some of us woke up on the unjust side of the bed this morning.

riddle me this…

how is that my child – who has moved gradually to a single nap at the sitter’s over the past couple of months and happily naps there for two or three hour spells – cannot seem to nap at home on a weekend for more than forty-five bloody minutes?   even if we keep him up all morning long and make sure he’s fed and dry when he goes down?  why God?  why such a damned trickster?  don’t you notice we have blogging to do and hurricane preparations to, erm, prepare for?

how is it that my cat – who is a reasonably pleasant furry little creature who keeps the heck out of Oscar’s way and has never, to my knowledge, turned on him with an unearned swat or nip – bites the living daylights out of my ankles every time i have the temerity to so much as walk past her?  why me?  why so damned tasty?  doesn’t she notice that i actually have the boniest, pointiest lower extremities in the house?  (i mean, if she were biting the love handles, i’d get it…)

how is it that my cloth diapers (okay, they’re Oscar’s, formally, but i clean ‘em) – which are meant to be a fancy-ass lifetime investment ready to diaper the next twelve children i produce (uh, don’t even think about it, God!) – leak constantly, despite the fact that they’ve been stripped of detergent residue and washed according to all the nice directions?  why, world?  why is my child the little Niagara who cannot be contained by environmentally-friendly hemp and microfleece fibres?  why is it that every time we leave the house the child’s pants end up looking and smelling like he’s been sleeping in an alley?  why am i the dumb-ass mother who can’t seem to figure out how to diaper/feed/nurture my child without the assistance of soul-sucking plastics, vinyls, and pthalates?

insert renting of garments and gnashing of teeth.

and the real kicker…how is it that my comfort food giant economy bag of Bridge Mixture turned out to only have seven of those big chocolate-covered gummies in it, and about seven thousand entirely boring chocolate-covered peanuts?  why, i ask? suppose you thought that was funny, Bridge Mixture people?!?  suppose you thought you’d have a bit of a giggle, take the piss on some poor, gummy-loving soul?!?  well, i’m glaring at you RIGHT NOW, you know.  glaring very hard.

i have some extra (slightly nibbled) chocolate-covered peanuts at my house if anyone wants to come over and tamp their feet in a small, minor tantrum of sulkiness with me this afternoon.   just sayin’.

bring your own injustices…and more Bridge Mixture.