Thu 8 Jul 2010
i got some things that are beautiful
Posted by bon under milestone stuff, social media meta stuff, stuff to be done
[28] Comments
we went away for a week and i was mostly offline and i did not die.
yes, gather round, all ye internet hordes, and quiver at my testimony. i unplugged and lived to tell the tale.
here’s the shocking part: it was easy. hell, i didn’t even flop around on the ground like a dying carp, gasping for wireless. i expected to. i was ready. Dave was under strict instructions to carry me up the hill to civilization anytime i was noted typing notes into thin air. but no signs of withering or requiring plug-in were forthcoming.
instead, we both wandered up the hill and online from time to time to connect with our magical worlds and responsibilities out in the ether. but mostly, we hung out below. played cards. walked on the beach. had a bonfire. in the early mornings, normally reserved for mobilizations that small military juntas would envy, we lounged in jammies teaching Oscar how to play Junior Monopoly. Posey stacked the little property houses and the sun sparkled on the water. only the birds tweeted.
apparently Oscar has a knack for property acquisition and his father and i had better be good to that kid or we’ll find ourselves renting our own bed from the wee robber baron oh, say, next week.
but other than the shame of being soundly beaten in a competitive arena by a four-year-old and the mortification of having Dave actually notice me care that i was losing to a four year old, i remained hale and hearty throughout.
it was too easy. i am suspicious.
***
i don’t believe in the great divide our culture tends to build around that which is technological in its origin or medium and that which is not.
living in a much-hyped “digital age” means we inevitably also live in the midst of a discursive backlash against the digital, a sociocultural conversation positioning whatever is not digital on the side of the pure and the unchanged. i don’t buy it. no, i did not put unplug and find myself suddenly living a life to make a Disney Princess eat her heart out, bluebirds perched on my shoulders and wholeness and wholesomeness magically within reach.
both versions of that not-quite-Cinderella story are lies. the prince is not an iPad. neither is it a world with only rotary phones and singing birds.
to me, the “digital age” is not about the technology at all, but about people. we fool ourselves in emphasizing the so-called digital nature of contemporary society: we are post-digital already. we have been for years.
post-digital is not “after digital,” but “after the digital becomes commonplace.” the technology has become so omnipresent that we need to start looking beyond its novelty and allure to the human practices it enables and limits and shapes. we are not going back, barring cataclysm, to whatever pastoral analog version of society people’s selective memories like to cling to. but so long as we remain focused on the digital trappings that mark our society as visibly different from its predecessors, neither do we move towards any cultural maturity in this new form.
we are the equivalent of a 40 year old woman still enraptured by the oh-my-golly of her training bra. it ain’t cute anymore. and it’s getting limiting. if we actually want to mature into the possibilities of this new form we’ve taken, we need to focus past the sparkly bits on the surface and invite others to do more than snap our straps.
the part of post-digital life that seems hardest for some of us enthusiasts is boundaries. we have opened ourselves to community and connectivity and near 24/7 availability and presence and persona, and in the end, there are only so many hours in a day and so many followers and friends one can do anything meaningful with. yet going offline makes us sweaty. who are we without our appendages, our screens?
then we do it and it feels…perfectly normal. occasionally irksome, sometimes pleasant, momentarily – if we are lucky – extraordinary. like life. rather like i feel if i go braless for a morning: wouldn’t want to try to go to work that way, but it has its moments. most of which are about other things, particularly those things with small hands who clamour Mommy! Mommy! and make me long – lovingly – for the civility and distance of twitter interactions. until the laughing starts, and then i’m hook, line & sinker, never known anything in flesh or screen so beautiful as them.

i did hear more birds at the beach, and their songs made me breathe deep and slow in a way i’d forgotten to for far too long. and the radio silence meant there was more time and energy for internal things. social media is performative, and it never sleeps. nobody can entertain thousands of people a day without downtime, even in very tiny increments…not over the long haul.
still, had there been wireless at the cottage, i might have birdshit on my MacBookPro right now, people. and i suspect i’d still have found balm for my soul in the journey to the shore.
i’d like to test that theory again. soon.
***
how do you pace your relationship to the online world? do you go offline? does it make you anxious to be unplugged? or does being a cyborg make you feel a little dirty sometimes? what would a post-digital society look like, for you?
28 Responses to “ i got some things that are beautiful ”
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Trackbacks & Pingbacks:
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Trackback from WeJustGotBack (Suzanne Kelleher)
July 9th, 2010 at 7:55 am
Love this post by @bonstewart about unplugging on vacation. [link to post] -
Trackback from budtheteacher (Bud Hunt)
July 9th, 2010 at 9:43 am
“so long as we remain focused on the digital trappings that mark our society as visibly different from its…” [link to post] -
Trackback from grlballr (Girlballer)
July 9th, 2010 at 10:05 am
RT @WeJustGotBack: Love this post by @bonstewart about unplugging on vacation. [link to post] -
Trackback from ctscho (Carmen Tschofen)
July 14th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Resonance? PLN “cult” http://bit.ly/anppBC, focusing “past the sparkly bits” [link to post] & early musings http://bit.ly/bzIWvB




July 9th, 2010 at 1:40 am
I, too, occasionally go offline. I need to. Working in IT for 10+ years has given me a mixed feeling toward technology. One one hand, I am in constant wonder of it. The things one can do with it are mind-boggling. On another hand, I’m sort of . . . meh . . . about the whole thing. Been there, done that.
One yet another hand (you can Photoshop that one in nowadays), I hate computers. Mainly because, with the exception of my own, every one I touch is broken in some manner, or doesn’t work the way it should (even though it works the way it is programmed to).
I never unplug for long. Mostly a day or three. Just to remind myself that it doesn’t really matter if I know who played Jawa #3 in A New Hope (Rusty Goff, by the way; pulled from my memories playing Deniro on road trips), even though I can find that out in a few clicks on the internet.
Technology is here, though, and we are, despite the grumbling of the few, all the better for it. Yes, bad comes with the good, and you get mooks like Perez Hilton breaking the 911 dispatch call center in New York when he tweeted asking someone to call the police for him (tweeted from his phone, mind you). But the good far outweighs the bad.
We can cure so many more things now, and in less invasive ways, because of technology. We are closer, today, to understanding the very nature of the universe, life, and everything else, than we have been since the dawn of the species. Because of technology (and yes, some very, very unique brains).
Technology is a tool, nothing more. It is the people who use it that make it what it is. It’s just like anything else. You hear about the bad sides of it because that sells newspapers (well, hits on a news site, anyway). The people at large don’t care that the LHC is going to help us find, for all intents and purposes, God. They just care that it will create a black hole on earth, and potentially destroy everything we know (it won’t).
I find that most people who grumble about technology, and pine for ‘simpler’ days, only grumble about the parts of technology that they don’t understand. But when their airbag goes off in a collision, they love it.
July 9th, 2010 at 1:57 am
I’m somewhere between thinking my online world (and the people I have met) is the greatest thing I have encountered since iced tea and the quite different feeling that it is THE major distraction from my real life.
While I find it flattering for you to put your twitter friends in the same sentence as the birds on the beach and the kids playing in the sand, we all know who is really the second banana, don’t we? Like it should be. I sometimes forget that in my own life. And I think that is unhealthy. It does make me anxious to be unplugged at times, and that really bothers me a lot.
July 9th, 2010 at 8:21 am
I guess I’ve stopped pretending that people I meet and talk to here or on twitter aren’t part of my real life. They play second fiddle to my family sure, but so do all my friends. I check in online the same as I would pick up the phone to call a friend.
My time online may distract me from my family, but not from my real life.
July 9th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Great post. I wonder though if you’re speaking from a place of digital privilege. (Where, as a matter of disclaimer, I would also locate myself.) I’m not crazy about the bra metaphor, but I’ll extend it- what about those who are adolescents and have just gotten a bra or don’t have the resources to purchase one. What does the post-digital life look like for those who don’t have the luxury of the choice to have seamless digital and offline lives?
Meredith
July 9th, 2010 at 9:37 am
I’ve never gone offline before… certainly not deliberately. It is a distraction, a blessing, a source of mind-crowding chatter, a lifeline, friendships, strangers, all of those things at the same time.
I’m always thinking I should be online less, but that’s hard because I work online, I write online, my book readers are online, and I do research for writing (professional and fiction) online. It’s so intertwined with my work as well as my play … I wouldn’t know where to start untwining. I don’t have any answers or conclusions. Sometimes it worries me. Sometimes it doesn’t.
I’m always thinking I should drink less beer than my one-a-day (OKAY FINE SOMETIMES TWO). Liquid calories, and expensive. That’s the extent of what I do. I think about it. Then I crack one open and I think some more. Kind of like what I’m doing right now, commenting on your blog.
July 9th, 2010 at 9:53 am
Meredith,
the post-digital absolutely is a place of privilege. or yes, i’m speaking from a place of digital privilege.
i figure adolescents (either in age or relationship to the technology) have every right to be all whee! or omg self-conscious and absorbed with the bra-ness of their bras.
those of us who have been immersed in and integrated with the technology for decades, though, need to find ways of talking about and reflecting that integration that aren’t based on the “ooh it’s shiny!” discourse that still tends to dominate media and public discussions of it. i’m saying it’s up to us who ARE digitally privileged to own that and drive the conversation in directions that consider what that means rather than getting stuck so much in “ooh, is it bad? ooh, is it making us stupid?”
July 9th, 2010 at 11:48 am
While, it’s true we should live in a post digital age, I’m not sure it’s entirely true that we do live there. When I talk about the online me with certain friends and family members, it’s like I am confessing that I masturbate or some such thing, such is their disdain for social media and their willingness to inflict judgment upon its practitioners.
Conversely, sometimes when I am online I want to physically shake The 2.0 Heads, you know, the folks whose heads are so far up their social media asses that all they can ever talk about is social media (even if it is only in jest). “Blah, blah BlogHer, blah, blah leveraging content, blah, blah maximizing influence.” Even when the topics of discussion refer to an “outside” world, they seem set up according the the rhetorical constraints of social media: e.g. breastfeeding and people-on-the-internet-talking-about-breastfeeding seem to be two very different things. And, oh the feelings: people on the Internet are so caught up in their own personal feelings and experiences–which is fine to a degree–in fact, the Internet can push through societal silencing on many issues–BUT so many people never get past “the unbearable lightness of feeling” in order to enact social change for themselves and others.
Furthermore, the middle and privileged classes seem to have found a space that is unthreatened and unsullied by diversity, that is unless they want to talk about diversity according to their own terms.
Now not everyone who blogs/tweets/FBs does this but this kind of behaviour is there as solid as my internet-doubting sister; and it points to what I think is a widening divide between the navel-gazing digital world and the world that could be post digital if it really thought about broader issues and leveraged those issues both on and offline.
Which I guess is what I was getting at in my series of 3 cranky tweets addressed to “People of the Internet” the other day.
July 9th, 2010 at 11:59 am
‘Bout 1986, as the Mac vs PC and Wordstar vs WordPerfect religious wars raged, I asked my then six year old daughter which she preferred. I forget the exact words and sequence of her reply, but, in summary it was Mum’s Mac for drawing, Dad’s PC for Arithmetic homework, the toaster for breakfast, the vacuum cleaner for …
Well, you get the idea. Commodidication before the phenomenon had been labelled. It was all task-specific. Simply pick the best or favourite tool for the purpose.
In fact, among good engineers, the aphorism says if you are distracted by the tool during the task, the design is poor or unfinished.
Personally, I find that goes too far when taken absolutely; I can thrill at silky reel action when casting, or effortlessly braving bad roads thanks to Subaru’s unique assymetrical AWD, or KitchenAid’s stand mixer kneading my dough while I stare at it and marvel.
Thirty years up to my ears in IT and there has been no richer domain or vantage point from which to experience Earth’s coincident period. Yet Bon has it right; it’s at its best when I’m not noticimg its letting me love someone.
July 9th, 2010 at 6:13 pm
I like the idea of mature digital living as including both quick connection to others and a respect for personal time. Once I thought emails were quick shots into space–type-as-you-go, send-and-disappear, anti-letter writing stuff. But it seems to have matured into Written Communication. Email senders attempt to edit ( ;P ) and follow an email grammar and know who to type casually to and who to be formal with.
So I like to think that the rest of the stuff we do out here will follow suit. Grammars and etiquette will standardize to the point that middle-aged folk will find digital communication something they can understand. Then we will get hit with a new technology and learn that.
(By they way: what on earth is the purpose of an ipad?)
July 9th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
LOVE this post and the beautiful photos of your kiddos.
I always thought I had my cord attached to the internet.. but apparently I can get off and be very ok, and the internet did not missed me either. sometimes I think I am online WAY too much and really want to experiment being offline much less. but it also allows me a certain anonymity and some degree of connecting,so I really don’t know…
July 10th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
As far as I know I am the only one of my real world friends who blogs ( intermittently) not as work, tweets and engages in social media. I agree with Mad Hatter that this whole thing is not as universal at least not in the UK as the media might think.
I do go offline. I miss it although I doubt it misses me much. It fills a space the real world doesn’t though so i couldnt leave it for ever. One thing I do know is that for the important things – love letters, condolences, big life events – a proper handwritten letter means more than anything cyber to me.
July 11th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Was just thinking: if we get a public inquiry into the G20, then I might start to believe we live in a post-digital age. If, however, we continue to lose access to public information at an alarming rate despite this so-called democratizing of information, then I will continue to be a skeptic.
July 11th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Huh. I just noticed that I default to Mad Hatter on one computer, whereas I am just plain Mad on the other. Ha!
July 11th, 2010 at 8:30 pm
I used to freak out when I would go on vacation. What do I do with my blog?! What if people come by and nothing is new?!?! HOLY CRAP!!!
Now? I don’t care. My blog is a reflection of life, not life being a reflection of my blog. I write when I want to. I don’t, when i don’t. I find unplugging easier every day
July 11th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
food for thought here, o interesting friends. i was going to say i don’t think most people in a culture need to be in a post-digital place for the culture itself to be post-digital, but i need to think on that a little more now.
does it work as a parallel of modernism? most English-speaking people in the early 1920s were probably still very Edwardian/Victorian in their habits, but that didn’t stop the change from being inexorable.
July 12th, 2010 at 1:01 am
One of the things I love about the Internet is serendipity. Don’t ask me how I got to your blog post but need less to say, it is discussing exactly what I have been thinking about today: http://williecampbell.blogspot.com/2010/06/already-winter-and-midyear.html
I am facilitating an online course called “Facilitating Online”: http://wikieducator.org/Facilitating_Online
During the course I’ll spend a lot of time talking about how we should spend more time online…do more networking…be more accessible but I suddenly started thinking about the whole online/offline discussion here and realised that we do not discuss this in the course schedule. Now I am having a bit of a confidence crises. What about the people who do not want to spend time ‘online’? Is online facilitation really all it is cracked up to be? What are we losing by paying so much attention to online communication?
Ummm…maybe it’s time for my holiday :)
July 12th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
That “training bra/snap our straps” line was great!
July 12th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
I agree. Completely agree. On two counts. 1. Digital is not ‘us’ it’s just a medium through which we communicate. Not the only medium, not the most important, just a new method (and one that will not necessarily replace all the old ways at some stage).
2. That being said, this new way of communicating is so pervasive and constant that it is necessary to limit yourself and remember who / what you really want to communicate with (does it have to be the whole world??).
I don’t ever go offline completely (that would involve being somewhere with no wireless, which would mean a holiday somewhere, which hasn’t happened for too long!). I just use the communication when I want to communicate. I don’t tweet every thought I have. I rarely catch up on Facebook. If I have time to catch up with someone I use whichever medium is going to most effectively communicate my message in the time I have available. In short, the digital age gives us options, but we don’t always have to choose the most technologically advanced option, and if we did we would not communicate effectively.
July 12th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Mad, I’m curious: can you expand on this? “So many people never get past “the unbearable lightness of feeling” in order to enact social change for themselves and others…”
July 13th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
A few years ago, I spent a month in a village without electricity. I thought I would miss the internet, but I really didn’t, at least not as much as I thought I would. I came to appreciate the slower pace of life. However I did not enjoy the heat and constant sandstorms. I missed electricity and running water.
July 14th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I love the Internet, email, FB, blogging…the whole bit. I like it to fill my empty time. I check in while I’m in line or while the kids are coloring their menus at a restaurant or when we’re playing Wii and my character dies an untimely death. If we are without it for a day or a weekend, though, I survive with only the slightest of shakes. ;) I don’t know that I ever totally unplug, but I don’t think that it keeps me from living in and enjoying Real Life either.
July 15th, 2010 at 12:17 am
I’m about to embark on three weeks of Ontario cottaging and got quite excited about the prospect of “unplugging”. Then my mother emailed me to tell me that the cottage had a high chair and wireless. Oh no! I do feel constantly conflicted rather than fluid about my techno-digi-interactions, which come in manic spurts. And I am worried about my kid downloading iphone (if such a thing exisits in two years) apps as a toddler….
I remain conflicted yet addicted.
great post!
July 15th, 2010 at 8:21 am
Kate, I think what Mad meant by that (and please correct me if I’m wrong, Mad) is that there is a largish segment of the online population that navel-gazes to the point of absurdity, just for the sake of blog-fodder. Endless self-analysis, endless dissection, but no resolution or evolution of the individual is ever recorded.
**
As for me, I’m late to the discussion because I was offline since last week. I unplug a lot more than I used to. When I am unplugged I make a point of listening to CBC radio just so I don’t miss anything important… and then when I log back on and see the fifty million stories about Lohan crying in the courtroom I think “yeah, this is why I turn the computer off sometimes”.
It’s an easy trap to fall into, blogging and tweeting about your life until it becomes your life. I’d much rather be out there living it, myself.
July 27th, 2010 at 5:17 am
We have a barn-like house in the country that has the things you need, but no extras. Internet feels extra there, since we only go for a month in the summer and a week again in October, February, and April, when there are school holidays. We have an arrangement with our neighbors (I have just written about this, in fact) to sit on the bench outside their kitchen and jump on their wi-fi. Once a day is enough, just to be sure no clients or friends are in a panic. I find myself deleting all those things I subscribe to and wondering why do I even subscribe to them. But the digital world feels far away and instead I feel my feet on the ground and the sun on my face and I relax. It’s like a burden is lifted. One of my colleagues desperately wants us to get internet access at the country house and I understand why: when we have a big project my inability to be responsive is a pain in the ass. But I wonder. If I installed a hook-up, would the house cease to be the escape I relish? Isn’t it good to unplug every once in a while?