Comments on: child of the heart http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/ i will NOT scribble on the children Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:08:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: pnuts mama http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-55400 pnuts mama Fri, 12 Oct 2007 06:43:10 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-55400 i don't come over here often enough...that was wonderful. i always imagined having a boy, and when we found out pnut was a girl, i was terrified- i love her deeply but was afraid of a girl, what our relationship would be. boys just seemed less complex, i guess. i'd love another girl and then a son. like SianOna i've been surprised how similar how much she's like me and that can be great and also irritating sometimes, like seeing the things you'd rather not in the mirror. our girl is the only one on either side- 3 boys each on both sides! so the "girl" attention on her gets a little crazy at times- also, my husband is the 4th boy (i thank god everyday that they kept trying for that girl!) and my MIL told me the other day that she always pictured herself with a girl- to sew and knit things for, buy and play all the girly things with, and she is just so crazy and excited (in a good way) to be able to do this now with her grand-daughter. and i'm glad for her, and us. i don’t come over here often enough…that was wonderful.

i always imagined having a boy, and when we found out pnut was a girl, i was terrified- i love her deeply but was afraid of a girl, what our relationship would be. boys just seemed less complex, i guess. i’d love another girl and then a son. like SianOna i’ve been surprised how similar how much she’s like me and that can be great and also irritating sometimes, like seeing the things you’d rather not in the mirror.

our girl is the only one on either side- 3 boys each on both sides! so the “girl” attention on her gets a little crazy at times- also, my husband is the 4th boy (i thank god everyday that they kept trying for that girl!) and my MIL told me the other day that she always pictured herself with a girl- to sew and knit things for, buy and play all the girly things with, and she is just so crazy and excited (in a good way) to be able to do this now with her grand-daughter. and i’m glad for her, and us.

]]> By: Kathryn http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-55081 Kathryn Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:41:21 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-55081 What a gorgeous post. You really described what many women feel, but maybe don't want to say. I have three boys. When I found out I was having my third boy I silently grieved for the loss of my little girl who wouldn't be. My mom had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer so I was thinking that God would definitely give me a little girl to give me a chance to be the kind of mom my mother was to me. It would help me through the healing process. It was a shock when that didn't happen. In the end, I learned that God is the one who knows what I really need despite what I think I want. My 3rd son has been a true joy (as are the other 2). I can NOT imagine my life without him. He is an absolute angel. I am so thankful that God blessed me with 3 boys. Perhaps I will still have a girl. Or I won't. But either way, my life is blessed. What a gorgeous post. You really described what many women feel, but maybe don’t want to say. I have three boys. When I found out I was having my third boy I silently grieved for the loss of my little girl who wouldn’t be. My mom had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer so I was thinking that God would definitely give me a little girl to give me a chance to be the kind of mom my mother was to me. It would help me through the healing process. It was a shock when that didn’t happen.
In the end, I learned that God is the one who knows what I really need despite what I think I want. My 3rd son has been a true joy (as are the other 2). I can NOT imagine my life without him. He is an absolute angel. I am so thankful that God blessed me with 3 boys.
Perhaps I will still have a girl. Or I won’t. But either way, my life is blessed.

]]> By: Mary Jo http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54889 Mary Jo Mon, 08 Oct 2007 14:44:12 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54889 I loved having girls, though I think I would have found boys easier. When they reached 12, all my girls seem to have decided: "You had your chance mom; now I raise you." My mom, as well as I, had five brothers. I often complained: "Mom, you knew what 5 brothers were like, how could you do this to me?" I always tell people my 4 daughters are my reward for enduring 5 brothers. During my first marriage I never longed for a boy. But things changed when I fell in love with my second husband. His first wife was infertile, so he didn't have children of his own. He was 16 years younger than I was; I was just going through menopause. I longed to have his son. The major reason it look 6 years for his Andy to come to America from England was his need to make peace with having stepdaughters, not biological children. He is enjoying grandfathering. My son-in-law's dad is dead; Vanessa's dad is in Florida and has only seen his grandson once. So Nate will consider Andy his main grandpa. I didn't realize how thrilled I was to have a grandson. I loved having girls, though I think I would have found boys easier. When they reached 12, all my girls seem to have decided: “You had your chance mom; now I raise you.” My mom, as well as I, had five brothers. I often complained: “Mom, you knew what 5 brothers were like, how could you do this to me?” I always tell people my 4 daughters are my reward for enduring 5 brothers. During my first marriage I never longed for a boy.

But things changed when I fell in love with my second husband. His first wife was infertile, so he didn’t have children of his own. He was 16 years younger than I was; I was just going through menopause. I longed to have his son. The major reason it look 6 years for his Andy to come to America from England was his need to make peace with having stepdaughters, not biological children. He is enjoying grandfathering. My son-in-law’s dad is dead; Vanessa’s dad is in Florida and has only seen his grandson once. So Nate will consider Andy his main grandpa.

I didn’t realize how thrilled I was to have a grandson.

]]> By: bon http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54446 bon Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:54:29 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54446 so many things you all said really touched me, in these comments...perhaps, most of all, SianOna saying "i can tell you, though, she's not what i expected." that's the thing. this child i carry with me, in my mind...she has a gender, but also a personality, many qualities...and i don't think she will ever exist, even if (god forbid) i go on to have ten daughters. i wonder if she isn't some younger me, some fantasy version of self, some opportunity for redemption or something. so if there is another bebe in the Crib, someday, yep, i'd like a girl. but a boy would be lovely too. because i don't think that the little daughter of my heart is so much me having a child but maybe me having a dream. i don't know. i guess i'll never know until i have a daughter...so maybe it's just the answer to that question that i long for? so many things you all said really touched me, in these comments…perhaps, most of all, SianOna saying “i can tell you, though, she’s not what i expected.”

that’s the thing. this child i carry with me, in my mind…she has a gender, but also a personality, many qualities…and i don’t think she will ever exist, even if (god forbid) i go on to have ten daughters. i wonder if she isn’t some younger me, some fantasy version of self, some opportunity for redemption or something.

so if there is another bebe in the Crib, someday, yep, i’d like a girl. but a boy would be lovely too. because i don’t think that the little daughter of my heart is so much me having a child but maybe me having a dream. i don’t know. i guess i’ll never know until i have a daughter…so maybe it’s just the answer to that question that i long for?

]]> By: SianOna http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54444 SianOna Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:43:51 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54444 Your posts are amazing. You have a real gift for writing Bon. I can understand longing for a certain child. I wanted my girl so badly. I will tell you though, she's not what I expected. She's exactly like I was as a child. Which is to say, she's very weird. And moody. And sometimes mean. Now my longing is for my Collin. I won't get him. But I have been picturing a son named Collin since we settled on that name. Before The Girl was even conceived. I know exactly what he will look like, what he will be like, what he will feel like in my arms. :::sigh::: Darn it, Bon, your posts always get me thinking! Your posts are amazing. You have a real gift for writing Bon.

I can understand longing for a certain child. I wanted my girl so badly. I will tell you though, she’s not what I expected. She’s exactly like I was as a child. Which is to say, she’s very weird. And moody. And sometimes mean.

Now my longing is for my Collin. I won’t get him. But I have been picturing a son named Collin since we settled on that name. Before The Girl was even conceived. I know exactly what he will look like, what he will be like, what he will feel like in my arms. :::sigh::: Darn it, Bon, your posts always get me thinking!

]]> By: Hannah http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54434 Hannah Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:40:39 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54434 Sorry I'm late. I don't know what to say that hasn't been said already. And my comments are starting to sound syncophantic because I wish wish wish I could write as well as you. I am hoping for a girl this time, I don't care who knows it. I am so close to my mother that I want to know what that relationship feels like from the other side. Sorry I’m late. I don’t know what to say that hasn’t been said already. And my comments are starting to sound syncophantic because I wish wish wish I could write as well as you.

I am hoping for a girl this time, I don’t care who knows it. I am so close to my mother that I want to know what that relationship feels like from the other side.

]]> By: Jana http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54367 Jana Fri, 05 Oct 2007 02:38:23 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54367 Wonderful and timely post. I am the girliest of girlie-girls and the proud mom to two boys who look and act exactly like their daddy. Having a girl terrifies me, I think I would totally screw her up. But, lately I too am starting to really mourn the idea of never having a little me to raise. While I love being Queen Bee and THE woman that my boys will base all assumptions on what it means to be female, I would still love a little co-hort to shop with and play tea party and all of that fun girl stuff. Glad to see that I am not alone. I think we all need the serenity prayer. ;) Wonderful and timely post. I am the girliest of girlie-girls and the proud mom to two boys who look and act exactly like their daddy. Having a girl terrifies me, I think I would totally screw her up. But, lately I too am starting to really mourn the idea of never having a little me to raise. While I love being Queen Bee and THE woman that my boys will base all assumptions on what it means to be female, I would still love a little co-hort to shop with and play tea party and all of that fun girl stuff. Glad to see that I am not alone. I think we all need the serenity prayer. ;)

]]> By: Redneck Mommy http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54317 Redneck Mommy Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:42:06 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54317 Your post was wonderful. And so was Slouchy's. Congratulations to both of you. Having children of both sexes, and so early on in my life, I never had to wish or wonder what it would be like to wish for a daughter or a son. I guess that was to save all my wishes; reserve them for later on, to dream of a different ending and wish for a second chance. Your post was wonderful. And so was Slouchy’s. Congratulations to both of you.

Having children of both sexes, and so early on in my life, I never had to wish or wonder what it would be like to wish for a daughter or a son.

I guess that was to save all my wishes; reserve them for later on, to dream of a different ending and wish for a second chance.

]]> By: mimi http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54291 mimi Thu, 04 Oct 2007 10:36:32 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54291 What a beautiful post, Bon -- this and SM's really articulated something I've never allowed myself to express, except in my case it's shock that I had the girl I wanted, but felt bad for focusing on such a comparitively little thing. Beautiful post. And your award is well, well deserved. Congratulations. What a beautiful post, Bon — this and SM’s really articulated something I’ve never allowed myself to express, except in my case it’s shock that I had the girl I wanted, but felt bad for focusing on such a comparitively little thing. Beautiful post. And your award is well, well deserved. Congratulations.

]]> By: Damselfly http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-54261 Damselfly Thu, 04 Oct 2007 02:37:18 +0000 http://cribchronicles.com/2007/10/01/child-of-the-heart/#comment-54261 The sex of a child is a funny thing. We might wish for one or the other, but of course we are just so happy when any child is alive and well. I think we all forget just how much of a miracle we are. I have a "dream girl," too, but another boy in the future would be just as wonderful. The sex of a child is a funny thing. We might wish for one or the other, but of course we are just so happy when any child is alive and well.

I think we all forget just how much of a miracle we are.

I have a “dream girl,” too, but another boy in the future would be just as wonderful.

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