Tue 23 Jun 2009
the cyborg momifesto
Posted by bon under mama-baby stuff, pondering stuff, social media meta stuff
[23] Comments
i hear it everywhere, popping out from headlines, referenced casually until it begins to smell of truth. and stink a little with the impotence and collective rot it creates.
a whiff of faint bewilderment, the fear of mortality and obsolescence. the thrill of feeling one has eaten from the prescient tree of knowledge, even if the tree is plastic, planted in sand.
our children will not be like us, it whispers. they are wired, and thus wired differently. they are beyond us, aliens of the future. sit back and watch the reckoning. wash your hands.
it is no Kahlil Gibran, this voice, cautioning acceptance and unconditionality. it is more Bradbury, laced with the pleasures and promise of the macabre. it tells us these children we’re raising are blasphemous offspring of the cultural collision of the human and the technological – beings whose integrated circuits are inherently foreign to our own, digital natives whose minds we will never entirely fathom.
in all this repeated discussion and dissection and fretting, there is one note missing.
yes, they will grow up in a digitized world. they play their games on screens, in many cases. they conduct entire relationships on Facebook. their cognitive synapses may fire slightly differently from those of us who grew up with only Candy Land. but if they are cyborg, oh my friends, do not fear.
they are no more so than we ourselves.
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if i invited you over for a playdate, if i sat you down on my couch with a coffee or a glass of water or a mimosa -whatever your poison – and looked into your eyes and said, so, hey, i’m a cyborg…i suspect you might be taken aback.
cyborg. huh, your head might shrill, as you’d politely flatten yourself against my door, eyes wide and darting, looking to grab your precious babies and run for the hills.
she seemed so pleasant on her blog. barely batty at all… and she never even talked about Star Trek, let alone cyborgs. jesus. this is worse than an Amway party. is there an eject button here?!?
i know.
but if i say it here in this ether space where we are accustomed to interacting and performing our rites of friendship and social grooming…maybe the words will not seem so alien.
i am cyborg. and so are you. precisely because of this space. we have evolved in our own lifetimes, into creatures of 20th century myth.
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the cyborg was never truly about technology. we may not yet have our screens embedded into our retinae or curliqueue wiring connecting flesh to metal and plastic, and we’re still – inexplicably – bound to the keyboard and print text…but we all of us who live out parts of our identities in front of our screens, whose lives are rich with people we know and bare our hearts to and exchange ideas with daily in many cases yet have never, ever laid eyes upon? cyborgs, all of us, creatures of the integrated circuit. and so is our parenthood.
our lives are couplings between organism and machine. our internal worlds are not circumscribed by the mere physical, and our external worlds – even and perhaps especially our days spent hands-on with the children we cherish – are not an existence solely of or in the body. this world, wherein we write and speak and interface and connect, is always present or available on the internal screen of our minds. it is a room of one’s own, even if our houses overflow with toys and dishes and no space that is ours alone.
Donna Haraway wrote The Cyborg Manifesto more than twenty years ago, now. her cyborg was, as she wrote it, a creature without origin and without innocence, resolutely committed to “partiality, irony, intimacy, and perversity.” its existence breaks down the old dualisms of nature and culture, of public and private – it exists between, a hybrid.
as we do out here, in this ether. we write representations of ourselves that are partial, constructed…simply by the very nature of time constraints and audience, we cannot write ourselves whole. thus the “us” we speak through out here is an avatar, without innocence, aware of its origin as a narrative, a story told in once upon a time fashion. we exist between the public and the private, all of us negotiating the boundaries of how these avatars interact and integrate with our flesh selves and the others in our lives. we connect. we interface. some of us pay a high price domestically for the space for self we carve out here, this intimate space where we are so often ironic and perverse. the patriarchy, Haraway cautions, is threatened by the cyborg, its bastard child, unwanted issue. illegitimate offspring, she notes, are often exceedingly unfaithful to their origins. Their fathers, after all, are inessential.
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the cyborg mother, of course, ought to be a contradiction in terms. the mother image is organic, the original origin story. but the cyborg is contradiction embodied. and the cyborg mother lives firmly in the postdigital age that the voices of doom and essentialistic difference do not realize has reached us. the digital age is as much a part of us as the technology of the telephone or the pencil. we have incorporated it into ourselves – our baby monitors, our Dr. Google, our youtube videos of our children or for our children, our networks of identity and friendship and expression and marketing. who we make of ourselves as a result will be different from the mothers we grew up with, indeed, as will our children be different from the 70s and 80s versions of self we once were.
but our children as aliens, morphing inexorably into creatures of a vaguely foreboding future we cannot conceive? nay. not to those of us out here already, living on the integrated circuit, connecting, living beyond the boundaries of our flesh and in it, holding those selfsame children by the hand.
now if only the cyborg as mother could just break down the pointless polarization of good mother and bad.
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what does it mean to you, the space to be connected, ironic, intimate, perverse? if it all collapsed tomorrow, this online world, what of yourself would you find amputated?
23 Responses to “ the cyborg momifesto ”
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February 18th, 2011 at 12:19 pm[...] in response to the irritatingly popular mythology of the digital native, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek cyborg momifesto, on the cyborg nature of mommybloggers. We perform aspects of self for each other, intimately, but [...]




June 23rd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I was thinking about the cyborg issue awhile back, musing on how our children will never know a world without immediate connection, will never have silence unless they demand it and push hard for it. And how the cyborgs of our Arnold dreams are not that which we are becoming..
and I’m good with that.
If evolution means continual improvement, the erasing of traits and parts that are obsolete, then to me, this movement, the inevitable. Stretching into an online world, become a limb or a lip of that place, I’m ok with that.
Or maybe I’ve read Earth by David Brin too much.
So long as there’s a switch I can flick to off, I’m fine.
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I would hate the switch to be turned off because I have met so many wonderful people who share my life and way of thinking. In real life, that is almost impossible.
I mean really, no one wants to admit to being a babyloss mama or infertile, or mentally ill, or having an imperfect marriage or even to enjoying sex toys. But we all fit into some sort of unique and interesting category.
It is a radical act to discuss verboten subjects in public and it changes public perception. Our children may not live in such a judgmental world if we can change the public discourse. And we can only do that on the internet, because in real life, our tribe is limited by the terror of self-disclosure.
As for our kids? Ha! They are fine and will continue to be fine. I’m not sure why everyone is so convinced it’s the end of the world that kids are on computers and cellphones. Deaf and blind children with blackberries can now safely go to school and communicate with others. Kids with LDs and ADHD can now function in schools just like everyone else with laptops that help them understand and stay organized.
Yes, some kids are bullying online or just being assholes, but does anyone really believe that these kids would act any differently without computers? Ha!
I’m glad my kid can be reached where ever he is on his cell. Cause I can also send him funny pictures of his Dad by MMS, or get silent text messages for help when he needs it but doesn’t want to look uncool in front of his friends by calling his mommy.
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 pm
amen to what aurelia wrote:
Yes, some kids are bullying online or just being assholes, but does anyone really believe that these kids would act any differently without computers? Ha!
June 24th, 2009 at 12:21 am
you kind of fascinate me.
June 24th, 2009 at 1:48 am
I think I would feel like some of my senses had been cut off. I don’t watch the news or read the newspaper. The internet is my (cliche I know) window on the world. It is my tin-can telephone to friends too far away and to people who become friends through our tinny conversations. I think I am fully integrated organic and technological, because the idea of no internet or computer is inconceivable.
June 24th, 2009 at 5:08 am
so much in this, but I only can say I find it amusing that you are writing this as I have been thinking of deleting myself off cyberspace. But I will wilt, not reading your words… coz they are not just words, they are so much more, and the connections just fire in so many unseen, virtual ways.. it’s just mind-boggling. xoxo
June 24th, 2009 at 5:14 am
I am *so* a digimomma. I tell the kids, “I don’t know – let’s google it and find out” on a daily basis. I get skype calls from customers at 11 pm, mapquest directions to their houses, and think nothing of it. My music is all digitized – and so are most of my pictures (with many many “old fashioned” paper scrapbooks to flip through). I own no phonebooks – the computer in my kitchen is faster. And though I own cookbooks, the computer is faster for looking up recipes, too. Heck, when I make hard boiled eggs for Easter, I check online to remember how to make them without cracking! Yep…it is definitely completely different from how my parents grew up. If there really exists a generation of digital natives, I consider myself one of the oldest ones (we had a computer when I was in 5th grade).
But really, I’m sure my grandparents marveled at TV, at space travel, heck – at long distance telephone calls. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s a true cliche, and a cliche that’s true.
And though I plurk, twitter, skype, email, blog, mapquest, fandango, and google, I still love to sit for hours with a good “old fashioned” fantasy fiction book and read myself into a world of imagination. And we will be tent camping in the mountains for 4 days this summer sans technology – and I’ll love it! I’ll also turn off and tune out when we go on a 3 day cruise this fall.
So I can’t tell you what my life would be like without technology any more than I can tell you what my grandchildren’s lives will be like when they eventually exist. But like the song in “Wicked” says: I’ve been changed for good.
June 24th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I try to keep my life in human form as much as possible. For my time to be spent on the people living around me, rather than those who only exist on a screen.
I struggle with the old idea from my parents that you’re probably familiar with, that watching too much tv (insert staring at a screen) is bad for you. Get outside and play. I say the same thing to my kids.
Generally it’s thought that the relationships formed in person are more important and valuable than those formed on a computer screen. I’m not sure I agree with that entirely. There are people I would miss if the plug were pulled. They’re all people I know in the flesh, but would have never formed a friendship with had it not been for places like this.
June 24th, 2009 at 11:04 am
I feel a constant struggle. This online life pulls me in, pulls me away from my “real world” obligations. I think if it all collapsed, I’d grieve, but at the same time be liberated. Maybe I could finally make some progress in my “career.”
This was a really interesting post, bon. You are so good at putting things into words. I liked this bit, especially:
I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you are so right. I really have no physical room of my own at this point, and any time I take for myself is really borrowed from my other obligations. (Ugh. Like this time, when I should be working.) But as I do other things for other people, I find my mind running back to this online world: composing posts, thinking up amusing post titles, thinking about the people I’ve met online. And of course, I’m always trying to get back online for just a “quick look.”
June 24th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
being on a borrowed computer i can’t comment the way i normally would, but great subject.
June 24th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
This is intriguing. I’ve been tossing around & re-working a post about this cyber world we are in, that is becoming as real as real. Don’t we all refer to bloggy virtual friends as friends? Reference them IRL, and know that ppl that are not in this world would think we were nuts for calling them friends? And yet it is a huge part of life, bringing emotion and caring and connection just as Real Life. Nice post…
June 24th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
HA! I started arguing with you before you even had a chance to present your argument (which was so much more eloquent than mine…shit!) but I was shouting the same. Here we are, already fused! Cyborg-freaks! Over here!
I started this whole blogging journey so resistant to what I was becoming a part of. I have been assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Shit! I can’t leave.
June 24th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
I think I could walk away tomorrow and not look back. I think. But, I’m a hermit of sorts. The interaction sometimes makes my skin itch, and there is so much white noise in this space I feel deaf. But, I will say this…I did not write as much, enough, sometimes at all until blogging, and for that, for that I would be missing blood and bone without it.
June 24th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
this space? this space has given me friends, people who i wish lived down the street from me. it’s made me feel less alone, more connected, less crazy, more whole.
June 24th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
If the online world were gone tomorrow I would be without ready answers when random questions come up, without recipes specifically to use an odd item or two, without super-fast research options for my thesis, without news that doesn’t rely on paper or tv.
But what I’d miss the most is the blogs: the connections I’m just beginning to form; the perspectives I may not have considered; the more eloquent renditions of thoughts I have; recognising pieces of me in another; keeping alive parts of who I am when there is noone nearby in my daily life who shares those parts.
I would, of course, adapt and adjust. I may go out more again, even though I find it requires Herculian efforts with a toddler and baby, and conversations are so broken that it often feels pointless. But online is available when I am – the random moments here and there.
As for presenting avatars, is this not what we do to some extent IRL? I have ‘known’ some people for decades and never gotten past their avatar. Others have opened a window to their soul from the first time we met. It is like that, too, online. Undoubtedly, nuances are missed, the ever-informative body language is absent. But the words we write give indication of some aspect of who we really are. It may not be all of who we are, but that does not make it any less real.
June 25th, 2009 at 12:20 am
i mostly just speak outloud, sometimes to no one at all. but if it were to crash down tomorrow i think what i’d fear more than the silence is to simply not feel heard.
i am caught in between. love hate. dark light. eternally the exhibitionist wallflower.
June 25th, 2009 at 4:16 am
When my kids were younger (they’re now 7 and 5) I really needed the conversation with my blogging friends. I needed the outlet and the comraderie. Now that they’re older, it feels less essential. Or maybe it’s not that my kids are older, but that most of my original blogging friends have closed up shop. Three years seems to be people’s limit for keeping up a blog…
I work 3 days/wk telecommuting via computer and never once thought of myself as a cyborg. Ghost has come to mind, though!
June 25th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
i actually do think a lot of us – probably not me – could walk away tomorrow and not look back…for a bit. people do it all the time w/blogs & twitter, go on hiatus, come back when the need strikes. but i think it is the need itself that has become internalized, the capacity for communication with an Out There, the knowing that Out There exists even if one does not use it all the time.
how many of you are writing tweets or posts in your head as you go about your lovely mundane days, even your fully unplugged days?
to me, that is being cyborg.
June 26th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Well, I’m much younger than most of my cyborg pals, so I grew up in this technological age.
I met my husband ONLINE at age 13. We flirted and dated online. Now we chat about dinner over Facebook while he’s at work.
I email my pediatrician. I send her photos of the kid’s conditions (N’s rash, K’s staph infections, ect). I email her to let her know K is having an episode.
I’m more likely to email ANYONE than talk to them over the telephone (who can use a telephone with kids around?). I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people I can’t contact with via the computer, which means I’m closer to many online friends than the 3 dimensional kind. Schedules just never match up anymore…it can be 6+ months before I am able to see a friend. This doesn’t even tackle blogging or Twitter.
As dependent as I am on this technology, my kids will be more so. They can’t believe we didn’t ALWAYS have the Internet, or that there was a time before EVERYONE had cell phones. K and I were looking at a textbook the other day and she said, “WOW! It is like a computer where you turn the pages!”
Cyborgs? Yes, we are.
June 26th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
“WOW! It is like a computer where you turn the pages!”
Kyla, that blew my mind. and made me realize that no matter how integrated i am with my technology, my literacies will always be print-first…in the sense that that is what i see as primary or foundational. for the next generation, even that will be different…which i suppose IS that kind of significant shift that some of the pundits like to go on about. so maybe i’m wrong about them not being Other. except KayTar hardly seems like something out of a Bradbury story. :)
June 26th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
The funny thing is, we don’t even have Kindle or any other book-as-computer interface. It was just one of her little observations. Maybe it was the type of information (bones and their proper names, diagrams of the skeleton) she is more used to seeing on a computer screen? I’m not sure, but it made me think, wow, this next generation is even more plugged in than mine has been.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Haraway’s Cyborg is nearly 20 years old? Good gracious.
I haven’t read anything recent by her and wonder how she would interpret it now with the knowledge of the internet… I tend to think that the codification of patriarchy exists as much if not more in the digital world than in the flesh and blood world.
…..
I’d miss the only journal I’ve kept without fail.