Tue 30 Sep 2008
end of the beginning
Posted by bon under mama-baby stuff
the last day of September already.
this month brought her to us, and its close makes me sentimental, wary, resistant…as if the turn of the calendar might make her vanish, too, ephemeral, something only dreamed.
perhaps it is because she is my last baby, and i know this smallness will never be granted me again. perhaps it is because she looks a little like her eldest brother, fuzzy brown head, one eye half-cocked and peeking, and i am still and forever raw and fearful, over-protective. perhaps it is simply because it is autumn and the leaves are falling, melancholy and woodsmoke in the air. perhaps i am a mess of hormones, is all.
before she was born, i’d say quite happily to anyone who would listen that i’m not really a baby person. i love the age that Oscar’s at, love the interaction and the playfulness and the language and the give-and-take of learning limits. what i remembered of O’s infancy was mostly the months of colic and my own exhaustion, my sense of helplessness and bewilderment.
i forgot, though, that in those moments i still felt the magic of his newborn-ness, still mourned the passing of his two-week and four-week and six-week milestones, because i knew they would never come again.
my daughter will be three weeks old tomorrow. i think we have thrush, and the fatalist in me is poised to welcome colic like a bad party guest once her due date rolls around. and yet, if i could freeze these days, stay here in this weary, blurry, blessed baby state where her head smells milky and sweet and her small body curls into me at all hours, hot and soft and mewling…oh, today i would.













September 30th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
This is just beautiful, Bon.
I hear you- slurp it all up, cradle it deep in your heart, t’is the precious days, where the ends and beginnings blur into one another.
Much love to you and your little one, mama. xoxo
September 30th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
You are so right about how fast it goes. With my first I didn’t understand. I got hung up on my tiredness, my hormones, my whatever. The next thing I new he couldn’t fit snug on my chest between my chin and my lap. It made me want to cry.
8 years later, I tried so hard to live each moment with my little girl those first few weeks.
What’s that cliche’ song? If I Could Keep Time in a Bottle? I wish we could to keep moments like you describe.
September 30th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Ahh, yes, the blur. I miss it too, that obliging, cosy lump. Slurp it up indeed.
xoxo
September 30th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I’ll happily slurp those baby days (instead of the 3-year old Diva-ish days). Yeah, I’m the baby person, and not so good at the upper years in which they can use LANGUAGE to demand things.
The image of you cozied up next to her warms my heart. Finally, you have her! Sigh.
Enjoy the bliss…
xoxo
September 30th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Enjoy her smallness, because you will blink, and she’ll be a year old. Izzy’s babyhood has gone by at lightening quick speed.
September 30th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
yep, mine didn’t stay small for long, so do enjoy.
as for thrush, my new cure all is grapefruit seed extract, recommended by my ped. sounds crazy but it is a natural antifungal for you mom with no liver issues. i think you will still be stuck with a day or two of gentian violet for her though.
and btw, just for you and me, colic has been banished by the great god “baby zantac”. better than valium for moms by a long shot.
September 30th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Sigh. It passes so quickly.
September 30th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
As I sit with mine on my chest … yes…
September 30th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
i so love how full you are, how entirely at peace.
September 30th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
oh these bittersweet moments. i had them so vividly with moira, still do sometimes. never let go of them. it is amazing how time just does this. (hugs) three weeks?
September 30th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
It’s so hard to let go of that beginning. There are still days when I wish I had a time machine- so that I could revisit certain baby moments. I would love to meet The Boy and The Girl for the first time again, would love to fall asleep holding a tiny infant close to my heart.
Enjoy it Bon!
September 30th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Three weeks already? Wow.
I can’t wait for that newborn-ness! (Although I guess I will as the alternative of not waiting is full of pit holes).
October 1st, 2008 at 12:10 am
I was having some serious newborn nostalgia today. I didn’t see a newborn, no. I just suddenly remembered taking my last newborn to the grocery store when she was one week old and hearing the literal gasps from the elderly folk at the store, tears in their eyes telling me to enjoy, enjoy!
Did I enjoy her enough? I hope so.
October 1st, 2008 at 1:01 am
Bon, you are the mother I hope I can be someday
October 1st, 2008 at 10:41 am
i vaguely remember the early days with their fragile limbs and obliging bonelessness. it seems like it did whirl away and leave me sitting here, wondering when they found out they had knees and how did he know that was ice water? i too think myself done with those days, not planning on more. but i occasionally long for the feel, the feather light feel of them then. especially when bodily struggling to get their combined weight of 50 pounds off the play structure.
and, i understand if the sexy ain’t rocking it right now…i am sure when the time comes, you shall respond to my challenge accordingly.
October 1st, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Ah. . . thrush. When P and I had it, we tried the whole Gentian Violet route, and then the grapefruit seed extract route, neither of which gave us (okay — me) much relief. What DID work, however, was a prescription for a specially formulated nipple ointment. Worked wonders — I just applied it after each feeding and/or any time I experienced pain. I got the “recipe” fr the ointment from the PEI Public Health nurse assigned to me and P, and had my doctor prescribe it to me. I’ll see if I can still find the “recipe”, and if so, I’ll send it along in case you want to give it a shot.
Lisa
October 1st, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Lil’s infancy was so difficult, I felt I had little chance to ingest it and hold it, to cherish it. I’m so glad you can feel these moments, difficulties aside. They truly are so fleeting. What I wouldn’t give some days for a moment with that tiny bean of nearly three years past.
October 1st, 2008 at 5:41 pm
HOLY SHIT, BON! You had a baby while I wasn’t looking, I’ve just caught up on all the lovely, lovely, amazing posts and fantastsic adventures and wow.
Congratulations. I’m so so sooooo happy for you all. Oh, hooray. This has just made my whole day.
What a fine family you all are.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:36 pm
And this is why I’m only 80% sure I don’t want any more children… that feeling when I look at James and think “is this the last time I’ll have a wee baby who smiles for the first time, sits, crawls, laughs?”
I don’t know if I’m ready to let go of it yet. Even though I really and truly am NOT a baby person.
Good luck with the thrush. I’ve never had it although I’ve read about it and it sounds just wretched.
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:31 am
She is just gorgeous. Enjoy these days.
I found your blog via Glow in the Woods. On September 11 this year we lost our baby daughter, Alice, at 20 weeks gestation. I also had a miscarriage earlier this year. It has not been a good year for us…
But I love to hear stories of happiness and hope and of new life for people that have also had terribly sad times of loss.
I wish you all the best, for you and your family.
Take care,
Rach
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 am
I was never a baby person either. Having a second one really changed that. I see the magic now, instead of just the exhaustion.