Mon 4 Apr 2011
the sidewalk always goes somewhere
Posted by bon under stuff to be done, the home project
[21] Comments
in the spring light i want to promise that we will pack ourselves up every evening and step out the door.
i want to promise that we will watch the tulips come up and the grass return to the park down the street and i will remember what it feels like to swing my arms as i skip down the sidewalk trying to miss the cracks.
i want to promise. i want to turn my face up to the promise as if it were the bright sun, strong enough to hold my trust.
there are a hundred reasons i shouldn’t, i know. there are taxes, and insurance, and cheques to write and playground mud to wash away and a dishwasher to unload. and papers and posts and plans, all waiting, barely tethered. they sit on me like stones. there are worry dolls crafted of anxieties and inadequacies and the collective foibles that shape the silhouette of this small family: the deeper burdens of our particular humanness. one child hates the transition of leaving the house. the other has no fear…a categorical danger anytime she’s not strapped down. their father cannot seem to learn to keep track of his wallet, his keys. i cannot seem to learn how to keep track of both my hands at once: when i clear the table of butter knives, i am a threat to all around me. we seem a motley crew, better suited to piratehood or a monastic life or an episode of Hoarders than this daily grind of rushing from the house to the car seats, bags all packed. to do it again in the evening? madness, i whisper at myself, and curl in again on my couch. the sun hurts your eyes, i console the whisperer.
but in the fading light of after-supper, when we are four together, just moving, i forget all that. i forget that the Emperor has no clothes, that the grownups aren’t coming, that we are it and probably insufficient to the job of these small, fine, vulnerable souls. i forget. for a minute we just are and the one who hated leaving the house begins to hop and skip and i feel the muscle memory in my bones and i twitch and know we will make it to spring, again, one more time.
and so i promise. even if i lie, i promise.





April 4th, 2011 at 9:52 am
Oh, this. Yes. The same internal discussion happens here, every night. I’m trying too.
April 4th, 2011 at 9:58 am
Len takes M out every single night even in the dark depths of winter. From Hallowe’en through to April, I refuse to go along. I hoard that time jealously b/c it’s usually the only 30-45 minutes in a day that’s mine alone. Come spring, I sluggishly race to keep up with them, wishing I hadn’t piled my plate with the second helpings that slow me down. Lately, I’ve come to life. Those other two, though; they’ve been alive all along.
April 4th, 2011 at 10:28 am
I love what you wrote Bon. I love what you wrote too Sue.
April 4th, 2011 at 10:31 am
Beautiful. And I think you just inspired me to get offline and take a walk.
April 4th, 2011 at 10:36 am
Lovely. Just lovely.
April 4th, 2011 at 10:38 am
It’s like a new year’s resolution for spring!
I WILL BE ENOUGH.
Meet you there?! xox Mo
April 4th, 2011 at 10:46 am
Ah, Bon. Your writing gets me every time. Piratehood? Ha! The grown ups are not coming? You rock.
April 4th, 2011 at 10:56 am
Wonderful. I just love the way you write.
Now that the clocks have changed and the evenings are lighter, our little crew of 4 always try to get down to the beach in the evening. It’s usually pretty deserted, and we watch the murmuration of the starlings over the skeleton of the ruined but still beautiful pier. That’s the time of day I like best. The dishwasher can wait.
April 4th, 2011 at 11:17 am
A motley pirate family, how I love the image that brought to my mind. You wielding double swords/butter knives and all. I always promise to make it up the hill with the boys more often and then I realize it has been a month. Thanks for the prompt. :)
April 4th, 2011 at 11:27 am
Hmmm. My friend Kelly used to have a tacky magnet that said something like “The world will not end if the dishes go undone, but it might if playtime goes unplayed. I frequently have to hammer this into my own brain.
April 4th, 2011 at 11:44 am
I too frequently have to fight with my own inertia.
Home on maternity leave now; 3.5 week baby and temperatures climbing….going for a walk with stroller and dog (and baby) seems like it requires the logistical plotting of an armed insurrection.
But it doesn’t – does it? ;)
April 4th, 2011 at 1:00 pm
That burden, of the things, and the winter, all of it, I hear it, I feel it. But there’s something about the sun that helps wipe it clear and just make it make sense, somehow.
April 4th, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I love this. During the school year I walk the dog during the day, when the kids are at school, but on school breaks I take him out after dinner. It always feels so footloose and “summery”.
Does this comment make sense? I’m on some major painkillers here. Anyway, I like this post.
April 4th, 2011 at 4:39 pm
…sometimes you put something out there and you can’t quite believe you pressed post b/c it was the equivalent of standing on the step in your underpants with your quivery soft winter legs all exposed.
and then everybody else steps out on their doorsteps too, fish-skinned and furred in all their all-too-human glory, and you feel less lonely.
thank you.
April 4th, 2011 at 5:28 pm
So beautiful. I promise too.
April 5th, 2011 at 8:39 am
Wow. So glad I added your blog to my RSS. Looking forward to reading more if it is all like this.
April 5th, 2011 at 12:25 pm
…the promising is an important act. just curious…how do you end up following through?
i went to a 6pm exercise class last night…a first for me. but i desperately need it. tonight i am IN class (my last formal Ph.D class of the year!) until nearly the kids’ bedtime. after that the excuses drop off, though.
what works in your family?
April 5th, 2011 at 5:52 pm
This made me smile and smile.
April 6th, 2011 at 3:52 pm
I feel kind of bad that last night, when the child asked to go for a walk before dinner, I said no. Tonight. We will go tonight.
April 6th, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Also? “worry dolls crafted of anxieties” was a beautiful turn of phrase.
April 10th, 2011 at 8:40 pm
You know one of the million things I love about you? You are magic.