we both used to live here, separately, married to other people, living other lives.

eight and ten years later, respectively, here we are again, turning a doctor’s appointment into a vacation, wheeling Oscar down streets that seem far more city-ish than they used to, teasing ourselves with notions of moving back here, spending more time on these old streets. there are more people like us here, shabby faux urbanites who get excited about Korean restaurants and Belgian beer and neighbourhood coffee shops…and in truth even after a decade gone, we have more friends still here than we do at home.

but we were going to go home today.

instead, the doctor’s appointment this afternoon turned into a four-hour extravaganza of history and questions and more questions and not only are we going with a cerclage after all but we are going with said cerclage at 9 am tomorrow morning. here. so here we stay, for a bit.

my cervix is already shorter than it was at 22 weeks with Oscar. it was my decision, ultimately, which i think i would’ve preferred it not be, but it is made.

there are risks…infection primarily, but doing it this early and while i still have some cervix left means that the risk of losing the little round-headed alien i saw on the ultrasound today is in the 1-2% range. whereas i suspect this cervix’s chances of making it even to 28 weeks without a stitch might be…um…worse. there is no certainty of this, mind you…of any of this.

but we will stay and Oscar and his father can be urbanites for a few more days whilst i revisit the perinatal bedrest floor of the IWK.

be careful what you wish for, says i.