Comments on: the camel’s back

By: pnuts mama

pnuts mama — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:27:21 +0000

ah, jesusgod, girlie, i know it…made me sad yesterday to hear my husband comment that he was sad that it was just as hard this time around- i misheard it as him not being happy we had this little guy, who truly can be a sweet happy boy but motherofgod can be a miserable little f*ck, too- he wasn’t regretting having the bean, but still.

what i wouldn’t do for a good night’s sleep- we’re with you in misery down the coast here, love. riding the waves of rage and regret and guilt when my girl says “it’s ok, mama, don’t be angry”- dammit. there’s just so many second chances i can hope for. praying for grace for the both of us, ok? xo.

By: mrs.chicken

mrs.chicken — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:33:42 +0000

I felt like this for weeks after Shaggy was born. The transition from one to two cannot be prepared for, the level of mental energy (and physical energy) it takes can’t be anticipated. It’s harder if, like me, you tend toward depression.

Hoping you get the sweet relief of sleep soon, my dearie.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:26:42 +0000

I would fix you something warm to drink and rub your hair.

It’s hell, Bon. I know if you’ve read any of my archives about Lillian’s infancy, I’ve been in this place. It’s hard, it’s dark, and the only things that help are more sleep and the passage of time for our dear little ones to outgrow what ails them. Hugs to you.

By: Emily R

Emily R — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:15:17 +0000

no advice, because at times like these the admonition to take time for yourself can be frustrating. so, just 8 buckets of sympathy

By: Andrea

Andrea — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:48:11 +0000

(((bon)))

Anyone in your situation would feel frustrated and helpless and often angry, even without your loss. Colic is enough to break the sanest of us. With everything else?

You’re a great mom, bon.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:35:31 +0000

I just wanted to share that my son had his ear tubes in at the QEH last year, first thing in the morning. We were in the car on the way home by noon, and he was 100% fine from that point on – there was no recovery time. Plus, he (who had at best monthly ear infections from age 1 on) – never ever had another ear infection. So hopefully you will be in and out quickly that day, and ready for the holidays.

By: karen

karen — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:29:01 +0000

oh, bon. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I remember myself as a blur of insanely hot rage & grief when Henry has infant GERD & cried all the time, all the time, all the time. I truly could not figure out how it would ever stop.
Wish I could mother you a bit & make it all go away for an hour or two.

By: Anta

Anta — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 13:08:06 +0000

Ok, so it must be “world crap season” then because I can sure relate lately, minus the kids though (and I realize that’s a VERY big part which you’re doing such an awesome job at even if you may not think so). Can’t offer anything to help ease the burden Bon, except what I’m doing right now to kind of make sense of the madness, and that is to stop looking at the picture as “a whole”, but instead break it up into little fragments and concentrate just on the task at hand in any given moment. I find myself often repeating in my head “ok so now I’m going to deal with doing this [insert whatever needs to be done here], which is my present and what I need to get through NOW, in this moment”…because each day is the sum of these moments. Looking at the picture as a whole only serves to daunt and stall you, and make everything seem overwhelmening. This obviously doesn’t take your problems away, but it kind of helps sort out the chaos (the tangible as well as the phychological kind) during those times when you seem to be looking for the instruction booklet on just what the f%&$ it is you should be doing and how you should be doing it, but can’t seem to find it.
I definitely agree with everyone that has said you need to take some time off to “recharge” your physical self and your soul. Don’t look at it as you “getting help”. It sucks said like that because sometimes it hurts to even admit it, especially if you’re such an independant person. Look at it as others willingly “pitching in”, because ultimately our lives are intertwined with those of others and that’s what people do….pitch in. Everyone knows that you can’t just take the good. The bad exists too, and it exists for EVERYONE. Right now it’s simply YOUR turn. Obviously “turns” vary in frequency and length, but it helps to know that if you do lose it and fall off the cliff, there are people beneath it, safety net in hand, to catch your fall and help you bounce back. And that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s how life goes. It’s just how it is.
Oh and I just feel like yellig out right now “ANYONE THAT KNOWS BON IN PERSON AND CAN, DON’T HOLD BACK, JUST GO OVER THERE AND DO EVEN THE LITTLES OF THINGS BECAUSE SHE’S NEVER GOING TO ASK YOU. SHE’LL FEEL A LITTLE BETTER AND YOU’LL FEEL GOOD TO”.
Oops…. did I just break some netiquette rule and say that out aloud?!
Hugs to you Bon… you CAN do this and the fact that you are so loved is your guarantee that you will!

By: cinnamon gurl

cinnamon gurl — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:38:36 +0000

Oh Bon. That all sucks. I remember losing it with rage when Swee’pea was a baby, and I wasn’t even dealing with half of what you are. Hugs.

By: slouching mom

slouching mom — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:29:32 +0000

wish i were there to help out, i really do. of course, in my current frame of mind, i’d probably just yell, too, but hey. misery loves company, right?

i’m sorry, bon. sigh.