Author Archive
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
in the light
October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the US. i don’t think the day has any official status here in Canada, and this year we’re too busy reeling from a ‘more things change the more they stay the same’ election up in these parts to see much in the news about [...]
3 Comments » - Posted in coping stuff by bon
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
the womanly art of brain-feeding
before Posey was born, i wouldn’t have bet that i’d still be nursing her four weeks in. i would’ve hoped for it, rather like i hope for world peace and a flat stomach and the magical rebound of my ever-more-paltry retirement investments, but i’d given myself The Permission this time around. formula is [...]
55 Comments » - Posted in mama-baby stuff by bon
Sunday, October 5th, 2008
because i wanted to live deliberately
we traipsed into the woods like Hansel and Gretel…except, well, we were the parents. with our mini-me folk in tow. and there was no gingerbread house to be found.
that, and getting lost in the woods in PEI is damn near impossible because if you keep walking you will, indubitably, end up either on [...]
14 Comments » - Posted in pondering stuff, stuff to be done by bon
Friday, October 3rd, 2008
due
today is Posey’s due date. it’s also my mom’s 60th birthday.
in my first pregnancy, with Finn, my due date was a source of excitement and mystery. the 4th of August, proclaimed the calendar - or maybe the 3rd, but the 4th was Dave’s mom’s birthday and so we went with that, thinking how [...]
49 Comments » - Posted in pregnancy stuff, stuff stuff by bon
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008
end of the beginning
the last day of September already.
this month brought her to us, and its close makes me sentimental, wary, resistant…as if the turn of the calendar might make her vanish, too, ephemeral, something only dreamed.
perhaps it is because she is my last baby, and i know this smallness will never be granted me again. perhaps [...]
21 Comments » - Posted in mama-baby stuff by bon
Friday, September 26th, 2008
big brother is watching
i didn’t realize he’d suddenly seem so HUGE.
i didn’t realize how ambivalent i’d feel about that, about his seemingly shocking catapult leap from my baby to this…boy. this boy, this big, solid, willful boy with a sweet streak who’s coping with the arrival of his sibling relatively gracefully, really, but also bringing out the [...]
39 Comments » - Posted in mama-baby stuff, pondering stuff by bon
Monday, September 22nd, 2008
gonna buy you a mockingbird
babybird
she doesn’t need much.
milk, Zantac for her nasty, nasty reflux, diapers, a warm chest to cuddle into. she wears her brother’s preemie-size handmedowns for now, mostly blue…though kind friends and family have ensured she will have more pink than i ever dreamed of to grow into once she gets out of doll-sized [...]
46 Comments » - Posted in smitten stuff, stuff to buy by bon
Saturday, September 20th, 2008
Josephine at ten days old
her cord fell off today
the dry stump a husk, just a thing to shed
its final thread hung sticky, stretched and shining in the morning light
alien, untouchable Other
for a heartbeat i watched it, enthralled
unable to bring myself to pull away that last tangible proof
that we once had a lifeline, she and me
that i was her first [...]
26 Comments » - Posted in milestone stuff by bon
Friday, September 19th, 2008
the new baby blues
…actually, i don’t have ‘em, those blues. what i have is something…unfamiliar.
(ducks, peers about waiting for rotten tomatoes to materialize from the wings. gazes earnestly at audience).
i feel like i’ve had the blues…baby blues…for four years now. or maybe fourteen, if we’re counting the general standard-issue blues…maybe twenty. the low-grade depressive [...]
28 Comments » - Posted in smitten stuff by bon
Monday, September 15th, 2008
got a ticket for my destination
my Posey girl.
you came home yesterday, four days old.
we were greedy, all a-clamour for early release, but by late Friday we had to admit that you had the orangey glow of an aging Beach Boy. you wore it with grace, kiddo, but had to spend 36 hours on the little tanning [...]
