wasn’t earning any money, and i would be genuinely intimidated by meeting half the blogosphere face to face, however big i talk, the absolute, unavoidable reason i’m not in Chicago this weekend is that my great aunties arrived last night, and my childhood best friend the night before, and two of my dearest peeps from university are staying here tomorrow night, and then Sunday there’s a party for a friend who lives the rest of the year in Kuwait…and i’m not even sure when i’m going to hang with the lovely folks who’ve descended from London and Korea and Vancouver.
because by about the 9th of August, i shit you not, because that’s the official start of winter here in Canada, they’ll all have fled again for another year. and i love them all (well, all the ones i’m actually trying to squeeze into my house and/or schedule) and it fills me up for all the dry months, this having company, this visiting with friends.
of course, that’s kinda what blogging does for me too. so BlogHer, how about a November conference next year? nobody visits then, i can promise ya.
and you…you there reading, presumably NOT from a swank hotel in the Windy City. you there, not sharing mojitos with fellow blogistas? what’s your reason? tell me your story.
i really want to know. i got to have something to entertain Great Aunt Myrtle with. ![]()













July 27th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Heh. I am staying home so that my family and I can go…are you ready?…camping.
And so it goes.
July 27th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I’m not going because I GAVE BIRTH and I’m scared of flying with a newborn and I have no money…
Next year, though, I’m SO THERE. I expect to see you there.
July 27th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Well, there’s Pie’s birthday, of course.
And then there’s the unimaginable problem of how to go about finding a roomie. How does that even work? Do you just approach people randomly, only to be told that they already HAVE roomies? It’s just like prom all over again.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
November? That’s well into the “official Holiday season” in the US. Travel prices are astronomical, people have parties every week for at least 8 weeks. Or so I’ve heard. I can never get a babysitter.
Your connection with your visitors is deep-rooted. It may lack the frisson of BlogHer, but also the thorniness.
I bet a few (more than just a few) bloggers in a certain swanky hotel might read this and wish to be with their dearest peeps instead of bracing themselves and steadying their smiles.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
There’s a conference? For bloggers? And people actually go to it? Shelling out their own money?
I’m confused. I mean, I love you all very very much, but I am so not seeing the point.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Can’t afford it. That and the whole ‘way too fucking nervous’ thing.
I’m toying with the idea of next year. I found someone who will hold my hand and wipe my ass when I shit my pants out of nervousness. The funds though, the funds. I seriously doubt I’d be able to foot the bill.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Money, vacation time, keeping my cloak of mystery….I’ll let you decide which one of those is bullcrap
July 27th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
That’s easy: too broke.
Especially really too broke after the poor poor tree fell last night.
Once I saw all the trouble and expense people were going to on top of the travel, room, board and conference expense, it’s probably a really good thing I’m staying put.
Seriously. Color coordinated manicures and pedicures would not have occurred to me. Nor would fun promotion giveaways.
July 27th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Money mainly. I worked out the flight, hotel and conference cost and it came in at just over 1600 bucks. Hubby and I could have a pretty nice long weekend in Vegas for that kind of scratch. Also I’m near Vancouver, so the flight itself would have taken about 7 light years…and I hate flying. I’m holding out and hoping they bring it to Seattle next year. Then I’ll drive there.
So, if one year all of us Canadian girls get there (mamatulip, you, me, some other BC bloggers I know), does that mean we all have to have matching mani’s and pedi’s? Like red and white with maple leafs or what?
July 27th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Part of it is because I didn’t realize it was going to be such a Big Deal. I didn’t know the vast majority of the blogging world was going to be there. If I did, I might have made more of an effort back when I heard about it in March.
Mostly, though, I think people would go “Nomothearth who-? Yeah, never heard of you.” That would be devastating to my alreay fragile ego.
July 27th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Too many small children at home and another on the way making me feel like running to the bathroom every five minutes. Morning sickness and trying to look cool at a blogging conference don’t really mix.
I love the idea of BlogHer but it sounds alot more fun where you are.
July 27th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Everyone come to MY house. Bring booze. We’ll have our own conference.
And I pretty much don’t travel. Also, I feel to obscure to go. So why worry about it? But y’all are invited to my place. As I said, bring booze.
July 27th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
The 9th of August? Whew. Where I live, it’s winter only for about three weeks. And that can suck too. From one extreme to another….
I’m not going to BlogHer, and I have a button that says so for your site if you want to snag it. Also, I’ve been chatting with other non-BlogHers today, if you want to come….
July 27th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
It’s a multiple choice:
A) I couldn’t bear having Jen realize that I’m not hot.
B) I priced out airfares and flight alone would’ve been in the neighbourhood of $1,500. Add accommodation, registration, and expenses. I do not have that kind of cash.
C) MadDad has a play opening on Sunday. There is no way I would be allowed to leave town this particular reason unless I sold Miss M on the black market first.
D) I couldn’t leave the local CBC newscast behind even for a couple of days. How else would I have learned about the PEI senior who left home for several months only to return to a loaf of white bread that hadn’t gone mouldy or stale?
E) all of the above
July 27th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
heh heh … well you know i am heading to the sunshine coast and vancouver island for a little thing we like to call vacation and um chicago was way too expensive but i’m hoping they choose Portland or Seattle for next year because if they do ~ I am sooooo there
Actually, I would like to go next year if at all possible … i never get to go to the cool parties …
July 27th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Hmm. I’m home because I never go anywhere, I hate talking to strangers, I have a 3yo, I have to go visit my sick mother, I have a job…is that enough?
July 27th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
you guys make me laugh.
De…the American holiday season never occurred to me. damn. all we have in November is Remembrance Day. us self-absorbed Canadians, forgetting the rest of the world has other cultures and traditions…
B&P…i, um…(stubs toe into carpet and looks at wall) don’t, like…have a…like…roommate for next year if i go if you wanted to go but not that you’d necessarily wanna room with me anyway or anything but i think it’d be fun and i don’t snore and you don’t have to dance with me…erm…wanna?
Julie, you make a good point. i think perhaps next year - if it’s somewhere that wouldn’t cost Mad & i $1500 just to fly there, ’cause that ain’t happening for me - it would be nice to have a ‘frugal contingent’ representing. BYOB in my and Bub & Pie’s room! lol.
Beck, i’d love to come to your house. but i have all these houseguests…see…and if you think you’re too obscure to go then i’m the heighth of hubris just posting this.
Flutter…my cloak of mystery never occurred to me. um, how do i get me one o’ them?
and yeh, Mad, stop telling people about the scary bread in PEI, okay? they’ll be too afraid to come to our BlogHer East festival!
July 28th, 2007 at 12:23 am
My story isn’t really a story. I started blogging not even 2 months ago, and I just heard of blogger a couple weeks ago. It didn’t even occur to me that I would feel left out. And I don’t, for the most part, but there are occasionan twinges of girl time missed out on, possible friendships waylaid. but that’s okay, if I am still blog enchanted next year I may check it out. For the life of me I have no idea what these people are doing at the conference so I am eagerly awaiting the blogher updates next week.
July 28th, 2007 at 2:21 am
My answer is most like nomo’s with that whole money and vacation time problem thrown in for good measure.
July 28th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
My reasons?
a) Money
b) Money
c) Money
Sigh.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Less than zero interest keeps my butt firmly planted in my house. Sounds like high school with double the estrogen. (Sorry-large groups of women make me nervous and squicky, mostly cause I’m not very womanly.)
AND I have a pool and beer a block away, and why the HELL would I leave that?!?!?
July 28th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
It’s not my year for conferences. Next weekend there is another conference, in the very same city. Second ever. I went to the first one ever, last year. Loved it. Made very cool friends. Can’t go this year– will fall apart.
So yeah, I am home.
July 28th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Well, I am sitting in a ballroom listening to the wife of a presidential candidate and reading your blog. Feel missed? I hope so. (((you))) Wish you were here.
J
July 29th, 2007 at 3:38 am
It would be so fun to go to a conference and meet people. Except I’d have to, you know, meet people.
Think I’ll stay home.
July 29th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
I live in your bubble world too. Plus we had my son’s 5th birthday party Friday night at our local baseball park game. So….
Oh and that I have no money and just got into this bloggin’ world. My husband might have laughed a little too hard had I mentioned goin!!!!
Maybe next year?????
July 29th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Dudes, what is up with the bread on PEI?
Link? Elaborate? WTF?
July 29th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Oh, I thought it was a conference in Second Life or something. Didn’t realize it was real!
But since I am skipping out on conferences I should attend for professional life this weekend, a fun one seems totally out of the question.
July 29th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Too broke this year, but I am SO there next year!
July 30th, 2007 at 3:15 am
by the time i found out what it was it was way to late to sign up. and my blog was 9is) so knew i didn’t feel “ready” if that makes sense.
oh and the complete lack of funds for ANY of the expenses was a little part of it.
July 30th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
I didn’t go because….
1. I felt so awkward about it. What the hell would I do, all lonesome by myself, staring at everyone else who knows each other?
2. Money. And the lack of it. A trip like this would have been a luxury. And given the fact that we’re buying a dog and sending my parents to Europe, this luxury had to be shelved.
3. Like you, this is just a bad time of the year for me. In my case, too many birthdays, including my own. I couldn’t see myself alone in Chicago for my big day instead of with the family, you know?
July 30th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
You were missed.
It was fun. The best part was meeting all these women you feel you know already. There was a bit of that akward shy girl on the sidelines thing, but then I got over myself & just rudely inserted myself wherever I went.
And if B&P falls through, I’d totally room with you.
July 30th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
I was not there either almost for the same reason. No one bothered to check with me. I happen to have my best friend flying over from England. BlogHer can wait another year. Maybe we’ll meet then, if they would just check with us first!
July 30th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
LawyerMama, you can totally be my backup date. errm, roomie. seeing as B&P is, like, totally not expressing any interest…sniff.
oh well. glad you had fun. really.
and Momish, yes, i think we perhaps need to send our itineraries to the planners so they can accommodate us more effectively next year.
happy late birthday, Tere!
July 31st, 2007 at 2:10 am
bon! thank you for posting that you’re scared. I just got back and posted about actually being scared while there, and I feel like a big dork. d. o. r. k.
phew. that felt good.
July 31st, 2007 at 4:14 am
Enjoy your friends, Bon :). I know few people in the Blogosphere, so it’s not my thing. But it’s a cool concept. And I might’ve just driven down to Chi-town if you’d been there, to meet you in the live — take care!
July 31st, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Hey Bon. If I am still blogging in a year, maybe I will be desperate to go to the conference! I’m certainly desperate to get away and be a grownup. But I’m blogging now, which is a start. fundynutter@blogspot.com. If you want to blog-roll me, I wouldn’t complain.
July 31st, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Erm…. I think I can I can type in a straight line and keep a blog. If I can, you might be able to find it at fundynutter.blogspot.com
That feels better,
Traci
August 1st, 2007 at 12:32 am
Coming to visit…
1. Busy with new/old house. Leaky shit to repair and such.
2. Children who get hysterical when I go to the drugstore by myself, much less Chicago for a few days.
3. Oh yeah, even though I’m thrilled to finally have a yard with trees, unfortunately no money grew upon them and rained down on me so that I could purchase airfare and hotel room.
But I’m working on the cash and courage to go next year. I did a Philly blogger get-together, and I was ridiculously nervous, but it went swimmingly and lovely and all the women were awesome.
August 1st, 2007 at 12:43 am
Thanks for stopping by my blog, much appreciated. Good to find some Maritimers here…
BlogHer - um, cutesy name, yes? And now that I’m reading some of the updates it sounds like something I wouldn’t have enjoyed - free booze notwithstanding.
I blog (honestly!) because I need the creative outlet. And to have a record of my son’s early years. I just don’t know that I’d have gotten anything out of a conference…
Unless someone needs a roommate.
August 1st, 2007 at 4:18 am
I would love to meet you, at the next possible bloggy get-together!
August 1st, 2007 at 6:01 pm
‘Kay, late to the party, but I wanted to say (a) I was a member of the frugal contingent: making good on the student fee and driving and staying with mimi’s friend and allowing myself to be dragged away by mimi at the not-so-wee hours of the morning and (b) your proposal to bubandpie sounded exactly like me asking Joe out for the first time (”listen, I know you’re not interested, but I am, and so I have to get it off my chest so that we can hang out and just be friends”). Brilliant.
August 3rd, 2007 at 5:52 pm
all leading it up to the conference I was living at a girls boarding school that blocked the BlogHer site - because we have to protect young girls from blogging, I suppose - and so all I could do was easedrop about BlogHer, kind of like being on the other side of a door, ya know. And then also, we just moved - quit that job with the horrid firewall - and so we are flat broke…
August 3rd, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Glad to see there were/are other bloggers who simply had no interest in going. Not my cup of tea.