Fri 28 Nov 2008
at least no one died
Posted by bon under stuff stuff
[33] Comments
we were dancing.
Posey and i, on our first day to ourselves in more than a week, both of us slightly flu-impaired and grumpy but mercifully alone, the house ours, our day free from doctor’s appointments and toddlers and other civil company. she’d been kvetching in her swing, so i picked her up, grabbed the ancient cassette tape Oscar had unearthed from god knows where at breakfast time, thanked fortune that we still possess an equally ancient stereo, and plunked the sucker in. and there we were, sliding across the hardwood of the den, her a whimpering ball in my arms, me a grimly determined picture of festive joy. i was inaugurating my infant into tradition and holiday cheer; Paul Revere riding the dark days of Canadian November, shouting the holidays are coming! the holidays are coming!
we were dancing to the Boney M Christmas classic Feliz Navidad.
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i’m not entirely sure how Boney M became a Christmas classic for the rest of the world…i guess catchy kitsch goes a long way for a post-sincerity generation that prefers traditions leavened with irony. but for me, personally, Feliz Navidad became a centrepiece of all that is warm and fuzzy and delightful about the holidays the very first time i ever heard my college roommate sing it aloud.
her name was Andrea. she had a decent voice…good pitch, clear tone. her voice carried above the rest of us. and somewhere in the middle of an impromptu drunken exam-time singalong, we all trailed off and cocked our heads, eyebrows raised. because Andrea wasn’t singing Feliz Navidad as she bounced earnestly in time to the marimbas. Andrea was singing at least no one died.
i don’t claim to speak Spanish, but i knew that was a pretty Eeyore-esque take on the spirit of the season, however accidental. and i loved it.
sometimes i’m a bit of a Grinch when it comes to the holidays. i don’t like the commercialism and the pressure to spend, i’m not religious, i find putting up the tree a daunting chore. and yet, there’s something about the darkness and the snow and the lights and the forced family time – tense though it often is – that i value, that i hearken to. even at eighteen, i got that “at least no one died…i wanna wish you a Merry Christmas!” was the ultimate in frank and honest Christmas caroling. so in the years when we are lucky enough to gather without new faces missing from the tables – because with three sets of grandparents and four separate belief traditions in our immediate families there’s always more than one table for us at the holidays – i sing me some Boney M and grin and bear it all, with the help of the seasonal chocolate boxes.
that’s what i was reminding myself of yesterday, holding this longed-for daughter, safely here despite colic, despite a rough run with all of us sick and tired. a year ago, had i been able to look ahead and see us, the four of us, with our extended family still well and present in our lives, i would’ve thought, how lucky.
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i had just soared into full vocal flight when the elderly creaky tape gave up the ghost. it died, in the middle of At Least No One Died. the voices slowed alarmingly, and deepened, the old sound of stretching plastic strangely familiar and yet from another world, a lost time. then it snapped.
i was crestfallen. we were dancing. i was cheering myself up. i was introducing my daughter to one of the primary Christmas carols. i was being resilient, dammit, after a rotten couple of weeks. and then my heirloom tape…gone to Jesus. cruel, cruel world.
i tweeted my sorrow, noting that the holidays were now ruined before they even began. Josephine and i trudged upstairs, and i moped about, whistling lamentations that sounded like Boney M, the Funeral Version. she fed, and was just gearing up for one of her wailing sessions when i thought i heard footsteps on the stairs. Dave.
he had read my tweet, left work, run to the record store and purchased me a fine new CD version of Boney M Christmas, replete with disco cover art and snowflakes. then driven it home, all with twenty-five minutes flat. no gift of the Magi was ever so kind, so thoughtful…especially when you consider that he’s now doomed himself to a steady diet of Boney M over the next four weeks.
i think i already got all i wanted for Christmas, this year.




November 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Oh Bon-can you tell Dave that I just had TEARS from his sweetness?
You are one lucky woman, flu and screaming and all.
And yes. At least no one died is a pretty damn good way to look at it.
November 28th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
wow. i never get teary, but that was so fabulous
November 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
what a sweet, sweet man.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Bless the man. What a great lift on a dull November day.
I lean to Eartha Kitt’s ‘Santa Baby’ myself.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
But Posy might be too young.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
so, i think he is off the hook for the whole card thing, huh? good good man. now i have to find you on twitter. i cannot believe i have been missing your tweets. more bon, more better. happy holidays.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
You got yourself a good one, Bonnie. 3 good ones, actually.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
But I thought the gift of the Magi scenario necessarily involved the traumatic cutting off of hair. Which, even at the tender and sentimental age of 13 I realized was nothing more than a huge cheat.
Cause hair, you know, grows back. While priceless heirloom watches? Not so much.
Oh, wait. You mean I’m taking this far too literally?
November 28th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
What a sweet guy!
November 28th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
not THOSE Magi, Niobe. just the frankincense kind.
though i AM badly in need of a haircut.
November 28th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Dave is amazing.
November 28th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Aw! That’s BEAUTIFUL!
November 28th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Yay Dave!!
November 28th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
I had no problems at all imagining everything Bon. You and Posey dancing, the casettee screeching to its death, and Dave THE man flying home to rescue the day. So vivid is your writing… I loved it.
I’ve said somewhere else that the holidays wear me down. This need to be happy, chipper, and ho-ho-ho!! sometimes… it pisses the crap out of me. Winter to me is about hot chocolate, chocolate, writing journals, looking at old photos, melancholy, drowsiness… oh wait, you did not ask me that!
But, what a beautiful Christmas this is going to be for you, Bon. At least no one died… ((hugs))
November 28th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
You so totally have a good one there. Totally.
November 28th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Oh, wonderful. Wonderful, wonderful.
I think I’m always going to sing ‘at least no one died’ forever now.
November 29th, 2008 at 12:31 am
I was expecting the end of the story toi involve an MP3 or a YouTube clip. But this is better, so much better.
Happy winter to you!
November 29th, 2008 at 2:35 am
now that is love
November 29th, 2008 at 4:51 am
Great post! Good going Dave! Warm fuzzies to you all. Cheers!
November 29th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Happy, happy!
For me, the sounds of the holiday season irrevocably involve the Alvin & the Chipmunks Christmas album, which we listened to endlessly on LP as children. My husband was kind enough to grit his teeth and buy me the CD when we first got married. Feliz Navidad is much classier.
And now I’m following you on Twitter!
November 29th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
loved this post, a glimpse into the life of motherhood, a country away. loving that you danced…it is indeed good medicine.
at least no one died? lol
xoxo and peace,
leigh
November 29th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Way to go Dave! Bon, I so want to meet Posey. Angus started calling one of his trains Posey today (Molly) and I had to promise him we would met the real Posey soon. We’ve been talking to the kids about your visit…
November 29th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
What a sweetheart! You are lucky indeed.
November 29th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I’ve lost the tape, but I had Feliz Navidad on the same album as “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” and my personal favorite, “Percy the Puny Pointsettia”. Christmas hasn’t been the same since I lost it. I’ve got to find time to do a search. Keep dancing!
November 30th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Way to go, Dave!
Isaac’s been listening to Bing Crosby’s White Christmas cassette over and over again all week, and drumming along with chopsticks on a bucket.
It’s hard to feel Grinchy with a three year old in the house.
December 1st, 2008 at 1:57 am
Wow. That’s some hubby. And I love the story of “at least no one died.”
December 1st, 2008 at 9:38 pm
That is just so wonderful. If I were a teary person, I would probably be… well… teary.
“At least no one died.” I am going to sing it like that for ever and always.
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 am
That might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
And “At least no one died.” made me giggle out loud. Josh is forever butchering songs and it brings me such joy. The accidental truths of misheard song lyrics is really something.
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 am
I think that is the funniest story with the sweetest ending ever. Ever.
That song is so much better your way.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:15 am
(touch wood)
And I’m sitting here crying over Boney M. Who woulda ever thunk it?
I remember my mom (who is now 70 and forgetful) young and lithe, small hips moving on their own volition to Boney M through our panelled rooms.
And it’s funny that this post should come when I wrote exactly the opposite but that’s OK ’cause that’s how life is.
Thanks for reminding me you’re out here writing one of the best blogs ever. Your writing is ice on the window, pretty, at times hackled, always noteworthy.
Disco on mother of two, wife to a Magi, disco on!
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Sheesh. I woulda suggested YouTube or sumpin’ had I seen your tweet. A loving husband? That’s a Christmas bonus beyond compare.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
that is absolutely and totally romantic.
sigh.
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:42 am
what a sweetheart.
and just saw your sick post … you’re doing great, being their mama and helping them through the sick parts.
there will be time for the rest, dear friend.