Comments on: in the light

By: Terra-Lynn

Terra-Lynn — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:24:22 +0000

I am sorry for your loss, may you always hold Finn close to your heart.

Terra-Lynn C.
Founder and Director
*The Bear Care Campaign* *The Canadian Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness and Remembrance Movement*

By: Margaret

Margaret — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 14:28:38 +0000

What does Oscar know of his brother?

My parents lost a baby before me, and he was always rememberd, matter of factly, so the subject was never changed within our family, regardless of what happened in public. He never had a name, but we all knew he would have had my younger brother’s name, and my younger brother would have been named Michael. I never grieved him, but I always knew there was one more who was part of us.

By: Hammy

Hammy — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:25:36 +0000

I spend October remembering my grandmother – my Nan. She’s been gone 5 years now, and I still remember the first time I said something about her that was less than flattering. Nothing radical, just that she could be a stubborn, tempermental cuss when she wanted. I was obliquely scolded by someone in the room. “But she was,” I insisted. I loved the woman, not just the good parts.

It may sound cliche, but if you don’t know what sorrow is, I think your joy is diluted. To paraphrase the Eagles, when you lose all your highs and lows, the feelings go away.

And it’s my thought that just because you don’t spend your days grieving, it doesn’t mean that your son, your Finn, didn’t make his mark on you.

By: Oh, The Joys

Oh, The Joys — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:10:17 +0000

Holding you both in the light, friend.

xo,
J

By: mo-wo

mo-wo — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:48:47 +0000

I think the candle is perfect in a way. Makes me think of the Mexican Day of the Dead tradition.

And, for you on this occasion I don’t remember if I’ve said. A co-worker lost her little one last year. Her firstborn. I thank you a million times for spurring me to call her mother, just a card and a few soft conversations. Many things have spun against her and her childless motherhood. But because of you I know and made sure she knows some know what’s due. You have given this stranger that entitlement.

I flatter myself with that. But not you. Take that today, kay.

By: thordora

thordora — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:27:28 +0000

Letting go of grief, learning to be again, that every second doesn’t need to be devoted to their memory…that’s the hardest lesson.

Letting go is a double edged sword for awhile.

A candle for you, and Finn. Today, and every day.

By: nessa

nessa — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:24:32 +0000

Wow bon. I learn so much from you. This is just beautiful and moving. Thinking of you and Finn.

By: Georgia

Georgia — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 10:13:48 +0000

I will never forget his birth Bon, despite the fact that I didn’t meet him. It was such a shock, I hated being over the other side of the world while that was happening to you and Dave.
I hate that people still feel the need to change the subject, but I love that you are healed enough to cope with their discomfort and selfishness. (At first that seemed too harsh a word for such a reaction, but really, that’s what it is, an unwillingness to put themselves in an uncomfortable place despite how it might help another).

By: Lady M

Lady M — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:21:38 +0000

Bon – We remember him too, because of what you’ve written.

By: Sally

Sally — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:07:12 +0000

we don’t recognise the day here in Australia either, but we had many candles lit here last night. for our lost little soul, who we only said goodbye to eight short weeks ago, and for all the other little babies who departed far too soon who i have been reading about in these last few weeks, little finn included. now that i am in the very dark days of my childless motherhood, i shut my eyes and try as hard as i can to see happiness in my days ahead, just as you have found bon. always speak of finn, and i will always “listen” just as I will always speak of Hope and hope that others always listen to me, too. this is a lovely post. you sound like such a beautiful mother.