Tue 25 Mar 2008
die cast
Posted by bon under pregnancy stuff, stuff to be done
we both used to live here, separately, married to other people, living other lives.
eight and ten years later, respectively, here we are again, turning a doctor’s appointment into a vacation, wheeling Oscar down streets that seem far more city-ish than they used to, teasing ourselves with notions of moving back here, spending more time on these old streets. there are more people like us here, shabby faux urbanites who get excited about Korean restaurants and Belgian beer and neighbourhood coffee shops…and in truth even after a decade gone, we have more friends still here than we do at home.
but we were going to go home today.
instead, the doctor’s appointment this afternoon turned into a four-hour extravaganza of history and questions and more questions and not only are we going with a cerclage after all but we are going with said cerclage at 9 am tomorrow morning. here. so here we stay, for a bit.
my cervix is already shorter than it was at 22 weeks with Oscar. it was my decision, ultimately, which i think i would’ve preferred it not be, but it is made.
there are risks…infection primarily, but doing it this early and while i still have some cervix left means that the risk of losing the little round-headed alien i saw on the ultrasound today is in the 1-2% range. whereas i suspect this cervix’s chances of making it even to 28 weeks without a stitch might be…um…worse. there is no certainty of this, mind you…of any of this.
but we will stay and Oscar and his father can be urbanites for a few more days whilst i revisit the perinatal bedrest floor of the IWK.
be careful what you wish for, says i.













March 25th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
“…what we have now was once among the things only hoped for.” Epicurus (I think). The pregnancy, hoped for. The cerclage, obviously not. But its the means to the end, right? I’ll be thinking of you. Take care of yourself.
March 25th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Yes — take care of you, and the alien.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
I am so sorry Bon. I hope this move will give you a long and healthy pregnancy. Tell that little Bean to stay put and grow big strong lungs.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Oh that little swimmer wants to be difficult, I see.
Take good care, girl.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Ah, Bon. You are doing the right thing. Fight, fight, Mama. Peace to you - I hope you are Ok after the procedure tomorrow. Do you have to stay in bed immediately afterwards? Hugs, Internet friend.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Oh, yikes. Yikes! Okay. Got it. We are on duty officially as Oscar/Dave entertainers and Bon visitors, whenever and whatever we can do.
I’ll be in touch my dear. And consider the Move-To-The-City! propaganda campaign officially ON. You are never going to hear the end of it because, well, how cool would that be? Pardon me while I serve my own purposes in the midst of the beginning of your IWK epic. (wink)
xo
March 25th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
You can do it, Bon. You all can, you and O and Dave and the little round-headed alien. I’ll be thinking of you (more often) tomorrow.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Oh Bon, that’s scary news. But I’m so glad you were at the doctor’s today, and that the cerclage can be done. You will be on my mind constantly.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I am glad to hear you might get some very cool company whilst there, but I am still going to worry a bit for you, ok?
I am also glad it was caught early and there is a plan and close attention.
Can I hope your few days on bed rest are actually restful? I am sure I am projecting my own tiredness issues, but it lets me think of something immediately good coming out of this most unplanned of decisions. Selfish? Why, yes. Also helps me focus on parts that are not scary.
Thinking of you, and hoping for easy, sterile, and secure.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I have this quiet little place deep inside me where I am storing a whole list of hopes for you right now, too afraid to speak them out loud. Be strong, bon.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
I’m glad that your passenger is still on board. And hopefully this procedure will keep him/her there for much, much longer!
March 25th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Thinking of you and the round-headed alien…
March 26th, 2008 at 12:00 am
oh babe. wish i were there to make funny faces at you.
and — what mad said. i can’t say it better.
so much love to you.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:50 am
I’m glad they caught it in time to take action and that you’re being properly monitored.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:56 am
That Mad. She’s nailed it.
We hold tight. We send light.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:27 am
Yes, what Mad said. Speaking things aloud seems to tempt fate at times and we just won’t have any of that now, will we?
March 26th, 2008 at 2:37 am
My love and my prayers too.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:28 am
I’m thinking of you today - fingers crossed too.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Let me know if you need a visit, real food brought to you, anything for Dave & Oscar… I was at the IWK yesterday too, for a checkup - weird that we were probably only rooms apart!
And what Mad said. Only with more shamefacedly admitting that I needed to look up “cerclage” on Google in order to completely understand this post. Be well.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:53 am
fingers crossed and prayers said for you all. sweet bon and the little alien, I am thinking of you.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:16 am
oh little alien. You stay right where you are.
If you need some books, let me know. I shall send.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Good luck–I’ll be thinking about you.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:22 am
I’m thinking of you - the time change means I’m at work and you’re at IWK. I Googled too and learned that you may have to give up aerobics (the horror!!). We too are hoping for many things, and sending love across the seas.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Be brave.
I’ve had two long bedrests so far - one with The Boy, one with The Baby - and I know how grimly scary it is. I will keep you and your baby in my prayers.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I’m sorry to hear this. Though, of course, glad that it was discovered early and that there’s something that can be done about it.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Good luck doesn’t feel like the right thing to say for some reason. And I’m not much for prayer any more. But I have to say something since I can’t reach through the screen and offer you a hug. So just know that I’m thinking of you and wishing you well.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I’ll be thinking of you and your little alien.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
It’s ironic how resting in bed sounds so much more inviting than bed rest. I wish you well, bon. Take care of you.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Taking steps to make things more medically manageable is a good thing, Bon. A responsible thing.
And a very, very hard thing, too.
Praying for you and your wee babe.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Thinking of you and little alien. fingers crossed, everything crossed. Wishing fiercely.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
i am glad that the cervix was caught before she misbehaved. i hate the not knowing, but at the same time a cerclage helps me, at least, feel like there’s some security down there.
i also had the one half day of mind-prep before getting the cerclage scheduled. i was put on a 48-hr dose of oral antiobiotics after the procedure.
thinking of you and your family.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
alas, my shortening cervix (how dare anyone accuse it of being incomptant??) just started it’s softening too late to be tied up and trussed like a turkey- so here i sit on the world’s most uncomfortable couch, pretending to be a decent mama who can’t really get up and dance with the pnut or play her favorite game of “follow me, mama!” or pick her up when she’s so used to my scooping her up at any whim either of us may have.
“moderate bedrest” is crap. the alternative is worse. what a lovely mindf*ck this pregnancy has turned out to be, heh? sigh. i keep thinking “oh, a few more days for better lungs” “another week closer to 82% viability”- best to you as you do what is best for you both- keeping that little one safe and sound and where he or she belongs for as long as possible.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Thanks for making me look up the word cerclage.
Sending happy thoughts your way….
March 26th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
thinking of you bon… thinking of you all.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Thank goodness for Google huh? So a cerclage is a stich. According to Wiki there are two types - the one that gets taken out and the permenant one that means you have to have a ceasar. Which is it? (Assuming that Wiki actually got it right and there are two types).

As horrible a procedure as it sounds, it seems like a very practical, well-made decision to have it done Bon. Is it bedrest from here on in or do you get to go home after the procedure?
So many questions, best asked beside your bed, but that’s not possible - unless … once you’ve had the cerclage you’d be right for a trip to Australia wouldn’t you??
This is for you
This is for O xxx
and this is for Dave
March 26th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Your strength astounds me. Really and truly.
I want to meet that wee alien one day (as well as the rest of you).
March 26th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Just checkin’ in…
March 27th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Oh Bon, checking in and wishing you nothing but the best.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:50 am
hey there. . hope you’re doing ok.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:26 am
I will be thinking of you.
March 27th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Tough decision Bon.
It’s always hard to have to make preventive decisions that relate to things that “may” happen in the future - things that are only “ideas” at the time when that decision needs to be made. I think you’re one brave soul - be it in an involuntary manner or a voluntary one.
I hope the cerclage went smoothly and you’re doing well.
I’m also hoping that the stitches not only keep baby put for as long as is needed, but serve to “seal” hope inside your body, allowing it, too, to grow and take form, so that it never leaves you, but becomes more tangible with each passing day.
Love to you.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Thinking of you.
xo
March 28th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Shoot - why am I always offline at the wrong time? Hope everything is okay. Thinking of you.