Comments on: sleight of hand

By: Betty M

Betty M — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:58:43 +0000

Weeks late to this no doubt because of the clutter & unwashed dishes and unfolded laundry in this house. You reflect the position of so many of us so well

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:41:02 +0000

“i want to walk into this garden and fall down and sleep for a week.”

I hear you. Thanks for the compelling post.

By: BHJ

BHJ — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:21:20 +0000

Love so much the question dangling on the end about the masquerade. Me too. Can’t the hurly burly be transformed by the dream of quiet? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m dreaming. I’ll keep dreaming.

By: JoC

JoC — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:44:39 +0000

Thank you for this but especially for “we are horses pulling against each other, each of us headstrong and easily wounded”

By: Janet

Janet — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:28:03 +0000

You know, I have gotten pretty good at ignoring the mess and chaos. Except when I have PMS and then the house tornado makes me skin feel too small, my voice feel too shrill.

I don’t know when it will start to feel easier, this balancing of life and work and mothering, but it has been a decade and it hasn’t happened yet.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:16:55 +0000

Me too, me too!
Here’s my trick for trying to stay partially, pretend-sane: I keep the two main rooms of the house tidy (or at least I try)–the kitchen and living room. As for every other room in the house, I move through those real fast with my eyes shut. Karen

By: bobbie

bobbie — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:04:58 +0000

Do you feel that you’ve struck a chord?? It never ceases to amaze me that I once had a life that used to be anything but cluttered and manic and there are times when I yearn to go back to those days of everything being in its place, instead of the piles of crap, the endless list of things to do/get sorted that we have now.

I’m getting better at just breathing, letting go a bit and then, every now and again, blitzing the crap out of all the mess we four seem to creat in the routine of our day to day lives.

By: Alison

Alison — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:38:46 +0000

Oh Bon, I love this. You express it so much more lyrically than I ever could.

But I too feel weighed down by the drudgery, by the mess. But my man says I have ‘unrealistic expectations’ about how a house should look, that all families live like we do with the fluff and the wrappers and the crumbs and the muddles and I should stop looking at glossy interiors magazines. He’s probably right. I know some people can do it but I don’t know how.

You gave your children a party to remember and that’s what matters.

By: mamatulip

mamatulip — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:26:44 +0000

it feels like a yoke, this constant cycle of menial drudge stuff. it is the thing that weighs me down, frustrates me, leaves me sharp and shrill and dreading the transition from work to home everyday.

Yup. I hear ya.

By: Judith Naegle

Judith Naegle — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:17:27 +0000

They say that man is mighty,
He governs land and sea,
He wields a mighty sceptre
Over lesser powers that be;
But But a might power and stronger,
Man from his throne has hurled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle,
Is the hand that rules the world.
Strickland Gillian

You all are doing the most important work in the world of loving, training, and raising the next generation to carry the torch. Is it easy? NO! Is it always worth our efforts? NO! Are we assured it will turn out the way we invision it? NO! Will there be disappointments? YES! Trials? YES! Messiness? YES! Heartache and sorrow? YES!

But it’s worth it because it is the right thing to do. It builds your personal character and sets the example for those little feet that follow. It has been said that “A father works from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.”

Our world is one of duality. To know light we must know dark; to experience joy, we must experience sorrow; to appreciate order, we must walk in clutter and chaos; but out of chaos comes extreme clarity and enlightenment.

You’re in a “season” of life that will pass far too quickly. Your honesty is refreshing and real, and it creates a powerful forum for others to find respite, comfort, and encouragement. None of you are alone in this journey. One day you’ll wake up and realize that it’s your youngest child’s 30th birthday, like I did last May.

So, as an older “sister” to all who has raised 4 boys and 1 girl, let me offer my unsolicited advice:

1. Become an observer of situations, not a reactor.

2. Be aware of facts as opposed to the story you create about the facts.

3. Learn to be present in the NOW. It’s really all we have, and it changes from moment to moment.

4. Really listen to your little ones. Appreciate their view point. Honor their feelings as little human beings, then you will not have regrets for not nurturing, or loving enough.

5. Refrain from indulging their every want. Set boundaries as you speak in gentle, yet firm tones. Make sure they experiene the consequences that fit the situation so they can grow up to be responsible adults and good citizens.

Proceed in peace and confidence and realize that all is in divine order and that perfection is truly the imperfection of life, for that is how we learn, how we grow, how we become better in all areas.

Writing is a way of sifting, sortin,g, healing, growing…. keep it up.

I don’t know if I can ever find my way back to this site since I was crawling around links…God bless you all on this adventure called life…