i’m home.

made it just before bedtime…met our freshly-bathed, pajama and rubber-boot clad boy coming in the door from his Nannie’s house.  he didn’t even know we’d been gone…just thought he’d been on a dinner date.  we all beamed at each other.  i tucked him in and petted his unruly curls and whispered it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…for my own ears, my still-shaken heart that had ached at the possibility of leaving him.

but i don’t have to.  i am home, tonight.

because while the Miss Cervix Universe 2008 pageant is, of course, not yet over…i think mine just got voted Miss Congeniality.  it’s trucking along cheerily, long and strong and with the blue fishing twine holding tight, every centimetre of it advocating world peace with a big sparkling smile.  it looks good, basically, and bebe looks good…still measuring on target, still a girl, still floating in a happy fluid pool.  i’m still on bedrest, but i’m home.  and i may – two or three more ultrasound trips aside – get to remain home until this baby is born if all continues status quo.  ten weeks ago, i was flat out told that was NOT going to happen.

so now, i’m going to have to adjust my expectations and self-image again, figure out how to be gracious if everything goes right.

if anyone has any experience with this, i have rather a lot of time and a rather large couch from which to contemplate your wisdom.  seriously.