Wed 3 Dec 2008
the camel’s back
Posted by bon under coping stuff
[38] Comments
it feels like rage.
like metaphorical acid reflux, lava-hot. it splashes up without warning, spatters out of me in mutters and expletives and tears, my face raw and shocked. i am all powder, fuse worn down to a nub.
i am fine, and insane, all in the span of thirty seconds. and when i am fine i think the insane is probably a drama queen, self-aggrandizing and blown out of all proportion. and when i am not fine i think we cannot all get out of this alive.
it is lack of sleep and the bitter loss of the happy, weary infancy i’d dared think we’d finally gotten, third time lucky. it is two weeks of asthma attacks and flu and both children up several times a night, in addition to the colic, the brutal colic, the sweet-merciful-Jeebus-seriously-who’d-i-torture-in-my-last-life colic that stomps on my last, frayed nerve and breaks my heart and makes me feel helpless and cruel, a mockery of comfort and motherhood. it is the laptop broken and the furnace rusted out all at once and all the lightbulbs burnt in chorus and the diamond earring lost raking leaves, my only diamonds, ever, gone…like money hemorrhaging, like lurking failure and chaos have found me easy prey. it is the call i got yesterday that Oscar’s ear surgery – scheduled for this Thursday – has instead been postponed to the day before Christmas Eve. because heck, when better to trek to the hospital with a two year old and infant for the day? what else would i be doing that time of year?
it is all these things, and none of them. it is that they all add up.
one last straw, again and again and again, and in my head i listen for the laugh track and hear only crickets and then the anger surges and i am awash and afraid all at once. i see red, literally. i flail, inside, look for things to throw and then despair even of that release because, fuck it everything’s broken anyway.
everyone else’s happy babies send me into paroxysms of mourning and self-beratement. the warm buzz of the early, contented-ish weeks and you deserved a break this time around has fallen silent. i did not deserve a break, after all. apparently if i can squeeze out a live baby i should expect no further mercy from fortune. apparently it is my lot to watch helpless and frayed as my children suffer, one after the other. colic is better than tubes and a ventilator and blue-black toes and death, i know. i know. and yet it all feels bizarrely similar from where i sit watching my days unravel…the useless mother, unable to comfort, unable to protect. perhaps that is where the rage comes from.
there are few witnesses, save for a screaming infant and the little boy. i hide my face from them, afraid of this ugliness, this fury. i do not want to be this way. i do not want to mark them, leave them pocked with acid. i do not want them scarred. i do not want to excuse rage as a reasonable, acceptable response. i do not want to be what i am right now.
it will end. the part of me that is fine and rational intones this. the insane part knows that doesn’t matter in the moment, unless it ends now. another month, perhaps, given that she was nearly a month early….in the grand scheme, it seems so little to endure.
but in the moment, exhausted, choked with bile, it is too much, too unfair, too big, and i wonder if the next cry or the next stupid broken household item will be the one that breaks me, and i long for a protector myself, for someone to rescue me from this powderkeg while i am still fine some of the time.
unstable/embittered but housebroken thirty-six year old, up for adoption. seeks mother. will travel. likes pina coladas and predictability. free to good home. bonus miniatures included, requiring tlc and earplugs.




December 3rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I wish we, your readers, were there with you. I only know you through your blog, but if I were nearby I would gladly spell you for a while. Is there anyone who can watch over your kids and your house while you take a day and go sleep somewhere? This seems like the moment to swallow your pride and ask for help, from anyone and everyone who’s within hearing distance.
You’re not doing anything wrong. Parents have never been able to cure/fix/protect their kids. That’s a myth left over from childhood.
The “this will pass” phrase isn’t as comforting as we all wish it were, but maybe you could try something kind of silly – check off the days on a calendar for the month of December. Actually draw an X through each day as it passes, like when you were a kid. You said it yourself – in a month things will be better. So count it off. Every day is one day closer, one day survived, one day successful.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Bon, I can’t tell you that I know how you feel, because each of us feels and experiences these motherhood stresses differently. But I can say that you are a good mother and even the best of us have limits on what we can handle all at once.
I agree with Holly that now is the time to lean on others. Even a few hours alone and rested may help to reset your camel.
I’m sending you big virtual hugs in the hopes that someone close to you will pass them on in person. If there’s anything we can do from the blogdom to help, just say the word.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Bon… first if all, BIG BIG ((hugs)) to you… and sit down. sit down on that freakin’ broken armchair and put your sore tired feet on my lap so I can rub them good. with aromatic oils that soothe and calm the ragged soul. Let me rub your shoulders and gather together all those shreds of bitter anger and exasperating fatigue in my hands and take them away. Put them in a black hole so they do not come bother you again.
All your feelings are valid. ALL valid. But they are not you. They are just feelings. Just signs that you are breathing and living with a passion, even though you are so tired. These feelings are not what you are, nor who you are, and they do not foretell. Do not compare the suffering. You need not have mutilated limbs and bleeding eyes in order to have that right to feel compassion for yourself.
I send you, all the love, and compassion you need. The rest, the quiet you yearn. I hold you, honoring your rage and anger and fatigue and bitterness. I honor your desire to just be in a crevice of quiet bliss and solitude. I offer you my home, with a fire, cold sofa’s but always chocolate and cookie available. You are welcomed, when you are frazzled and spittin’ mad; when you are happy and contented, but especially when you feel you are going out of your mind. My doors are wide, wide open for you, Bon.
It is hard. That’s how we know it will get better. ((hugs))
Much love,
Janis
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I’ve been there. I’ve been the straw, and I’ve screamed my rage at two helpless little creatures while I wept and begged for silence and sleep and maybe, something to eat.
Different circumstances, totally, but I know where you’re coming from. Do not worry. Your anger, the shouts? They will not hurt anyone-leave the room, and yell at the neighbours, kick things, clean rooms in an angry way, throw the toys back in their bins.
It’s normal, and horrible and will pass but man, right now you feel like shit and want to leave. I don’t blame you.
I’m close, but still not close enough to help-but know that if I can, I am more than willing to do so.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Hey Bon;
I hear your frustration,, different reasons, but the standing on the edge leaning over hanging on by a frayed rope kinda thing?
I wish that the next few weeks of colic pass quickly, and that the cost of the furnace is non eye-bulging. If there was something I could do to help, I’m more than happy, even if it’s to take O for a walk on my day off and give you one, rather than two children. Let me know if anything comes to mind
Did you ask to be put on a cancellation list for his ear tubes? You may get in before the 23rd that way…small comfort, but it’s something, right?
I hope you get a chance to read quietly or just sit and stare at the wall sometime soon.
*Goodnight Bush* <- hope it makes you smile :)
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
My heart goes out to you. I’ve got an infant with colic to and your words are both familiar and heartbreaking. Because I am there in it too. Granted, without a precious two year old – Ian is my only as of yet. But this colic thing? Awful. Best wishes and all good thoughts.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I don’t want to offer solutions because it always pisses me off when people do that to me. So instead, I will offer you cheesey internet {{{hugs}}}
I love you and I think you’re a great mama. And anytime you want to escape, you can come here and I will serve you all the pina coladas you want/need. :o)
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Oliver screamed and shat water for a very, very long time; those days are a blur. I’m sorry to say I can sympathize.
((you))
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
And it’s just the WORST when people say “it will pass” or “why don’t you try” because you KNOW that, you DO, and it doesn’t help one single bit! Still, I wish for you enough small victories and pleasantries (Boney M!) to get you through each minute, each hour, each day until you’re on the other side.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
If I could, I’d give you a hug and an afternoon off.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I don’t think you’re waiting for a straw, I think you’ve already been hit with dozens of em.
How ’bout a strong drink? That might help, momentarily.
Sending good meaning, but logically I know useless, hugs hon.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Ah hell. They didn’t. Who schedules a 2-yr-old for non-emergency surgery 2 days before Christmas? I mean, really, are we living among Grinches? That is SO unfair and to think it is only one of your worries. Aiiiieeeee. Wishing I could walk a child or two around the screaming block for you.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I lost a cherished earring in the yard once. Two years later I found it again.
Sometimes a good thing creeps up on you even when rage and exhaustion seem to be about to go on forever. Sometimes. Other times you keep going on pure stubbornness.
Virtual hugs — at least you have someone to write to and you don’t need to pull your punches because we have most of us been in that fugue.
My kids don’t seem scarred by the coffee cups I threw at the wall and the time I kicked the cupboard door into matchsticks and, and, and….
Useless but heartfelt virtual hugs.
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
(((hugs)))
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
To make you feel a little better about yourself, I will share a story with you. When Izzy was a few weeks old, he decided that he no longer wanted to sleep. Instead, he cried and cried and cried. Porgie also decided that she didn’t want Izzy to sleep, so when I was lucky enough to finally lull him to sleep, she would start SCREAMING and immediately wake him up.
One morning (after a very restless night), I finally managed to get Izzy to sleep. Of course, Porgie screamed and woke him up. And I lost it. I went insane. I yelled at Porgie like I have never yelled at anyone in my entire life. I tossed Izzy into his swing and gave him a vigorous push. I had to leave the room, because if I didn’t, I am positive that I would have slapped one of my children. So, I left the room, slamming every door along the way.
I went to my bedroom, shut the door, and turned the music up really loud (to drowned out the kids’ screams). I cried and screamed and cursed for a long time. I was so angry at everyone. I was angry at Izzy for not sleeping. I was angry at Porgie for being a typical 18 month old. I was angry at other mothers for having babies who would actually SLEEP. I was angry at John for always working late. I was angry with my friends for not offering more help and guidance.
I was just really angry.
Later, I felt incredibly guilty that I showed my children so much anger and hostility that day, but I think this scenario is more common than we would like to admit. We tend to think of motherhood as being filled with rainbows and unicorns and big fluffy clouds – but it is not. It is packed with raw emotions, that aren’t always pretty.
You are doing the best that you can Bon. And that is enough my friend.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
i know the words can do little right now, but i will say them anyway. it does end and it feels like it never will. it sucks, it just sucks. and if there is any possible way for you to have a minute alone, take it. hand them off willingly and take it. temporary, yes, but maybe just enough to help.
and know that i hear you, bon, though we are friends via this medium only. reading this reminded me of the early days when i felt like tossing one of my precious little screaming bundles out the window, or going there myself. hating, actually hating it, the doings of motherhood, at times. and the feelings that accompanied…and wondering why the fuck i got pregnant in the first place. and those went away. but it does suck in the midst.
wish i could send you my mom, but since i cannot i send a hug. not enough, i know.
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Holly has it right: you need H.E.L.P. Now. Please. Call. I’ll do the googling for you if you need, but you need a time out. And I’m not talking counting from 10 backwards, I’m talking an afternoon out of the house. A night of uninterrupted sleep. I know it seems extremely ironic and contrary to take you away from your kids when your brain and heart are saying “I want you now! I want to help!” but sometimes one needs to recharge or else you wind up a heap on the floor, and that’s not helpful to anyone.
Also? I’m terrible at taking my own advice. Bella never slept. She wasn’t cranky or colicky, but no naps. Broken sleep at night. As an infant. I was so tired one night I threw up from the activity of walking in her in circles to try and get her eyes to close. And everyone said “Get help!” and I thought I was just failing as a mom, and if I only read one more book, or tried one more trick, I could do it.
I couldn’t. Looking back I really loathed the first 6-8 months of her life, and swore with Maddy I would never, ever do that again. I never got a chance to try and put in practice, but I was steeled. So was my husband. So were my friends.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Bon: Yes, it does end. But it’s hell going through it. Friend, I had three tough babies, two more so than the other. But it sucked, and I swore that our 3rd time around (Moira), we’d get lucky. God certainly wouldn’t do it to us again (namely, regarding sleep). And I don’t mean to take God in vain here, as I truly believed a portion of that sentiment in respect to religion, etc). Yet, she was the worst sleeper of them all. And she’s a screamer like I’ve never heard a kid scream, at 22 months, and I swore it couldn’t get worse than it did with the others.
My only solace is the guest room in which I stick them when tantruming, and the fact that I believe from the depths of my soul they are going to be Three Smart as Hell Kids, or something. Because doesn’t a fussy, screamy personality equate to utter intelligence? Or so I hope.
Yes, it does get better. I am in jest here, a little, of course. Moira is calming down a lot, as am I. I know what to expect and when to expect it, as will you, in time. Managing multiple kids is just not easy, especially when doctor’s/illnesses are involved. Sleep deprivation is horrible. Only thing you can do is know that every day is a different, likely better one. Or hold onto the hope that lies in small accomplishments. Stay strong. Write. Vent. Find the love in between the chaos.
(Hugs) – (any way you can reschedule that ear appointment for O?)
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I too have endured the colic, or reflux or whatever the doctor of the year wants to call it, even though its all the same and all equals a screaming, crying child and screaming, crying mother. To say it will end, bah. I know that won’t help. (but it will)
You do deserve a rest, a break. A raven of lore to swoop down and stop mocking you and clean up this mess, debris. Pick everything clean and leave you and yours in peace.
Good luck.
With love.
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Bon, I felt this from you like some kind of disturbance in the force. I’ve been thinking of you in the past day or two in particular, just feeling this urgent need to talk, to know how you are, to serve the purpose of being here to receive this if nothing else.
Can I just say: what are you doing, writing so gut-wrenchingly beautiful words at a time like this? What business have you being eloquent right now, lady miss?
Anyone who says “this too shall pass” is asking to have their pants pulled up over their head. (uhhh… thinking I should perhaps read the comments before posting? ahem). So I won’t say that. I’ll only echo what Thor said: it’s okay to get mad. Think of your earliest memories – you’ve got at least two more years or so until O starts to remember the velcro wall (and matching velco toddler suit) and the leash tied to the clothesline and the noontime cocktails. Just survive, mama, and keep coming here to know you’re heard. There’s no need for grace, or even cleanliness right now. Certainly no time to have the velcro wall or the cocktails MEAN anything about you.
And I like what Tash said, too: can you get help? can you make it so that every Tuesday, you’re off? Can you screw the grocery budget and get yourself a massage? I mean it. Blog-reader’s orders.
(how obnoxious is that, when we get bossy? bah. It’s because you are so deeply and so widely loved).
xxxoxoxoxox
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Oy, Bon, oy! I’m sorry, bu this just sucks. We didn’t get the colic with the Cub (Monkey had it, so we were at the ready), but he didn’t sleep nights much at the start, and then I went to work part time, and I was just drowning. Eventually I realized that I need a day off. Thought I could cheat and do without, but some time later I gave up and I asked for it. It took a while to get it to happen, and I thought I was going to burst. But eventually JD took a day off on the day I was home, and he took care of the baby, and all I had to do was breastfeed. I was afraid that the one day thing wasn’t going to be enough, but somehow it was. Mostly mentally, since I didn’t really gain too many hours of sleep that day. A few, but not many.
So anyway you can score yourself some help? Dave? Mom? Hired babysitter? Cause you definitely need it.
The universe is fickle, and it really doesn’t owe us jack shit. But on the other hand, things that are not out of our reach, those things I think we need to grab for ourselves. (Of course I am terrible at following this advice, but I am trying.)
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Oh, Bon. I’ve had months like that this year, when my husband would come home late from work to find me foaming at the mouth and shooting daggers from my eyes and two milliseconds away from breaking down into sobs… for the four-hundredth time that day. Taking care of two children is hard, hard, hard. I personally never knew what to do with people who offered to help, because I couldn’t stand the thought of them coming over to my messy house or seeing me puffy-eyed and makeup-less. I wished for someone to take the girls for me, to clean for me, and to give me long hours of sleep, but I didn’t want anyone to know I couldn’t do it myself. I couldn’t even bring myself to blog about it — bravery points to you! Basically, I just wanted to reach a hug across the internet to you and to let you know that I understand. I do, so well, and I hope that can be the tiniest bit of relief to you.
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Hi
I’m thinking that no matter how many people try to reassure you about the emotions you are feeling you will still continue to wish you were not experiencing those emotions and to question yourself in your role as mom.
I believe my anger / frustration as a mom has often seeped out in little spurts directed at Josh (my partner). I think I’ve tended to direct blame toward him for not being an exact replica of me and / or being able to provide more support.
I wanted to tell you that I am home from work between December 22 – January 2 and you are all welcome to come stay with us. I’ll do everything I can to help out.
People say “this will pass”…I disagree somewhat…
I agree that if you work at it you can develop a consistent schedule which helps the whole family be more rested…but I have never stopped questioing my parenting abilities.
I have to admit I work full-time because I recognize I need to share the job of raising my children. I do work hard to spend as much time with them as possible and make that time quality time but I COULD NOT stay home with them full time (Although I did for their first year and would not change that and hope to take chunks of time off in future).
I think the trick to maintaining my sanity has been to give myself permission to stay healthy…for me, and in my case that means working outside the home.
Hang in there and feel free to call anytime. I would be happy to take care of Oscar for a while or Posey (assuming she takes a bottle)…I’m just not sure how I can help while you are in PEI…if you have a suggestion please let me know. I’m available any weekend. Just call.
xoxxo
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Re: changing Oscar’s surgery – I can’t believe the colossal dose of suck-ass that one is. I’m so sorry. I know you have family in Halifax but if you need anything while you’re in town, you let me know, okay? I’m around and available, even if only to smuggle a Bacardi Breezer into the hospital waiting room.
I yell at my kids sometimes. I lose my temper. I do things I’m not proud of, and beat myself up. We all do. Remember that tomorrow is another day, with no mistakes in it (yet) and just do what you need to, to survive.
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Oh, Bon. It sucks. I know about the rage, too.
I hope you get a break and some rest. Soon.
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Bon, I’m so sorry. My oldest had reflux, bad, and as soon as I read your first sentence I thought of my year with my first girl. It was bad. It was absolutely horrible, and medicating her was only half of the solution. She was still fussy and pukey and needy, and until I got on some meds myself I was boiling with rage, constantly. I needed some freaking sleep, and a period of no one needing me or wanting to touch me.
My twins also had reflux, though not as bad. And my 4th had some weird gas problem and a soy allergy. Bleh. Babies and their annoying problems, right?
You DO deserve to have things go a bit easier. Of course it never works out the way we deserve, but you DO deserve it. Just know that your feelings are justified. I wish I cold hold your baby for an evening, out of earshot, and you could enjoy some relaxing silence and a glass of wine. I know I needed it when mine were infants!
December 4th, 2008 at 5:17 am
Our colic-y time was two years ago, and I still don’t think I’m over it–I imagine that if I had a second child, my fuse would be that much shorter, because I’m still reeling from then Miss-Baby’s crazy-making, rage-inducing, soul-sucking behaviour.
It seems many of us have an inkling of how you feel, have felt it, *authorize* your misery even if we can’t do much to lift it. I wish I could lift it.
December 4th, 2008 at 7:43 am
“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life; they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads at the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our bouyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and the spirits of the people who are together on that ship.” Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Bon, this the effect your graceful and eloquent writing has on me with every post I read. Thank you.
And I wish you strength and peace to get through this most difficult time. While you and I live in the same neck of the woods, I don’t know you except through the internet, so it would be very wicked Uncle Ernie-ish for me to turn up on your doorstep and offer to take wee Oscar for a stroll on the boardwalk. But I wish there was something I could do. In the immortal words of JuliaKB – Oy.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:29 am
wish i were there to help out, i really do. of course, in my current frame of mind, i’d probably just yell, too, but hey. misery loves company, right? ;)
i’m sorry, bon. sigh.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Oh Bon. That all sucks. I remember losing it with rage when Swee’pea was a baby, and I wasn’t even dealing with half of what you are. Hugs.
December 4th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Ok, so it must be “world crap season” then because I can sure relate lately, minus the kids though (and I realize that’s a VERY big part which you’re doing such an awesome job at even if you may not think so). Can’t offer anything to help ease the burden Bon, except what I’m doing right now to kind of make sense of the madness, and that is to stop looking at the picture as “a whole”, but instead break it up into little fragments and concentrate just on the task at hand in any given moment. I find myself often repeating in my head “ok so now I’m going to deal with doing this [insert whatever needs to be done here], which is my present and what I need to get through NOW, in this moment”…because each day is the sum of these moments. Looking at the picture as a whole only serves to daunt and stall you, and make everything seem overwhelmening. This obviously doesn’t take your problems away, but it kind of helps sort out the chaos (the tangible as well as the phychological kind) during those times when you seem to be looking for the instruction booklet on just what the f%&$ it is you should be doing and how you should be doing it, but can’t seem to find it.
I definitely agree with everyone that has said you need to take some time off to “recharge” your physical self and your soul. Don’t look at it as you “getting help”. It sucks said like that because sometimes it hurts to even admit it, especially if you’re such an independant person. Look at it as others willingly “pitching in”, because ultimately our lives are intertwined with those of others and that’s what people do….pitch in. Everyone knows that you can’t just take the good. The bad exists too, and it exists for EVERYONE. Right now it’s simply YOUR turn. Obviously “turns” vary in frequency and length, but it helps to know that if you do lose it and fall off the cliff, there are people beneath it, safety net in hand, to catch your fall and help you bounce back. And that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s how life goes. It’s just how it is.
Oh and I just feel like yellig out right now “ANYONE THAT KNOWS BON IN PERSON AND CAN, DON’T HOLD BACK, JUST GO OVER THERE AND DO EVEN THE LITTLES OF THINGS BECAUSE SHE’S NEVER GOING TO ASK YOU. SHE’LL FEEL A LITTLE BETTER AND YOU’LL FEEL GOOD TO”.
Oops…. did I just break some netiquette rule and say that out aloud?!
Hugs to you Bon… you CAN do this and the fact that you are so loved is your guarantee that you will!
December 4th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
oh, bon. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I remember myself as a blur of insanely hot rage & grief when Henry has infant GERD & cried all the time, all the time, all the time. I truly could not figure out how it would ever stop.
Wish I could mother you a bit & make it all go away for an hour or two.
December 4th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I just wanted to share that my son had his ear tubes in at the QEH last year, first thing in the morning. We were in the car on the way home by noon, and he was 100% fine from that point on – there was no recovery time. Plus, he (who had at best monthly ear infections from age 1 on) – never ever had another ear infection. So hopefully you will be in and out quickly that day, and ready for the holidays.
December 4th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
(((bon)))
Anyone in your situation would feel frustrated and helpless and often angry, even without your loss. Colic is enough to break the sanest of us. With everything else?
You’re a great mom, bon.
December 4th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
no advice, because at times like these the admonition to take time for yourself can be frustrating. so, just 8 buckets of sympathy
December 5th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I would fix you something warm to drink and rub your hair.
It’s hell, Bon. I know if you’ve read any of my archives about Lillian’s infancy, I’ve been in this place. It’s hard, it’s dark, and the only things that help are more sleep and the passage of time for our dear little ones to outgrow what ails them. Hugs to you.
December 8th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I felt like this for weeks after Shaggy was born. The transition from one to two cannot be prepared for, the level of mental energy (and physical energy) it takes can’t be anticipated. It’s harder if, like me, you tend toward depression.
Hoping you get the sweet relief of sleep soon, my dearie.
December 10th, 2008 at 1:27 am
ah, jesusgod, girlie, i know it…made me sad yesterday to hear my husband comment that he was sad that it was just as hard this time around- i misheard it as him not being happy we had this little guy, who truly can be a sweet happy boy but motherofgod can be a miserable little f*ck, too- he wasn’t regretting having the bean, but still.
what i wouldn’t do for a good night’s sleep- we’re with you in misery down the coast here, love. riding the waves of rage and regret and guilt when my girl says “it’s ok, mama, don’t be angry”- dammit. there’s just so many second chances i can hope for. praying for grace for the both of us, ok? xo.