I’m an organ donar. I’m sure if Finn’s organs could have saved another baby’s life they would have asked you. and of course you would say yes. to not only have part of Finn live on, but so that some other child, some other parent, could have a happy ending.

You are being ten times kinder than I am on this subject. I am filled with rage at the horrendous way the parents are being treated by hospital staff and doctors. They always are at the incredibly shitty hospital. The stories I could tell….

They have technical wonders there beyond belief, but no heart, no soul. Jason Wallace is an amazing human being with the decency and guts to speak up and tell the world what it is really like to be there. I can’t tell you how much I admire him.

That said, I wanted to donate Matthew’s organs and asked about it before he died, but no one would take them. He was still alive and we knew he was dying and they still said no, the bastards. They always do. Not because they don’t want organs, but because they still treat bereaved parents like children unable to make decisions.

So many parents I know would’ve liked to donate their child’s organs or tissues when they are dying but the doctors won’t ask.

There is so much more I could type here, but I won’t….just know, hon, that they could have used Finn’s heart tissues and stillborn babies tissues for heart valve replacement, etc. They could have done a lot, and maybe you and others could ask them to change their policy. I know for a fact that they do it in the US. Why not here?

Trust me, after I get done with Sick Kids….they sure as hell will be doing it from now on.

Every time I hear about tragedy, I try and find something that sets these people apart from me, my selfish way to protect myself from the truth…that we are all vulnerable to it, and there we are all the same when it comes to death.

I’m keeping these families in my thoughts and prayers.

You make me see differently because you (and Kate and Niobe and others) have voiced a fuller story than the media ever could. You have allowed the parents of Kaylee and Lillian to become significant–as people whose pain and loss is a story of life, not just a lesson voyeuristically offered up. You make me realize that by not knowing these stories, we silence them and the people at the heart of them.

I’m not sure I am expressing myself well at all.

This whole story brings me to a feeling too deep even for tears. And a feeling of horrible inadequacy that I can be so frustrated with my healthy, boisterous boys.

Thank you for your thoughts on this.