I had a nanny for a while, until the girl was old enough for the daycare I wanted to use. She then went there for three years, and it was awesomely wonderful. Really, a terrific experience.

Wow! Your ability to describe this journey astounds me. For me it was the separation anxiety we suffered at when we started care at 13mos. Unfortunately, changes just keep coming. Thankfully most experiences are much easier on our hearts.

That surprise would have shaken me dreadflly too. I am so sorry this has taken away from your excitement at landing that job. It’s awful. And they handled it horrendously (sp?). I am glad however, that you are still willing to give it a little time.

Our care situation: my son just turned 4. His daycare is good. He is in 3-5 year mix. 75% are leaving for kindergarden this summer. They are all getting “good-bye” books. He keeps asking me when his last day is going to be. I may stage a party for the meager few who are staying…

Good luck with it – sounds like progress is being made. Did I miss the news about a new job?? If so, huge congratulations!!

It is really hard with childcare to know when to say something and when to be quiet and roll with it – even little things about how family/friends babysit, let alone how ‘professionals’ run their childcare business. I had an issue with our childcare when the baby started this year, and if I wasn’t already so pleased with how they had dealt with our toddler I would have left over it. Instead, I wrote a detailed email to the person directly responsible, specifically outlining what I liked about their care as well as my concerns and how I expected them to be addressed, and then followed it up with a good conversation. For me, it helps to write it first, as sometimes I get a bit overly emotional when it comes to talking about any concerns regarding my children, and I didn’t want to do something foolish (like burst into tears or be alienatingly critical of the carers).

I think it is important to notify the center of your issues, if for no other reason than to provide them with the opportunity to respond well and restore your faith in them. Plus, if they don’t have a good enough response then you really will have a clear indication about what to do. It is also being a good customer – perhaps they’ve unintentionally upset others, too, with similar instances of poor communication – by telling them you’re giving them important information on how to make their business even better.

i plan to do pickup a little early tomorrow afternoon, after he’s been there a week, and check out the classroom for some age-appropriate adjustments and gauge whether the fit seems better. i’m hoping it does, as – like i think i mentioned – both the teachers and the location are great and we’d like this to work out.

if not, i think i’ve found a day home sitter for Posey where it so happens a lot of O’s friends from babyhood are still going. so if we pull him we could put the two of them together in one spot and he’d still have a larger peer group than he does now. nice to feel like we have some options, at least.

Every time his six month older classmates were moved up to the next room, we would suffer through months of a sad boy; he got to play with his particular friends during afternoon free play, but most of his day was spent with kids he couldn’t really interact with in any meaningful way. He asked me every day when he’d be moving up to the next room. Even the teachers admitted that he should be moved up early. The director of the centre refused to bend despite several meetings, and this played a major role in my eventual decision to try and work from home rather than keeping Isaac in daycare (and maybe having the same issues with James).

This is a long rambling diatribe without any useful advice in it, but let me say this – give it a little time and see how O (and you & Dave) adjust. If he still seems unhappy and the school is unwilling or unable to address it, be wary. How they handle your very legitimate concerns will tell you a lot about how they will respond to any future issues with O’s care.

Good luck.

I’ll be quiet now!