Sun 6 Jan 2008
epiphanies
Posted by bon under crib cast, pondering stuff
[32] Comments
old Christmas.
i’ve always loved the word ‘epiphany,’ gloried in the way it slips off the tongue, like an icicle: shining, elusive. its multiplicity of meanings lures me, too, rich and complex as it is in both its Christian usages and its secular incarnation. and suddenly, writing this, the connection between the visitation of the Wise Men and the flash of intuitive insight strikes me, and in the meta-moment i smile, abashed at never having noticed before. an epiphany about epiphany. how geeky. how entertaining. how lovely. writing does this for me, makes things evident i’d never see unless i trapped them in print, wriggling into meaning.
seven years today since i walked away, for good, from a marriage that was safe yet sad, in ways i never had adequate words to explain. seven years and i have had no epiphanies on that one, only the slow crusting over of a scar one has made on oneself, with sorrow and some guilt, but zero regret. the decision made and agreed upon some weeks before, i strapped on my backpack, and trudged down a crowded Korean alley to a cheap hotel which offered sex toys in a vending machine and a bed for a price that wouldn’t break my bank account. my friend Sarah, who was even more newly arrived in the country than i was, stayed with me. we eschewed the vending machine, though giggled at the, erm, delicate circumference of some of its offerings. we committed great cultural offense whenever we failed to remove our shoes at the door to our room, a pink linoleum palace awash in garish satiny relics, like some vintage, campy Marilyn Monroe trailer. we learned to order takeout, by phone, in Korean.
i read a lot of Dorothy Parker, then. on that epiphany afternoon in which i first laid down my bags in that pink waystation to everything that came after, i stole her words for “sanctuary” for my journal.
the land is bare of chattering folk, the clouds are low along the ridges
and sweet’s the air with curly smoke, from all my burning bridges.
she brought me comfort, wry, caustic Dorothy Parker, mistress of words.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i am a person who looks back, personally – Lot’s wife had nothing on my capacity for casting backward glances, taking stock of where i’ve been – but also culturally. in the 21st century pastiche environment of media and information, i’m a firm and entrenched throwback, a dinosaur of sorts. i am a paragon of the print era. in grade 5, my teacher used to ask me for help spelling things. in college, i kept my pissant scholarship based not on class attendance but on some innate, unfailing sense for constructing an effective written essay, even though i left assignments to the night before. reading and writing is as natural to me as breathing.
born too late, i whisper to myself in the wee hours, counting topic sentences and finely honed turns of phrase to soothe myself to sleep.
because this inclination of mine represents no longer the keys to power, nor to cool. this heavy pull towards all things print-based, towards the structures and invisible codes of a medium whose day has been and gone, renders me increasingly ananchronistic in my sensibilities. i am linear, structure-focused, frustrated by breadth without depth. i like the considered nature of print. i am an essayist in a world of tweets and facebook notes.
i’m open to technologies and to those new-fangled media that are primarily non-word-based, but from the perspective of a cultural anthropologist visiting a very foreign land. i love my computer, but i use it to read…and to write long, journal-style blog entries. i seldom turn on the tv. i only listen to music in the car, and even then prefer the wordiness of CBC radio for most short trips. gadgets befuddle me. i don’t have an iPod. and the website development Dave & i’ve been working on this weekend, where i’m trying to design content (for a writing course!) without a visual sense of what the finished product will look like and what hierarchy or structure it will fit within, makes me into a wretched, tortured, evil cow. really. ask Dave.
because he’s different, you see. the wiring of his brain makes new things fun for him, apparently, and makes him far more willing than i to venture outside the pleasant, familiar, pastoral world of paragraphs and conclusions to risk his metaphorical neck using new media for experimentation and expression. he’s decided to do a live one-minute video blog every day, all year, during 2008. that’s 366 video clips, folks…originally titled 365 but, erm, he forgot the whole Leap Year deal. his loving public fixed that fast. 366 minute-long blurps of Dave sitting in front of the Christmas lights in our playroom/office (because Oscar likes those lights and even though everything else has come down for old Christmas those will stay, so hath declared the indulgent parents) blathering on without structure, without planning, without editing. just to try it. just to see if he can do it…an art project of extemporizing. i, who can say nothing in less than a thousand words, each one carefully chosen, shudder at the thought.
but i’m proud of him. or at least pleased one of us is living in this century.
and willing to take a few steps in that direction myself, just so as not to become so comfortable in my little world of print here that the epiphanies other media may have to offer aren’t entirely closed off to me. a few weeks ago, in the mad rush of the day before we left for the holidays, i remembered i’d promised had the privilege to be part of a live webcast in the Worldbridges Solstice Webcastathon. if you’re trapped in traffic and think my “ummms” and ramblings about how much i love the mommy blog community might help to while away the lonely hours, the link’s at the top of this post, for your listening pleasure.
and i’d like to do more. i did a few live webcasts when i first started the blog, back in 2006, but organizing guests and conversations with a newborn and a blog audience of three proved challenging. now, i’m thinking…maybe you could help? if i could, say, Skype you…or even call you on your home phone…and pick your brain about some topic you’ve been writing about, and maybe gather a few people together for occasional roundtables on, um, stuff. cool stuff. we might be able to take this community to another level of conversation, people.
and launch ourselves boldly into the brave new world of the 1930s radio broadcasting podcasting while we do it!
if you speak, and speak English (sorry! i’m limited!), and would be willing to speak to me…leave me a comment. be warned, though: i’m ever more long-winded without the benefit of those invisible edit and delete keys.




January 7th, 2008 at 1:19 am
“i am an essayist in a world of tweets and facebook notes.”
and that’s why I love you. and will never ever be as good as you are at this whole writing thing.
January 7th, 2008 at 1:59 am
Oh! Your voice is so normal and pleasant. My voice sounds like Pee Wee Herman, but more masculine.
I am hesitantly willing to participate, if you can tolerate a nasal contralto (yes, that combination is actually possible).
January 7th, 2008 at 2:08 am
A dream come true! A wonderful essay, this is. I always thought I had a propensity for many, many words, but you do outnumber me. The thing is: every damn word you write is heavy with meaning and thought, and I leave here wanting pages and pages more. So never edit theeself too much, dear Bon. I could read you endlessly
.
January 7th, 2008 at 2:25 am
This was fabulous, Bon!
January 7th, 2008 at 3:05 am
I tried to listen to the CribCast, but was immediately ’shushed’ by my husband because, apparently, the noise was alerting our sleep averse toddler to the fact that we are DOWN HERE HAVING FUN! Sheesh.
It’s an intriguing idea, this. I like it. I would participate.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:45 am
count me in, bon. of course.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:01 am
Of course, call me! (I’m nothing like the annoying character from the movie Singles. I promise.)
January 7th, 2008 at 4:12 am
count me in too, of course too. what a great idea!
January 7th, 2008 at 4:32 am
Me, too.
I recently found out that the interview process for the program I’m applying to requires you to go from room to room, answer a question in each room, given 8 minutes each. Someone said to me, “What if you’ve answered the question in 4 minutes?” Honestly, I would NEVER find myself in that situation. Joe always jokes that I have to say things three times because I reconsider the tiny nuances of everything I’ve said that, to the casual observer, make no difference whatsoever.
That said, call me! If only because I want the thrill of being telephoned by a friendly fellow-blogger. We’ll talk each others’ ears off.
January 7th, 2008 at 6:56 am
Long blog posts often mean the writer was undisciplined, unable to come to the point, messy, and uninteresting to me. But never you! I could and do read you ever day. Your kind of essay inspires me.
January 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
i’m game.
you have a lovely, deep voice.
January 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I read your blogs, loving them all, wishing I could express my epiphanies half as well as you. You have a true gift.
You can skype me anyday…
January 7th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Oh, of course, I’m game. Maybe we could even get together in the flesh for it… Who knows.
And yup, I am an essayist too. I don’t get the bleepy bytes of Facebook. I can’t write a blog post unless I know it has a point: too many “identify and explain the significance of” exams in my youth.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
You mentioned my cookies, you sweetie, you.
Like you, I started my blog without ever reading any others.
This was great stuff, bon. I also agree that memes have gone out of fashion.
OK, I listened to the whole thing–AT WORK. Now I must go be the most conscientious librarian ever.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Oh, listen to you! Your voice doesn’t sound the way I pictured, although I don’t know what I thought you’d sound like.
You’re much more articulate at that whole “speaking” thing then I am. I sound like a 12 year old. A dumb 12 year old. But if you’d be interested, I’m game.
January 7th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Your essays sing. And you come from around unexpected corners and delight me.
Sure, count me in.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
First, Dave is TOOOOOOO cute.
Second, I don’t have Skype, but I want to get it. Just for you. Not to be interviewed per se, but just because… to talk to you live. Wow.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Any time darling. Any time.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
I love how you actually pronounce it aboot!
January 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
how cool is that? i don’t have skype but it all sounds so very interesting, i love the video blog
you are so cutting edge …
January 7th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
i do NOT pronounce it aboot! i do noot!
erm, wait.
okay, all this enthusiasm and openness is awesome. i’m going to try to organize some kinda plan. will keep you all posted.
and Skype is free to download, just for anyone who’s interested…not that they pay me to say that, alas.
January 8th, 2008 at 2:18 am
Bon, I’d be so pleased to help, if I can!
CGF
January 8th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Oooh, sounds like fun. I’d do it.
January 8th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Seems we may be long lost sisters, us.
I got through college the same way, I’m not a TV girl, nor listen to much music. I’m mostly sans music in the car unless I’m trying to drown out the cries of my two girls.
It’s quite embarassing, actually, that pop culture is so lost on me. I don’t know top 40 songs or prime time/syndicated shows. Sigh.
Now, off to continue listening to your webcast!
January 9th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Yay, for some possible, future cribcasts! I was always a fan of those. I like to hear people’s takes on things more than have my say, as I already know what I think.
And ‘Oh The Joys’, you took the thought right from me…for me Bon pronounces it more “aboat”, but hey that’s probably just my Aussie ear. What a colourful accent!
Nonetheless, I think it’s interesting how very differently people come across when writing and then when speaking (that’s neither a good or a bad thing…just an observation!). It’s just like two sides to one coin, if you will.
Bon, for me your blog reigns for its written words, obviously. I’m a sucker for great writing. All the other bits are just bonus stuff that give us a glimpse as to the gifted person that’s behind all these breathtakingly intricate and magical word-weavings and thoughts.
January 9th, 2008 at 3:34 am
I love it. Great idea, Bon. I’ll be tied up for the next couple weeks but would do just about anything for you…
January 9th, 2008 at 5:23 am
i’d be up for it, too
January 9th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Bon,
I’ve been pondering this same idea for the past couple of months — producing a podcast of conversations with mommy bloggers. The bloggers that I’ve had the privilege of discovering (including yourself) are such intelligent, insightful women that I have personally yearned to hear (literally) more from them. And many of their readers offer so much wisdom and humor in their comments.
However, without actually having learned the skills to record and edit a podcast – this idea languished. So glad to hear that you’ve gotten the idea too and I’ll look forward to listening.
(PS I’d be happy to participate as well, but am nowhere as “famous” as yourself or some of your readers)
January 9th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I have no interest in speaking with anyone on any subject which is to say I have nothing to say other than all the best with this project and to point out this is a gratuitous comment which should have been clear from the outset. Perhaps I will develop a “comment advisory” sticker to preface comments such as this one but that suggests I know how to use this computer for something other than typing or seeking tennis scores, which, of course, I do not.
January 9th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
You are so way more techno than I am.
January 9th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Why not. Then you have a reason to come across the bridge. Hell, is it even long distance?
January 10th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
happy belated turning point day.
I too have that innate sense, and the need to edit. And am way long-winded.
But are you kidding me? You offering an opportunity to talk on the phone? For real? You’d better not be teasing…