Comments on: amygdala

By: JuliaKB

JuliaKB — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 05:11:13 +0000

I’ve just spent most of the evening catching up on you, ever since I dropped off the face of the bloggy world back in March. I wanted to say something on nearly every post between then and now. Short summary– you rock, and you provoke thought, and you write beautifully. And I am a schmuck for letting myself get behind.

Here… following you into your amygdala, I am reminded of something I thought I left behind in the early months of bereavement– the what ifs, the comparing of the experiences. The pang of longing for fingers curled on fingers, a thing we never got to experience, but against that– the punctured chest. And the conclusion, same as it’s been since those early months– there’s just no way to win at this.

I probably said it before, but I’ll say it again– I am sorry your early experience of grief was so isolating. And I am sorry you had to walk such a hard path from there to integration.

Thank you for writing about Vicki and the book. I am putting it on my list, and giving it priority there.

By: Tiff

Tiff — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:56:56 +0000

I bought the book and read it in two evenings. Thank you so much for the recommendation.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:24:26 +0000

The capacity we have to love is only matched by our capacity to grieve. And that is one of the mysteries of life.

I know this time is hard.

Blessings to you.

By: Betty M

Betty M — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:16:04 +0000

I had read about Evan when he died but I hadn’t seen Vicki’s blog or her writing on Literary Mama. I have spent the last hour reading both with tears coursing down my face. Thank you for linking to someone who writes so well about grief.

By: ex-ex-alien

ex-ex-alien — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:12:05 +0000

Our 2nd born made it through after several days on the oxygen mask and several more in the incubator. I haven’t been able to make it through a day since she was born back in February without thinking about this period of time, and knowing that she was one of the lucky ones.

I read today that about 40% of women here in Japan who have been pregnant have experienced at least one miscarriage. I’m unsure of the statistics of post-natal deaths, but this is something that needs to be discussed more openly. Thank you as always for your openness and honesty.

By: Kyla

Kyla — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:34:06 +0000

This post knocked the wind out of me, Bon.

I think I will be picking up this book when I get a chance.

By: JoC

JoC — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 06:35:38 +0000

Thanks again for the recommendation. As I am short on cash I looked for it on my library’s website. I couldn’t find it and was so inspired by your post that I filled out their suggested purchase form on their website. I am happy to report that they replied immediately saying “Thank you for your interest in our collection. This book is already in the process of being ordered.”

By: Jacinta

Jacinta — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 21:17:26 +0000

Bon, would you believe I am waiting on it from Amazon? You are the second blog that has highly recommended it to me.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:29:12 +0000

I was allowed to keep my early boy, despite the direness of the predictions. (He is upstairs, now, exhausted, after working a long day despite flu). I am constantly aware that I am one of the lucky ones.

Whatever the outcome, the feelings are shared. There but for fortune. Truly.

By: kelly

kelly — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 18:58:42 +0000

I am definitely going to find that book. Your friends sounds incredible.