Sun 22 Jun 2008
and the cotton is high
Posted by bon under smitten stuff
my boy fell asleep tonight like a small, curly-headed rock.
he and his father spent what must have been half of this true first weekend of summer running in the yard. it’s the first time it’s been genuinely warm here…i know the rest of you have been melting, in more southerly climes, but i seriously only packed away the sweaters last week. summer comes every year to the east coast of Canada like a shock…we draw out dampness and chill well into June, begin to lament and moan that decent weather will never come, and then…snap! suddenly it’s beautiful out and acres of terrifyingly pasty Scottish and Irish-descended flesh is bared, en masse, to the public eye in a dazzling display of blue-veined wonder. sunglasses are recommended if one wishes to brave the glare at the beach. so is a thermal wetsuit, for that matter…but the freezing temperature of our waters is not my problem this year. this year, my yard is my oyster, enclosed and enforced, and only those who venture into my lair must endure the shiny pallor of my tender, unexercised thighs. bless their hearts.
Oscar is too young yet to notice that the yard is, perhaps, not entirely a complete and magic kingdom unto itself. or perhaps it is, and it is only this year that i will be pinned, by circumstance and lack of alternatives, into taking notice. certainly for Dave and O it seems to suffice. they played kickball…Oscar learned to kick just this weekend and all attempts warrant a very intense goose-step, making him resemble a tiny mid-century soldier with eleven-inch legs, commandeering his yellow beachball about the property. they somersaulted on the lawn. they played up-down…wherein Oscar beetles up and down the two-degree-grade hill between our yard and the one next door, shouting “up!”, “down!” as he goes, pell-mell. the subtleties of the game escape me, but watching a man in his thirties, perhaps a few years and as many pounds from the heighth of his athletic glories but as focused and intense about anything he does as the most disciplined, competitive pentathlete, sprint up and down a hill barely visible to the naked eye some hundred-ought times to the tune of a toddler was…charming. and rather entertaining.
they climbed into the hammock Dave had suspended from a tree. they repeatedly visited the marvel of the hose on the side of the house. and they played airplane, my son hurtling through the air, laughter echoing in the blue blue sky.
i watched, sidelined. i felt guilty, not being able to play, not being able to take my share in the parenting, in the fun, in the strange mix of it all that is both joy and responsibility at once. but then i remembered…i don’t particularly like running. or ball-chasing. or most of the other physical delights a backyard offers…hence the reason i’ve never really enjoyed mine much before. which is not to say i wouldn’t enjoy these things with Oscar…i think i might. maybe. i hope i get to, next year, and the year after, with two little laughing creatures zinging madly across the grass. and sure, i realized, it would be nice to be able to do more, nice to not be sitting here with my leg muscles turning to jelly. but it is still nice, this absently planting petunias into a pot on the back deck while half-reclined, watching my son and his father exhaust each other. i am home, with the people i love. the baby is still safely inside. and all i have to do is sit, and watch. the livin’ is easy.
even if i could do a hundred things with a Sunday, i wouldn’t have changed today. when i am old, if i get to be old, i hope my memory retains the sight of that little boy and that grown one, giggling and panting their way around the young trees in this small backyard, with the June sky open behind them.













June 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 pm
And that’s what life is made of. That’s what we take forward with us. Memories like this, the most precious treasure. And contentment. Glad you’re doing well.
I meant to comment on your memoir about your grandmother and her friend. My security-conscious system at work wouldn’t let me. That was a beautiful tribute and remembrance.
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:56 pm
“There’s a’nothin’ can harm you
With Daddy and Mamma standin by.”
Glad summer’s hit, Bon.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:23 am
the living is easy, isn’t it. it’s always good to stop and remember that.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:36 am
My sweaters still hang in my closet, and I did wear one to work last week. Still, today was sunny here in Seattle…
This day of yours sounds lovely, the kind of day you tuck away and pull out when times get hard. I hope it stays put, nested in your memory forever.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:01 am
Great, great, great post. There’s just something so awesome about Daddy-Son play huh? Tell Dave I wish I could have seen that.
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:26 am
Oh Bon. Your living should be easy
June 23rd, 2008 at 4:38 am
Next summer, just remember to always choose to play goalie, so the little ones have to run towards you and exhaust themselves while you stand guard.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:36 am
Oh, I think you will remember. This made me ache a little. It was always easier to play WITH them when they were smaller because I was always right there. They seem to get less of me now that they’re more capable. Grass is always greener…even to just have to sit for a moment…but then I’d go crazy. You’re up to some important work there in your chair!
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:18 am
That is so wonderful Bonny. So beautiful. I sit in wonder when I am granted the same picture.
Your yard the oyster, in you the pearl.
I’m glad you have found home.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:28 am
oh the subtleties of childhood games (and knock-knock jokes), and what we will do to spend time with our children. i don’t really like to run in the rain, but have done it for S. and you will as well for O and the bean.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:16 am
Just beautiful.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:16 am
A lovely day, by all accounts. I’m so glad. I always leave here feeling poignant, but in a good way.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:35 am
HI Bonnie,
I’ve been coming here since I heard your interview on CBC some weeks ago. For me, pregancy and childbirth came so easily that I found it hard to relate to people like you for whom it is such a struggle. That is until 3 years ago when we learned that my oldest daughter would never be able to have children. At 21, she’s still struggling to come to terms with this loss, as am I. So I wanted to check in with you to let you know how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know you through your writing and how much I’m wishing for a happy ending to your story.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:48 am
When I moved south, I was shocked that they didn’t have “THE DAY.” In the north, we always had it — the first day of sandals, shorts, spring.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:43 pm
No running for you for awhile, you gotta keep miss cervix still.
But what a lovely image you painted for me as I sat and read this, from an idea of his sleep filled exhuasted head, probably a bit salty, to the image of him…and I imagine his squeals of joy playing with his dad.
lovely.
June 24th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
You captured the feeling of that lazy, contented day so perfectly! I know it must be hard, but it seems your perspective is right on target.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:16 am
This time next year, please write a post about chasing balls in your backyard with your little ones!
June 26th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
This made me smile. I am so happy you have this memory, so happy you get to take it to Halifax with you today. I hope you are yet weeks and weeks away from the summer’s main attraction, and that this memory flutters like a much needed firefly in your room until then.
Thinking of you and yours.
June 27th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Never have my pasty legs felt more at home than when I visited where you live.
You’ll get plenty of chances to make memories with your vertical self in the frame. This summer you’ve got some protective reclining to do.