Archive for April, 2008

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

for Finn, three years later

it is your birthday, little one, and you are not here. i made cupcakes last night anyway, and when your father and your little brother come home later we will go out into the back yard where your trees are budding, just barely, and have a little picnic and talk about you and celebrate you.  […]

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Saturday, April 26th, 2008


the morning of his second birthday, last week, i trimmed Oscar’s hair. having spent my twenties fussily tending to my own bangs (when i had bangs), various boyfriends’ hair, and the occasional drunken friend’s plea to “do something with this mop” – the last of which admittedly often turned out rather awkward and regrettable once […]

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Thursday, April 24th, 2008


outside my window, a peaceful snow is falling. tulip buds huddle tight closed against the icy blanket. we had to drag out Oscar’s winter boots again this morning. part of me thinks this is ridiculous – that after a winter this long, this laden with storms, that spring is somehow obliged to hurry up and […]

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Monday, April 21st, 2008

two years, four cakes

…or how a three-day, two-party, four-cake,  triplicate-dinner bonanza of second birthday celebrations ensured that Oscar will now expect pure sugar with every meal for at least the next month. every little boy should have a mother on bedrest for his birthday, apparently.  parties materialize from all corners.  mamas gain ten pounds and like it.  teeth […]

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Sunday, April 20th, 2008

songs of labour and other things i’m not supposed to say

two years ago this morning i woke up exactly 36 weeks pregnant, rolled awkwardly over, smiled at Dave as the sun poured in our bedroom window and the cat perched atop my enormous belly, purring, and said, “God, i hope i don’t go into labour today.” he looked me cock-eyed.  i was almost ten weeks […]

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Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

in the quiet morning

one of the strangest things about bedrest is that it’s never as restful as i think it’s going to be. three springs, now, i have spent the lengthening days prone, watching the sun brighten outside my windows, imagining i can smell the warming earth.  at least this spring it’s my own windows, and they open…though […]

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Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Oscar on the cusp of two

small and sturdy, fierce and tender, he is a study in contradiction. he communicates his needs and his affections most effectively, but with the vocabulary of a child much younger.  his consonants are few, clearly a struggle, and he has only one or two regular word combinations.  he builds puzzles, though, that would challenge a […]

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Friday, April 11th, 2008

the cotton anniversary

when i started this blog, i had vague goals, especially timewise.  i thought maybe i could actually keep it going for a couple of months.  maybe.  if i didn’t run out of things to say.  maybe even longer, if i actually found a voice.  i thought it might be cool to try to blog through […]

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Monday, April 7th, 2008

the season of lost things

we made it safely home, four hundred vomit-free kilometres plus a few.  my couch and i are learning to live with each other in a whole new intimate way that may actually precipitate me finally giving in and getting rid of this wretched, stained, scratched-to-shit eleven-year-old Ikea special in favour of something, um, larger than […]

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Saturday, April 5th, 2008

the vomit comet

this week has not been a pleasant journey. drowning in work after an unanticipated ‘vacation’ spent getting pretty blue thread stitched into my lady parts, i came down with Oscar’s cold on Monday. then i saw my regular hometown OB, who felt me up and could find no evidence of any cervix left at all, […]

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