Author Archive

Friday, June 15th, 2012

out, out brief candle

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. – MacBeth, Act 5, Scene 5 it doesn’t matter, of course. it is only a website and […]

71 Comments » - Posted in coping stuff,mama-baby stuff,milestone stuff,social media meta stuff,writing stuff by

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

care & feeding of networked humans: a primer

i maintain it was nobody’s fault, but rather an unfortunate accident. i could have prepared, had i known to expect her. she couldn’t prepare, because she didn’t realize the chasm between us. until Tuesday. The Awkward Event: the rapping came at the back door which was odd because it was a weekday and nobody who […]

20 Comments » - Posted in issue stuff,relationship stuff,social media meta stuff by

Monday, April 30th, 2012

what i wanted to write on Facebook

it was 3:20 when we all raced in from the park and scattered. four people, six different directions. the calculus of families. physics probably says it’s impossible but i have always said pshaw! to physics. physics wins, of course, in the end: thirty seconds after scattering the two smaller ones were back, pulling me in […]

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Friday, April 20th, 2012

on the last day you woke up five

you are sleeping and for a minute, mouth open, curled small in your bed, you look again like the curly-headed toddler whom i still expect to see, some mornings before my brain entirely catches up to the present. you are big, long now, leaner, solid. your Buddha belly is only a memory. you have a […]

31 Comments » - Posted in mama-baby stuff,milestone stuff,smitten stuff by

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

April flowers

it is not-quite-spring but the snow is mostly gone, reduced to salt-and-pepper-crusted mounds. we have no cherry blossoms here to herald the end of winter, only crocuses, the modest, cheery crocuses that pop up even before the mud loses its icy cover. when the crocuses come it is spring, for me, and i am a […]

26 Comments » - Posted in mama-baby stuff,milestone stuff,pondering stuff by

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

not waving, but drowning

they were away. they pulled out of the driveway and i waved from inside the house though it occurred to me after they drove away that i could have stood in the driveway, waving until they could not see me anymore. i’d like to be that mother. i’d like them to remember me that way, […]

26 Comments » - Posted in coping stuff,mama-baby stuff,relationship stuff by

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

bodies at rest, or why i keep on keeping on

for almost six years now, i’ve written here. at least a few posts every month. sometimes, in the heady old days, twelve or more. but always a few. i kept going because i was afraid if i stopped, i’d stay stopped. until this month. i’ve been busy, under deadlines, distracted. three weeks went by. bless […]

36 Comments » - Posted in pondering stuff,relationship stuff,social media meta stuff,writing stuff by

Friday, February 24th, 2012

not naked pictures

i turned forty and Dave said, happy birthday, have a new house and i said yes, that will more than do and then we both took a deep breath and jumped off the bridge together. but then he added, i know the house is a big deal, a big financial commitment. but for your birthday…it’s still your birthday. […]

58 Comments » - Posted in milestone stuff by

Monday, February 13th, 2012

the new crib, or hello Cinderella

we are moved. if by “moved” you mean most of our stuff is here and not there except for a few stray things that are frozen to the yard outside at the other house. if by “moved” you mean perched slightly dazed amidst piles of boxes and tools and stuff we keep hoping will put […]

38 Comments » - Posted in stuff to be done,the new crib stuff by

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

all the best things she said

the day after. Susan’s gone. i dreamed about her yesterday morning. we were some kind of Thelma and Louise, secret agents laughing, doing vague, crazy dream-things until little feet woke me at 5:45 am and i rose blurry from the fog and i wondered. and then i waited – edgy and wrong – all day, […]

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