Sun 7 Nov 2010
witness
Posted by bon under social media meta stuff, writing stuff
[42] Comments
one word.
i think a lot about branding. not in the skeevy marketing sense where i wonder if you’d buy more chicken nuggets if just the right charming cartoon chicken came along to sing the praises of eating her, piece by tiny form-pressed piece. for me, branding is just walking around with clothes on, the bits of yourself you project and trail around behind you. it’s what people think of when they think of you. it’s a conversation you contribute to but don’t control. but i believe it’s a conversation you should BE in.
hence this post. at BlissdomCanada, the closing keynote asked us all, what one word describes you? what’s your presence in the world?
i’m up to my ears in the theory and practice of personal branding and digital identities every day, these days. i’m doing a Ph.D in this stuff. and yet. and yet.
i still couldn’t do it. i couldn’t tell you in a single word what it is i am and am trying to do out here.
i hate definitions. i rail against pinning myself like a science fair butterfly when i am, of course, a unique snowflake, ever-evolving (TM). i thought about it, saw tweets and posts with the #oneword tag and wondered if i had a word and then slapped myself and stuck my head back down into the hell that is my quantitative statistics paper.
unruly thing kept poking up. because i’m writing – or trying to write, starting to write – about the idea of digital identities, and the ways in which being online changes how we interact with the world and see ourselves. this is the story i want to tell. my own. yours.
it occurred to me that knowing my own damn word might be important. might even be aspirational, in a sense. because hell, i’m doing something every time i post, or tweet, or hold a SeaMonkey funeral, or cut off that lady at the supermarket. maybe if i found a word i could live with, it could serve as a little talisman; a stone to keep in my metaphorical pocket. a sightline to where i’m trying to go, as a mother, a grownup, a thinker, a human being.
tonight i figured it out.
my one word is witness.
i’m not going to show up at your door to tell you about Jesus. and i hope not to be spirited away in a possibly fictional protection program for people who see what they shouldn’t.
but what i’m here for is the not looking away. giving voice. nodding to the margins and the complexities and the silliness and the sorrow and the big ideas and the hope that someday, somewhere, it will all matter. trying to figure it all out, especially the stuff our culture likes to sweep under the carpet. dead babies and unwieldy educational theory both, plus the tantrums that occur in between.
this is my life, and my digital identity. this is my branded self.
i’d like to do a better job of it all, really. this is my reminder to myself to keep trying.
***
do you have a talisman in your pocket? a one word, or two, or seven, that you hold onto to try to make sense of what you’re doing online, or off?




November 8th, 2010 at 12:04 am
LOVE. LOVE. PERFECT.
November 8th, 2010 at 12:13 am
Witness. Great word. Powerful. I am still struggling to find my one word. I’m leaning towards ‘dreamer’, or ‘worrier’. I have all these ideas, I want so much to change in my life, I think, I dream… I imagine. At the time, I worry non-stop about everything and I have issues with guilt. Gah. Anyway. Great post. And again, lovely meeting you at BlissDom. xo
November 8th, 2010 at 1:28 am
I like the way you define branding. I’m resistant to labels, in general, and my blogging identity is something still quite personal so I’ve resisted the marketing aspect of branding as well.
But I’ve started to realize lately that resisting the labels or the “branding” as you define it might be hurting me. I’m not unique in losing a little of myself since becoming a mother and having to reinvent not only my career but who I am as a person.
So this comes at a good time for me. Thank you for possibly giving me the kick in the butt I need. And sure wish I could’ve gone to Blissdom.
November 8th, 2010 at 3:02 am
Never really thought about it, but I have been described many times as intense.
November 8th, 2010 at 3:20 am
I’ll need to think about this one. Although I love your one word and think it is so apt I would steal it, if that weren’t very Bridget Fonda of me. ;)
November 8th, 2010 at 7:58 am
The big question is whether or not your brand works in the outside world. Joe’s Cola might think it is the best soda in the world, but just be deluding himself. I really like that you see yourself as a “witness,” although I wouldn’t pick that word for you at all. I might say “observant,” or “poetic,” “brainy,” or “sensual.” So I am unclear how much personal branding works when you don’t really have the ultimate control over how you are perceived. Devil’s advocate — you know how I hate this branding stuff.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:12 am
I agree with Neil. I’m so unclear. I could choose a word for myself, but depending on who you talk to, they could all have different words for me. And since it’s how they precieve me, their words are more likely to be true. If I could get all the people who know me in one room and find the common word among them, then that would be my word. Like it or not.
Having one word makes me feel one dimentional.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:18 am
Neil, i’m totally cool with observant, poetic, brainy, and sensual. they’re all things that in truth i WANT to be perceived as. but – especially with the last three – if i focus on making any of them my own personal schtick, i’d lose a lot of the rest of what i am. plus TRYING to brand yourself as sensual? eek. it’s a quick trip to the “who the fuck do you think you are?” bin, or to a very sad life.
witness, though? witness i can choose, every day, every time i sit down to write something or i interact with another person. it’s about my motivation and message. hopefully, i can witness to what i think needs to be said in a way that makes you think “hey! she’s brainy and sensual and so damn poetic!”
ahem. but i can’t control what you think. i can only control what i’m about. and having that sightline in place, especially as my life and my writing expand to include more cultural analysis and educational theory, less overt focus on grief and cute kids, will help. i hope.
witness, for me, is the common thread running through it all: i am a witness to the human condition, from this specific place i happen to have been dropped on the planet. if i can be true to the telling of that, i’ll be happy.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:21 am
and Misty, you’re not wrong. i don’t think anyone who knows me would necessarily pick this word for me. but this is my space, the one where i’m trying to speak the parts of my own identity that otherwise might get missed by what other people see or think.
hence, it’s important to me. it’s more about what I’M doing. it’s my way of saying, here’s what’s going on behind the curtain.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:43 am
Perfectly apt. I was smitten with this concept from the moment I read it in Eat, Pray, Love. (Elizabeth Gilbert didn’t come up with it either — who knows what the provenance is?) I know my word, and I love to hear others’.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:51 am
“Witness to the human condition?!” I think that speaking gig at Blissdom has gotten to your head! I think you’re going down the wrong track. Who wants to read some reader who believes that they are some aloof witness to the world around her? People are coming here because of YOU. So, are you basically changing the format of your blog? No more photos of your kids? Memories from childhood? Thoughts in an airplane?
OK — I re-read the post and your comment, and I changed my mind. I understand what you said. But I kept my rant up anyway.
Witness away.
And you realize my passion over this subject has nothing to do with you, but my own fear of having to brand myself.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Hopeful. But that’s new for me and might require starting over in the digital space. But I am, if nothing else, the eternal optimist.
November 8th, 2010 at 9:00 am
ah, Neil, it’s alright. i’ve been telling you what your brand is for six months now. but i won’t ever get it right until you decide. and you don’t have to. it’s just that you’re doing it anyway, without the sightline in place.
i started the blog to be, very precisely, a witness to the human condition. b/c i was about to become a mother to a living child (i hoped), and i needed a place to acknowledge that i was already a mother. the human condition is a mess of sorrow and conflicting emotions and love and stupidity, IMO. much of it mine. so nah, no need to change the way i write.
November 8th, 2010 at 9:03 am
Thor, the fact that you just called yourself the eternal optimist is the reason i think this kind of branding matters. because that’s not necessarily what i’d have tagged you.
and yet i see it, i nod and understand, and it brings a lot of what and how you see the world into focus for me. i think your naming of the sightline matters. i also beam at your hope.
November 8th, 2010 at 9:08 am
I’m a lot of things, like everyone, but when I read the question, what one word? ‘innovator’ came faster to the fore than any others. (I like answering questions, especially about myself)
November 8th, 2010 at 10:40 am
Before I got to the paragraph where you mentioned picking your word, I thought you unconsciously wrote it out anyway: unique!
My knee-jerk reaction about “witness” was that it seems like such a passive word, and you are anything but. However, anyone in law enforcement would tell you that the BEST witness is an active, observant one able to recall and report on details that others would have missed. And in this respect, it fits you PERFECTLY.
As a person with a business background, I think I’ve had a different perspective on the word “branding.” But as you continue to share your take on it, I think it more closely matches my definition of “reputation” and those two concepts truly are kissing cousins, if not siblings.
My word? Many would say, “enthusiastic” or “energetic.” So when depression stole that away earlier this year, it was truly terrifying – like a total loss of self. But those are their words, not mine. Right now, I have no clue what “my word” would be. I think I’ve been searching for a new – or maybe a revised – definition of self for almost a year now. “Patient” is definitely NOT my word…
November 8th, 2010 at 11:32 am
i believe WITNESS is a truly beautiful choice and perfect word for you. if you’re my witness, i feel even better knowing i’m naked.
xox
November 8th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Ok, after reading all the comments and replies I think I’m starting to get it. I still don’t have a word for myself that doesn’t result in me rolling my eyes at myself though.
Glad you aren’t changing your writing. It is all from witnessing.
November 8th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
i like witness.
and i dunno. for myself, maybe
archeologist.
November 8th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
maybe perceiver. who knows.
November 8th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
I don’t like labels, but I do like this. I like “witness”.
Although my word is probably sensitive, emotional, crazy…oops, maybe not totally crazy. Semi-crazy?
On a totally non-crazy note, I have to say that I’m a little jealous of your quantitative statistics class. I lurved those classes.
November 8th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
My talisman, given to me by my mother at 4 years old was “stop, think, be calm.” I don’t think she really grasped (or perhaps she did) how vital those 4 words would be through my whole life.
I wish I’d thought of them when I cut off the lady at the grocery store yesterday. ;)
November 8th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
Hey Bon,
My oldest daughter thought about her word. She chose elegance for many reasons. She got it tattooed on her wrist.
I understand the butterfly and snowflake thoughts. Thanks for sharing those. That feeling (in me) is probably why I couldn’t decide on a “bucket list” either.
November 8th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
One word, huh? It’s an interesting question; I’ll think on it.
November 8th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
wups – the comment under your previous post was supposed to go here. sorry.
November 8th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Nodding to Heraclitus and “Nature likes to hide.”: HIDDEN.
November 9th, 2010 at 2:09 am
I like witness as well. I have realized recently that many of my issues take the form of a desire to avoid being witnessed. I like to think of myself as invisible (that way you can’t see all of my mistakes) yet I get frustrated when people don’t see the REAL me. i would like my word to be ‘trudging’ as in keeping at it by putting one foot in front of the other.
November 9th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Dawn, i don’t have a bucket list either. in part b/c i did most of those things that usually go on a bucket list back around my 30th birthday, before bucket lists became rigeur and when i was terrified of ending up living Marianne Faithfull’s “The Ballad of Lucy Jordan.”
stop, think, be calm. my god. i’m going to ask my mom why she didn’t give me THAT talisman. or maybe i’ll just try to learn it well enough to give it to my kids, and back to her.
and nope, Misty. no intended change. it’s just me finally finding words for what i’ve been struggling towards here all along.
November 9th, 2010 at 10:02 am
I like that for you, witness. It breathes a piercing sort of watching tone to me, both the unmentionables, the unspoken and the comfortable sweetness of your other observances.
(and thank you for commenting the other day! you made me grin like an idiot, and seriously confused my husband, as I babbled about it to him. )
November 9th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Great post, as usual. I too hate labels, though as I get older seem to be more okay with them (as long as you can have a lot of them)…so one word makes it tough. Though I don’t really know you, witness sounds perfect for you. Though this may be a cliche, my talisman has been authentic. It seemed like you were saying that we create this “brand” of ourselves, especially online, that may not be very real, much like that mechanically separated chicken “product” in those nuggets. And I say what the hell is the point of that? Why not be an amplified version of your real self online? No, it’s not easy. And yes, we’re all still figuring it out. But I’m with you, I want to do a better job and I want to keep trying. Thanks for reminding me too.
November 9th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
When I’m most harried (if I remember) the thought flashes briefly across my my mind: steadiness and ease.
It’s what I’d most like for my life.
November 9th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Quiet. — That’s kind of funny, isn’t it, a blogger who brands herself as “quiet”? Generally speaking I hope a visit to my blog would be like a glance out the window, a glance at the outdoors, which might inspire one to go out there for a moment.
“Witness” is more passive a word than I’d have chosen for you, but I think I understand what you mean. Shining a light into dark places, right?
November 10th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
It sounds like you found your word.
I have a word for my blog, a word for what I try to do there. My word is “moments”. That is what I try to capture. The every day, the special, the big. the little. All the moments.
I wouldn’t use that word to discribe myself offline. I am still searching for that word.
November 12th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
I think witness fits you perfectly. What you write about on your blog is EXACTLY that. As I read the post and tied it to your post title my only thought was EXACTLY! I haven’t read all of the other comments yet, but I had to respond after the first couple of comments How you witness is sensual, poetic, brainy, et al but what you do in those styles is stand witness and say “I saw that. I see you. I testify, (in the court of the world) that we exist.”
My word, or the point of my existing on the internet has got to be “Pal.”
Do you remember at the end of young guns? Scratched on the tombstone of Billy the Kid? Pal. I’m there. I’ve got you. You’ve got me. Laugh. Smile. Cry. Shoulder. That’s what I come here for, to get and to give. Everything else that happens to happen just grows out of it for me. : )
November 14th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I like “witness.” I think it conveys a lot of what your blog is.
I can’t imagine squeezing myself into one word, but then you did it.I feel this would take more energy than I’m willing to put into it on a grey Sunday afternoon. Maybe because I’m in transition, still, again? Transition might be my word, but it is, by definition, transitory. I think my word might be thoughtful or observant. I don’t know that others would describe me that way though.
November 15th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
GREAT WORD. occasionally my mind will wander towards branding and what it all consists of. in all honesty, i fear it. but this post helped me to start thinking of it in a not so scary sense.
i don’t want to be put in a box.
beautiful word.
November 17th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Just wanted to say that I love your word – it fits this space, and can grow with you.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:31 am
It’s an interesting topic of discussion:
“the idea of digital identities, and the ways in which being online changes how we interact with the world and see ourselves”.
Check out Bob Dobbs and what he has to say about digital identity (though he doesn’t call it that) and living under electric conditions. This subject should be part of our curriculum.
November 20th, 2010 at 10:21 am
I still think you’re observant, poetic and brainy. This comment thread proves that.
Maureen Duffy Cobb. (my word: Present)
November 21st, 2010 at 10:02 pm
sometimes I think ‘armchair sociologist’ but that’s two words
reading this, I thought ‘observer’
I do like ‘witness’ though, as it pays tribute to the importance of bearing witness to and walking with the babylost mamas.
November 21st, 2010 at 11:58 pm
I want to not be irritated by the thought of defining our complex selves in a single word or branding ourselves. But wait … maybe that’s my word: “complex” or, hmmm… maybe “multilayered” or perhaps “confused” or “random” or “lost”… oh wait, that’s more than one. Oh well. Clearly, I have more work to do.
November 26th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
I believe we must be kindred spirits….your post was inspiring and made me remember those memories are worth remembering. College student? Know that song and dance well….thanks for your blog ;-)