I think some of it is how someone is raised and part of it is their own nature and whether they are more easily given to violence. Nature and nurture together.

he made me think, which isn’t a bad thing.

it is a challenge, to know how to go about teaching and modeling that aggression is not the best means to a desired end. we have had challenges in the boys’ classroom, it is stacked with 9 boys and 2 girls and some of the boys are rough and from models of behavior that say ‘don’t hit’ in an offhanded manner (their parents).

i have had a hard time feeling comfortable as the boys come home complaining of mean kids and that makes me sad. they mainly keep to themselves and that was not really the aim for putting them in so-called social settings. and a part of me wants to smack down the kid smacking mine, you know? but we speak of the emotions they feel and are trying to stick it out, the teacher realized the issue and called in more help and tomorrow is a work day for me so that i can see how it is going…

but it is hard to know just how to approach this. i need that book stat. :)

perhaps i’ll write me a children’s book called “The Snakeskin Shoes” about a boy who kept hitting people. hmmm.

Bon, you say you have little to offer, but this one does matter. This is a long, interesting important conversation. About how we teach our kids to draw their boundaries in the shifting sands of life’s social / moral / everyday choices. Not so much good guy / bad guy as it is Betty / Veronica. Asking for what you want / getting what you need.

In terms of my experience of child rearing in action, we taught & modeled talk don’t hit. We read all the anti-bullying literature, the social stories and Franklin tales, we sang all the songs of inclusion. But in the hard core hallways of teendom, the boys in the snakeskin boots & the girls with Veronica’s wiles are in charge. Sometimes talking will just get you hit.

Sometimes listening will lead to opening your wallet at the front door when you don’t mean to, sometimes not knowing how to slam a door leads to places you never intended to be.

I am talking in circles. I think what I am trying to say is that you are doing a good job. Trust your instincts & teach them to trust theirs so that they will know when the time comes which to choose, the fists or the words.

right now he’s three and hitting is inappropriate. When his brain gets capable of understanding things that are abstract then talk about it. And really do talk about it. In the end the peacemaker is the one called blessed even if the big guns are winning.

I’m COLLAPSING over this. I don’t know which made me laugh harder, the 2001 mullet or the monkey FB picture.