Comments on: the fire escape

By: Jenn

Jenn — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:32:43 +0000

I’d be the last to offer any sort of well thought advice, I am just reminded of the quote:

“Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.”

I guess you have to decide which is which.

Best to you, over the miles.

By: Betty M

Betty M — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:14:08 +0000

I’m glad you are consisting both options. The city is possible with kids and jobs etc. Obviously you get less of the big outdoors but you get other stuff. Do bypass suburbia though worst of all worlds.

By: anymommy

anymommy — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:36:54 +0000

I am so impressed that you even have a plan and know that you want something after these little life changers, the where feels like the easy part, except that I know full well it’s not.

By: Ranae

Ranae — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:40:19 +0000

Love your writing and have been following since I had a babe.

I went to McGill for undergrad. You will love it in Montreal and so will the kiddies!

By: EarnestGirl

EarnestGirl — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:54:16 +0000

we did the leap of faith. all the way across the country with nothing but love and the seat of our pants. No real $$, no jobs, no family. I do not look back, but for my mother. My daughter, born out here far from my dearest friends, my mother, my network, grew up with only visits from her beloved (& so good for her, for eachother) Grannie & then Grannie was gone. That is my only regret. Is it fair to share it with you? Certainly it would be better if we were having a long conversation. A glass of wine. Tea on the porch.
You are only talking about a finite time, and a manageable distance.
The onest truth is, I do not think you should listen to any one of us. But to your heart. It will guide you, it will. Kate is quite right about that. Gather the information, listen for the click. If it never comes, do the one that makes you feel happiest. Don’t think too much more than you feel.
Bon courage!! You’ll be just fine either way. You can write this: “and your body sweeps up its baby like a missing piece” –
have talent and smarts galore. And love.
Which is everything.

By: bon

bon — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:26:24 +0000

thanks, guys, for all the real advice, your stories of where you are and how that’s working and wins and losses, both sides. with every one i go, yes! oh wait! shit! there’s that…

the meeting with UPEI went really well, was really positive. and i just got back from the absolutely fabulous annual international potluck run by our International Students society. it was our little university at its best: students from all over leading a wicked evening of food and entertainment, some with their whole families there, lots of local students in the mix, our president and his partner enjoying the evening and dancing. reminded me that i don’t actually always have to travel for a little taste of the world.

that said, even though it’ll involve investing in two relatively different proposals, i think i’ll apply to both. i don’t want to close the door on either yet. and i have a few friends of friends in Montreal with little kids whom i need to touch base with, find out if the childcare situation really IS possible. that would make a huge difference.

why the Ph.D? partly b/c if i stay here, i’ll always be profoundly limited without it in terms of most of the things i want to do, and those for which i wouldn’t need it are very hard to come by (see my federal job shot last spring). partly b/c academia has always kinda felt like the place i’d end up, the natural place for me with my love of theory. i’ve worked in universities for 11 years now, doing other people’s grants, teaching sessionally. just feels like, hell, why not play on the A team?

i’m not giving up any great security to leap into this, either. i feel the need for a plan and this is the one i’m most likely to control…

By: Traci

Traci — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:55:19 +0000

I’m in the “why phd?” camp. Does it make the job you really want to do possible? What is the job you really want to do? Where would you have to be to do that job once you got it? Would that job pay enough to keep living in the city?

The dreamy me says “Cool do it” to all of your options, but seems like now’s the time for a Rory Gilmore Pro/Con list. : )

Good luck!

(And Jesus would probably say go to the place with the most people where they don’t know you, throw yourself into your work, save them all or die trying. Then come back and do it again. ; P )

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:16:11 +0000

My husband, two kids, aged almost 3 years and almost 9 months and I live in Vancouver. Both sets of families live on PEI. It’s a mixed blessing, being so far away. Mind you, both he and I have not lived on PEI with any longevity since 1989/90, so it’s a bit different. Pros: we’re far away from family politics; there’s no (good or bad) meddling from parents who use good old-fashioned 1970s Dr. Spock theories on children, and finally to be totally and utterly selfish, we do not have to succomb to guilt about having to attend compulsory Sunday dinners, as well as convincing certain family members at said dinners why we don’t believe in Christening our children. Cons of living far away for us: won’t know extended family as well as they would if they lived on PEI-actually that could be a pro in some instances. Oh, and no free babysitting-big con.

As trite as it sounds…follow your heart. Keep in mind,if you are really wanting to make the move, now’s the time to do it, before the kids get entrenched in school.

By: JoC

JoC — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:24:06 +0000

Whoo. That’s a doozy. I often think of the comment of elderly people – that they regretted what they didn’t do; not so much the things they did. No family housing or university daycare??

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:26:25 +0000

I don’t have any advice. I can tell you my method of making life-changing decisions, though. What I do is, I figure out who I am most jealous of. Really! To put it more positively, I figure out whose life I’d most like to borrow for awhile — or what elements I’d like to borrow.

I wish you luck!