Fri 30 Dec 2011
wash teeth if any: or welcome, End Times
Posted by bon under issue stuff, milestone stuff
[24] Comments
so 2011, you’ve been a good year.
a very good year, really.
if i were a Sinatra, ripe with mellifluous tones and suave Rat Pack suits, this would be the “very good year” of song and story. screw seventeen. high school graduation and cheap alcool are only so much to croon about; thirty-nine was actually interesting.
(i’m no Sinatra, of course. 2011 was kind of extraordinary, by my standards, but learning how to sing isn’t on my list of achievements for the year. maybe later.)
still, a lot of what i might have hoped for if i’d actually had my act together enough to articulate specific hopes for the year IS on that list. i’m kinda blinky-eyed in the face of this unaccustomed reversal of fortune.
generally, my standards for a good year are pretty simple: have i been fed and clothed and sheltered? have i learned? have i had my family and/or friends around me?
Boney M is one of my Christmas playlist standards: has been since childhood. one year, in college, my poor roommate misheard the lyrics to Feliz Navidad . the rest of us caught her at the residence floor Christmas party bopping around in reindeer antlers singing – at the top of her lungs – “at least no one died.”
yeh, that. i wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, indeed. at least no one died.
clearly, that roommate wasn’t a whole lotta help with Spanish homework. but when the rest of us recovered from spitting up our eggnog, we adopted the line. it’s been with me ever since, lo these twenty-odd holiday seasons, as i’ve looked back on the old years trailing out behind. a good year? any year i could answer “at least no one died,” i figured i had it okay.
this year, i lost one of my tall trees in my grandfather’s passing. the song stuck in my throat the first time i lifted my voice; i caught myself. then i thought, no. he was 91. i am nearly 40. i had the strange, stark privilege of being with him as he went. and hell, he thought the song was funny as hell. so i sang it loud and with joy this last month, my eyes just a little bit crinkled and wet.
it was a damn good year, like none i’ve ever really known. shit worked this year: all the long seasons of quiet hoping and trying suddenly seemed to reap positive reinforcement all at once. federal funding for my research, Voice of the Year at BlogHer, a local literary award, published in Salon. i even cracked the Babble list. i went to cool conferences and started a new blog and discovered that i can be a social media researcher and a writer and a professional educator, maybe all in one. maybe.
or at least i can try. i can see my way clear to try.
because there was still a lot of shit in 2011 that didn’t work: submissions rejected, inquiries ignored. hopes dashed. but for the first time in my life, those did not shame me, or scare me off. i just picked up the hopes, looked around for lessons, and kept going. it felt…good. real. par for the course.
the kids are healthy: cleared of asthma and the serious kind of heart murmur, respectively. we haven’t been to the ER with them once all year. they like their teachers. they mostly like each other.
and we do too, their father and i, even ten years and a half-finished documentation project into things. he still makes me feel less lonely, just by being in the world.
and we just bought the house my grandmother lived in when she married. her Art Deco wedding china is going home, people. and so am i.
2011, i’m dazzled and grateful and a little wary, because clearly the other shoe is about to drop and chances are good it’s made of cement.
everybody else seems happy to kick you to the curb, 2011. me, i think you’re the purdiest thing i can remember.
and yet all this positivity scares the shit outta me.
i’m a late bloomer in terms of this whole concept of “things going well.” yeh, i’ve had luck in the course of my days on this earth, but my particular talents and circumstances have never especially organized themselves into a coherent pattern that looks like what our culture likes to think of as an upswing, before.
my career arc has been…diverse. my choices haven’t emphasized stability or growth. and the blessings and joys of my parenthood have been punctuated by all that slipped through my fingers.
so this whole “things are going my way” rag? is highly unfamiliar.
it stands to reason, then, that – just as things really begin to look as if i’m gathering steam in my fortieth year, hitting my stride – that the world will end.
2012 is End Times, apparently. so sayeth the ancient Mayans. and their Wikipedia entry. goody.
and i figure i kinda win either way. maybe my luck holds and the coming year is happy and glorious and fulfilling and full of opportunity. in which case my unfamiliar streak of success becomes a little more familiar, and i slowly train myself to stop expecting an abyss to open up at any moment.
or, you know, an abyss opens up. and then i have the surprisingly satisfying comfort of being right, which is almost as nice as achieving cool things you set your mind to. maybe not quite. and annihilation would kinda take all the fun out of “at least no one died,” probably forever.
so i’ll keep working on positive thinking. and perhaps…as i look ahead to 2012, i need to very literally take a page from the late great Woody Guthrie, who had some lean years and some lucky ones himself. his New Year’s Resolutions for 1942 were posted today on Boing Boing.
i’m thinking #3 – Wash Teeth If Any – is the attitude i need to bring with me into the new year, whatever it may bring.
don’t let yer head get big, there, Bonnie lass. just brush. don’t fret about tomorrow, neither, and the possible impending end of The Long Count according to Mesoamerica. just brush what you got. don’t even count them chickens or assume there’ll be teeth tomorrow: live for today.
Wash Teeth If Any.
Love Everybody.
Wake Up and Fight.
thanks 2011, for being so good to me. for giving me the opportunity to experience what it’s like to be where the grass is green for a bit. i’m grateful. i’m hopeful for the coming year.
i’m not gonna forget the abyss is there, always there. i’m just not going to assume i’m falling when i might, maybe be flying.
either way, i’ll have washed teeth, i promise.
***
Happy New Year, my friends. i know 2012 owes some of you some serious makeup kisses after what 2011 wreaked. i hope it puts out. i hope we all find each other a year from now, non-annihilated and with shining smiles, singing “at least no one died.”
24 Responses to “ wash teeth if any: or welcome, End Times ”
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Pingback from my year in review, 2011 « Hodgepodge & Strawberries
December 31st, 2011 at 11:54 am[…] What I think is very important on the last day of the year may seem silly come April. Yesterday Bon posted Woody Guthrie’s resolutions for 1942 and I am going to print that sucker out and stick it to my fridge. My personal favourite items are […]
December 30th, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Wake up and fight.
yes. this.
December 30th, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Congratulations, Bon, on a wonderful year.
I 2012 kisses up to us too. Exactly all that you said here. Side note: I turn forty in 2012 too and surprisingly, I feel really good about where I am. In the immortal words of my grandmother, it’s coming whether we want it or not so we might as well want it.
December 30th, 2011 at 10:08 pm
I like “don’t get lonesome / stay glad”. Hard to do but so worthwhile.
You *did* have a good year – it was fun just to be in your orbit while all the fantastic and wonderful things happened for you and your family. Here’s to 2012 (whether it ends next NYE or not, right?)
December 30th, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Glad it was such a great year for you – and here’s to a fabulous 2012! (Hopefully not end of days…)
December 31st, 2011 at 7:35 am
I love “Keep Rancho Clean” and “Make up your Mind”. Though Wash Your Teeth is perfect and same with don’t get lonesome/stay glad. I might print that list out for my wall.
This post was so beautiful, dripping with gratitude and humility. Thank you for sharing your year, perspective, humor and smarts here and elsewhere. You are a gift to us who read you. xo
December 31st, 2011 at 8:59 am
Wonderful post. And I’m so happy for you that you’ve had such a great year.
2012 owes me all the kisses it has. You can read about my shitty 2011 on ze blog. xo
December 31st, 2011 at 11:23 am
Now THAT’S a list of resolutions I can stand by.
December 31st, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Yup. I’m down with the Wake Up and Fight part. 2011 was more of a battening down and trying to repair year. This year better kick my ass, or I it.
So glad to see your good year, all written down. :)
December 31st, 2011 at 2:21 pm
i am eating leftover Christmas chocolates and reading comments and posts and giving thanks for all of you…wishing you all (and the rest of our intersecting circles, some of whom have had a hard, hard 2011) joy and peace in the year to come.
also Hannah, wishing you a baby. and soon. like, tonight? tomorrow? can’t wait to hear. :)
is it time to crack the wine yet?
December 31st, 2011 at 2:22 pm
it occurs to me that after all these chocolates it may be a very good time to go and practice “washing my teeth” while i gots ’em. gladly.
December 31st, 2011 at 9:57 pm
That would surely be nice, if no one died in 2012. The new bar, however low it may be, has been set.
Joy is no longer measured in the trivial matters of day to day exuberance or gifts, but in the beating hearts of two.
Peace to you Bon.
Josh
January 1st, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Happy new year, may it be purdy like the last one! Ha – wash teeth! Just watched show on George Washington’s lack of teeth, how he only had one by the time he became Pres. So, a very appropriate thought – “if any” :)
January 1st, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Happy New Year, Bonnie, Dave, Oscar and Posey!
I can relate to the ‘thinking the other shoe will drop’. While I claim I’m a realist, in reality, I’m probably more of a pessimist. Probably a defense-mechanism of some sort. In any case, 2011 was pretty good for me. Kids are well, partner well, and career more or less on track. I’m learning, albeit gradually, that I need to expect a little less of people–my expectations can be a little, um, high. Would like to live closer to parents/extended family, but one day that may come. Here’s to a healthy and happy 2012 for all.
January 2nd, 2012 at 1:25 pm
happy new year, sweet bon and family.
January 2nd, 2012 at 6:04 pm
i wish you such a wonderful new year. 2011 was quite lovely for us as well, and i don’t mind saying so. good things need to be celebrated… or just recognized.
very much looking forward to hearing more about this house.
be well.
January 2nd, 2012 at 6:12 pm
thanks, all, for the new year’s wishes. keep ’em coming. apparently it was great hubris to say how good 2011 was to us: 2012 has been a petty onslaught mostly from the get-go.
i think i need a do-over. or maybe just a new attitude! i hereby declare tomorrow, January 3rd, the REAL new year. uh, of ME!
or possibly of cold meds and good sleep?
January 2nd, 2012 at 8:21 pm
Here’s wishing you an even better year in 2012. May that shoe never drop. Happy New Year, Bon.
January 3rd, 2012 at 8:14 am
Dream good.
I like that one best.
Happy New Year.
January 4th, 2012 at 3:15 am
And I thank you my dear in 2011 for not just attracting me to the possibility of “all in one. maybe.”
We do really just ‘make up’ our minds don’t we. I love all you are making, indeed.
January 4th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Happy New Year, from a person whose main resolution is to stay sober if I wake…well I appreciate you list and your outlook.
January 6th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
2011 was a dark and difficult year for me and one of the glimmers in that darkness was meeting you Bon, first in your beautiful words here and then this past summer in person. Thank you for sitting outside of the Confed centre and talking well into the night with me, thank you for your spirit and your generosity. I hope that 2012 is just as full of good stuff for you as 2011 was.
January 8th, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Happy New Year Bon. I wish you all the best in 2012. Best to you and yours.
January 12th, 2012 at 9:36 am
Give an individual a fish and you feed them for a day; train that particular person to use the Internet they usually will not trouble you for weeks. ~Author Unknown