Fri 10 Aug 2007
summer and my discontent
Posted by bon under pondering stuff
ah, summer. sweet, humid, vapid summer…season of sunny delight. if all our cultural, seasonal stereotypes marched off to high school together, summer’d get to be head cheerleader.
except this summer has been kicking my ass like some kind of sadistic personal trainer, instead. without me even getting a single toned ab in the process.
our household is emerging from an entire month of miserableness and poxplagues and coughing the night away. i’m working the full forty-plus hours a week for the first time since oh, about 1998, and full-blast, since the project i manage was three months late getting funded and still needs to be ready to launch in schools come September…plus there’s this impish wee boy who comes home every evening and has learned something new and i’m smitten and need some full-blast left to go to the park after supper and make sure he doesn’t actually eat those whiteboard markers he so enjoys extricating from my bag. and everyone i know, plus their dog, has come to visit over the past three weeks.
what i’ve seen of summer basically amounts to a few evening promenades, about three mosquito bites, and an attempted trip to the beach that resulted in me trying to Febreze the scent of Oscar’s vomit out of the back of the car. the rest? has been spent frantically juggling.
i don’t know how to stretch myself a whole lot further. i am a haggard poster child for “needs a summer vacation.”
but if i had five or ten straight days off, to bask in sunbeams and drink mojitos, what would i likely do? (other than get my child to the beach with a sandpail and Gravol, of course). i’d spend it on the internet, catching up on all the conversations and life changes i’ve missed while summer’s been holding me captive from my online community.
yep. if i could save time in a bottle, dear internets, i’d huddle inside with my laptop and spend it with you.
now, culturally, that desire represents a heinous abomination.
because summer is the time to unplug. in pop culture, summer seems to signify some glorious release space from the grind of everyday life…it’s carefree time, outdoor time, relaxing time, all set to some Beach Boys song or the soundtrack from Grease. and it’s eternally sunny, but without humidity or skin cancer. this version of summer doesn’t have rain. it’s a simulacra, a copy of a cultural childhood memory that never really existed in the first place except in pastiche, all the best pieces from a hundred zillion sources, distilled…but that only makes it more powerful. i may never, ever, in my life have spent a summer wiping the sand from my browning shoulders at a cottage by a lake…but i still hearken to the siren song of that image. and i can still smell the suntan lotion on my imaginary skin and covet the freedom to do that much nothing with my day.
and yet…and yet…the idea of going unplugged for a week makes me shudder.
because much as i wouldn’t mind pulling the plug on the work email for awhile, and could live happily without deadlines, no number of umbrella drinks by a pool or glassy waterskiing surfaces can replace the play i get to revel in out here in the blogosphere, websurfing. this girl, in reality, can only handle so much sand in the crack of her bathing suit, and nothing bores me faster than lying in the sun wondering if my pasty flesh shouldn’t get covered, already.
the cultural fantasy of summer is built on the premise that trading routine for some version of sun-drenched reclining and pampering is the ultimate in relaxation. if that vision did once reflect the dream of us teeming masses, it may need some reinvention, and soon.
because my new Summer 2.0 fantasy model involves a cottage with wireless. while i’d love to be freed from the regular grind of work and laundry and traffic so i could check out shells on a beach with Oscar for a week, and watch the stars come out and build bonfires and practice my breaststroke, part of what it means to me to ‘relax’, now, is to commune with you all. to enter this virtual room of my own, and track an infinite number of stories. if i had infinite time to comment and engage and pontificate and giggle, too…whilst reclining in a hammock with an icy pina colada? i might think i’d died and gone to heaven.
but Oscar? yeh. um. see, i want him to come to this fantasy cottage without too many electronic games or DVDs or whatever plugged-in gadgets and necessities his older self might deem necessary in this fantasy world of summers-t0-come-where-i-actually-get-a-vacation. yeh. double standard. but there’s a whole world of nature out there to discover, you know?!? sigh.
what does “unplugged” mean to you? is it an unnatural state only tolerated due to the power outages following summer lightning storms? or would you retreat to a cabin by the sea for months at a time if you could, and eschew electricity for the beauties of nature alone? do you think there’s a sea change coming in what it means, culturally, to relax? does ‘getting away from it all’, for you, involve getting away from teh internets too?
what’s the longest you’ve ‘unplugged’ for over the past couple of years?
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this is cross-posted at BlogRhet, where we could use some nice bland innocuous commentary at the moment. :) bring yours on over there, if you will.













August 10th, 2007 at 1:56 am
I’ll respond over there, but first one question over here:
What on earth is Gravol?
August 10th, 2007 at 2:06 am
Same question.
And I’m sorry you’ve not gotten any toned abs from getting your ass kicked. That seems kinda unfair!
August 10th, 2007 at 3:04 am
Uh, a week? Tops. And I went through some serious withdrawal.
But if I could find a lovely cottage somwhere near a lake I might consider unplugging again.
August 10th, 2007 at 3:08 am
i’ve unplugged earlier this year in el salvador, although i did manage to post a couple of times - but it was brief and free and fun.
and i need that again right now quite a bit, and the knowledge it’s a long time coming is hard to swallow…even with a mojito.
August 10th, 2007 at 3:13 am
first, what planet are folk from that they know not the wonders of gravol? have we stumbled upon an American shortfall?
second, what on earth do you mean by UNPLUGGED? What blasphemy is this?
unplugged… gawd. My husband doesn’t relate to this whole thing, thinks it only marginally more justifiable than oh, I don’t know… crocheting one’s ass to the couch on a daily basis.
So I’m left lying like a gambling addict. “Kaaate,” he says sternly, “You’re WORKING, riiiight?”
“uhhh…” I say caught red-handed in a deeply moving three-way love-in with bon and thordora, “Yes…?”
sigh. why did I not marry a webby geek instead, instead of someone who presses me to JOG? cripes.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:34 am
my dear friends, Kate and i are horrified that you do not have access to Gravol, wonder drug.
it prevents motion sickness, thus - if i were to give it to O - preventing the “puke all over back of car” scenario we enjoyed so much last time we went to the beach.
it also has a potent drowsiness quotient…
August 10th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Gravol in the US is sold as Dramamine. So they do have it, but it’s hard to spell.
I almost never plug in at home. Generally my blogging is done on my lunch break at work. The longest I was offline completely was about a week - I’d just moved, my internet service at home wasn’t working, and I’d taken a few days off to paint & unpack.
I love this post - because I’ve been saying the same thing about the cultural expectation of summer vs. the reality, but not nearly as eloquently.
August 10th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Personally, I think summer is overrated. Its just too damn hot. I can’t even take my baby to the park.
I am never unplugged, because I am always home.
August 10th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Sweet merciful God, no Gravol?
I’m not a bit summer fan and this one is kind of sucking, really - it’s been too hot, so the kids have been miserabley marooned inside most days, which is no fun. I like spring a lot but autumn is WAY too poignant, since winter follows closely behind.
August 10th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
I read and I feel for you, but the one thing that really stands out is … you Canadians spend Summer at the LAKE. At a cottage by the LAKE. Going to the beach is going to the LAKE. Odd. And very cold (I discovered when Jen took me).
August 10th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Oh yeah, in recent months I’ve spent weeks on end unplugged (not without electricity, just interent, which, lets face it, is all that counts) due to changing house / internet provider and then being in hospital with Aoife for a week. Not my choice, I am happy to be wired again.
August 10th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
They don’t have Aero bars down there either. Heathens.
I’ve never liked summer. I can remember the halycon days of childhood, the buzzing of electric lines in early august, the bleached sunlight of the afternoon, the biting strength of the grass. But I also remember heat stroke, blistered sun burns, and various other bad things. I’m a fall girl.
So I could never unplug in summer. My ideal week? Alone in my house, or a little cottage somewhere with a T1 line, beer and time to write and talk to all of you, to create. While i was in the hospital and only had sporatic access to the internet, it felt disabling-like not having a phone or the ability to walk down the street to talk to friends. I hated it.
I want to be a luddite, but sadly, won’t happen. And unlike Kate, both my husband and I ARE crocheted to the couch sadly.
August 10th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Now you’re making Bossy nervous that summer is over. Oh-ver!
August 10th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
yes, Bossy, summer here ends about August 9th. or at least, last night i had to close the window in the den because the room was getting a chill. didn’t mind a lot, though. i’m more into autumn, that arty girl shaking her dandruff onto the page to make snowflakes.
and George, the lake thing is true in a lot of North America, but i’ve never been to one - PEI literally doesn’t have any, nor have i ever lived far enough inland to have them be part of my reality. yet still, the image is so strong and powerful and pervasive that it shapes even my own personal sense of what it means to “cottage”.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
I feel a vague, yet all-encompassing dread (cold extremities, clouded thoughts) that I’ve reluctantly traced to the fact that I won’t have access to my cell phone for another ten days or so. And I never actually use my cell phone.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
fuck the cultural fantasy of summer - it’s just that - a fantasy. it was 112 degrees here yesterday ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE. now, i don’t even know what that is in degrees C… but i don’t care. it just sounds hot. you can’t go outside cos you will turn into a puddle, and the humidity is just digusting. now is the worst time to unplug!! the only place it’s bearable to be is inside with AC on FULLBLAST… at the puda… thank thee internetz!!
August 10th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
OHHHH.
Dramamine.
Yes, we have Dramamine.
(breathing a sigh of relief that I’m not without a key parenting weapon, er, medicine)
August 11th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
I live in a state of unpluggedness.
Except for my internet fix…which I try to hide from my kiddies…which is becoming decidedly more difficult as they grow older.
If the whole world could just leave me the hell alone and let me live in my bloggy heaven, my life would be darn near perfect.
Not quite perfect, but close.
I unplugged last summer for three months. After the first week, I didn’t miss it at all, until I plugged back in and realized that my quality of life really is affected by my virtual world…as in…it is better with all y’all in it.
Since then, I like to keep you close.
Especially the hot ones, like you.
August 11th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Cottage with wireless - I’m there!
I can’t remember the last time I was unplugged for more than a day. Probably summer of 2002, when I traveled to Europe for a dance tour.
August 12th, 2007 at 12:54 am
I WANT to be unplugged and so wasn’t this summer, sigh. My ideal: a house on a lonely beach with no technology around for miles (ok, maybe a small television).
August 13th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Unplugged is desperately hard for me. Whilst home with the kiddos, it’s a recipe for a trip to the psych ward. I could imagine, though, a trip with just my husband, lots of sand and turquoise water and little white fish that come to kiss toes and slushy drinks that make one instantly woozy and sun delirium and a lusty retiring to a hotel room…for that, I’d un-friggin-plug, ya know?
August 13th, 2007 at 1:36 am
oh Kelly, me too!
(except i’d probably go to the little terminal by the beach to check my email and stuff at least, oh, twice a day). i know this, cause we spent months travelling southeast Asia a few years ago, and yep, even before blogging we were both in need of our internet time, our wider world. sand, nice. swimming, nice. but internet…necessary.
August 13th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
An associate of ours “found” an Hyundai in the woods of central Ontario and attempted to rehabilitate its interior with liberal doses of Febreze. He gave us a lift to Pearson in the car which I dubbed the Gagwagon. I wonder what happens if you go: vomit + febreze + heat… I hope never to smell the pain.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Aw. That’s a lot to put up with, especially when you think everyone else is slacking off. I haven’t! Even though I don’t have a 40-hour-plus job outside the home. Maybe your summer will be fall, or winter….
August 16th, 2007 at 1:06 am
A week.
And it almost killed me.
Writing and reading are my new addictions.
August 16th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I try not to be so black and white about the “unplugged” thing. I am basically plugged in all week long, but I don’t do much surfing on the weekend - I prefer to be out and about with people. But if I do want to check out some blogs, that’s okay. I just don’t make it a priority like I do in the week.