Tue 24 Feb 2009
torrent
Posted by bon under mama-baby stuff
[19] Comments
Originally uploaded by o&poecormier
a rough night, little one. you are on the threshold of so many things these days that sleeping – so recently finally mastered, o thing of beauty – has suddenly left us, abandoned ship. i am bereft, blurry, unable to steer a straight course with the gaping hole of its absence sitting square across my forehead.
the shreds of my mind split into two camps.
i am agog that the human race survives in spite of these hallucinatory days that seem so common as to be unremarkable.
and i am suspicious, wondering what i’m doing wrong, what false idols of civilisation i’ve blindly bought into to thus rob me and mine of the natural rhythm of things? babies in tents and camps and caves must have slept, for millenia they must have snored beside their parents and sisters and brothers and aunties and the family goats or whatnot.
i tested this theory, minus the goats.
but about four months old, you, my cosleeping nursling, began vying for the title of Most Likely to Be Voted Out of the Igloo, or Off the Island. wide awake at 3 am every night. for hours. most unhappy. so we began training you to sleep in your little cot, teaching us both to learn to rest beside each other without spending half the night awake. i thought you were the one fighting rest, Josephine. but when you finally did sleep through, i popped awake every time you sighed or cooed.
sleep is a habit, that much is clear.
i got earplugs and we spent a week in heavenly habitual peace. i’d been thinking we’d soon move you into your brother’s room. my hubris called fever down on our heads.
you scared me, little one. so hot, burning hot, suddenly, in the middle of the night. i almost left you to fuss, not realizing. then i bundled you up in my arms, recanting on all the fine sleep training habits inculcated with such strain, and your skin shocked me. almost 104 on the ear thermometer that runs cold. i was awake then, bolt upright, hands juggling medicine bottles and cool cloths and Web MD. 29 minutes for the drugs to play paper rock scissors with the fever and the drugs won and i exhaled but now it has been four days and i’m not sure we’ve slept since and there are teeth on the horizon of your gumline and baby girl, it feels a bit much, really.
teeth already. so fast.
and not fast enough, if their coming lets the sleep come back so i can trade this river of disjointed thoughts for rest.




February 24th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
And so it goes. A week of blissful slumber followed by three steps back. You’ll get back on track (and then a couple more of those pearly whites will poke through, right?).
She’s delicious, if it’s any consolation to your current zombiehood.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
If only they didn’t need to get so many teeth in that first year and a bit…
I cramp up remembering those days. I cannot imagine what it would be to parent another child when so snappy from sleep deprivation. Soldier on, good mother.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
You write better incoherent than I do coherent. Dang!
Glad she’s ok. Him, too. And the other him. And you, for that matter, ’cause you are, really. It’s all part of the process. Maybe it what keeps you from falling TOO much in love with progeny an overpopulating the world (well, that and the easy-to-forget-the-name-of operation in July!).
Hope spring, only a few short – long? – weeks away, brings respite.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I miss babies, but then I don’t cause honestly, I couldn’t do it again. For all the wonderful moments at 4am, there were far too many teeth, fevers, just plain awakes for me to not remember.
Both of mine are now in “big girl beds”. It goes far, FAR too fast. Awake or not. ;)
February 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Fast and furious teeth. Those were memorable times. I was so damn glad when my daughter turned two and we were done with teething.
oh, and the nipple biting! gads. I can’t believe I had another one after that!
Thank god for Tylenol, or what ever works for Posey.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Teething misery, oh yes. Rub whisky on the gums said my grandmother. Yeah? I was so desperate I tried it. What’s worse than a fevered teething baby? A drunk fevered teething baby. My husband decided that the whisky was best applied to his gums, on the way down his throat. Hope you are both sleeping again soon.
February 24th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Mary, my ex-MIL used to suggest the same thing and i have, in dark moments, wondered if she wasn’t right? thanks for setting me straight.
your husband, though, his plan? possibly wise.
and i notice Debbie that when i’m sleep-deprived, really sleep-deprived, the filters come off and all the big words come pouring out with nobody to shush them up and say “get back in there, you showoff!”. not so much incoherent perhaps as just vaguely embarrassing, like i’m writing for the college paper. forgive me.
i will say that i am reaching a point, though, at 4pm, where i am so tired i feel mildly drunk. almost pleasant. :)
February 24th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Laughed out loud over that last comment re: drunk fevered teething baby.
Been there. James had been sleeping beautifully for weeks and then whammo, fussy all night long again. Then 430am it went from constant sleep-fussing to full-on wailing… and fever, congestion, poor sick baby.
Finally last night he slept through again. And so will Posey. Sleep-training IS one step forward, three steps back, for months. She’ll get there, and so will you.
That faintly-disapproving expression cracks me up, even as I marvel at how much she looks like a tiny Dave.
February 24th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I wish I were there, to take a shift or two, let you sleep.
And to play with that delicious baby.
February 24th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
how about at 4 p.m. when the tired comes, you actually have a drink? i do sometimes. doesn’t really help, but i pretend.
hang in there, baby mama. time does that weird slow to faltering then it races away.
i had to laugh a bit at mary’s account of a drunk fevered baby. though probably not funny in real life.
February 24th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
We are enthusiastic proactive tylenolers, which generally worked pretty well for us, or at least enough to get us a decent night with every awake/wailing one. Actually, we found that baby Motrin lasted longer, which helps through the night.
But this isn’t meant to be advice.. I know you guys aren’t suffering for the sake of good clean unmedicated pain. And so all I can say is OMG TOTALLY and SUCKS and UGH and once again, what are you doing being such a fantastic writer when you’re so damn beat?
xo
February 24th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Not to scare you, but Izzy didn’t sleep through the night until he was ONE! YIKES!
February 25th, 2009 at 12:02 am
This is my favorite sentence I’ve read in a long time:
“i am agog that the human race survives in spite of these hallucinatory days that seem so common as to be unremarkable.”
Uh huh. Your river of disjointed thoughts is beautiful, but still, I wish you sleep.
February 25th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Yes, yes, and yes.
Shredded mind and sleeping with goats and whiskey on gums, someone’s gums, dear GOD.
I thought it was teething for months, and finally after the first one poked through he slept through the night twice, and then was back to his usual wakeful antics.
Also: Eek! Posey looks just like Oscar.
February 25th, 2009 at 1:45 am
You do write so beautifully.
I wish you some sleep.
I also wish me some sleep. I haven’t slept for more than 3 consecutive hours in several months. I blame the goats.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:59 am
You say, “babies in tents and camps and caves must have slept.” And certainly some of them, but many of them didn’t last and I wonder if in some sleep deprived stupor some of them were helped along their way. Struggling for sleep is like struggling for air. The body needs it. I wish you peace ’cause it’s no easy thing. (My oldest is sick right now and I was before. I’ve been a zombie for two weeks, remembering the three solid years of zombie I lived through and am surprised to have made it.)
February 25th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
I have wondered the same thing, Bon.
How is it that the world survived? I guess if the world was mothered by those industrious women who need exactly 15 minutes of sleep and then leap out of bed to bake their bread and hang the laundry to dry on the line, then that explains the rest. But how did MY children survive? (Because I am not that woman! And I cannot remember the first six months of my eldest daugther’s life.)
February 25th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
PS-She is just adorable and that goes a long way for forgiving sleep deprevation.
February 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
The feverish heat they give off is heart stopping. It is the only thing that can snap me fully awake in the night, an instant shot of adrenaline.