Archive for June, 2008

Saturday, June 28th, 2008

after the first death, there is no other

it is dying, the little tree. it is a clump birch, the smaller of the two that flank the lithe red maple in our backyard.  we planted the three of them on Mother’s Day the year that Finn died, eight days after.  his father dug the holes in the rain, i sprinkled some of his […]

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Friday, June 27th, 2008

and we shall never speak of this again

so, um…yeh.  the hospital in Halifax sent me home. i am free, and grateful, and confused, and a little sheepish.  do you think a cervix can have Munchausen’s syndrome? or a split personality? my doc here sent me because she can only check me manually, and she’s feeling a lot of softening and related shortening […]

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Wednesday, June 25th, 2008


we leave for Halifax first thing tomorrow. the wheel has turned again.  i can feel my cervix leaving the building, softening, losing interest in its task.  so we go for safe-keeping, for measurement and steroids, to be four floors from the best NICU east of Montreal rather than four hours.  if i were a gambling […]

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Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

and the cotton is high

my boy fell asleep tonight like a small, curly-headed rock. he and his father spent what must have been half of this true first weekend of summer running in the yard.   it’s the first time it’s been genuinely warm here…i know the rest of you have been melting, in more southerly climes, but i […]

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Friday, June 20th, 2008


one hundred years ago today, a woman who would be known to posterity as L.M. Montgomery, a spinster in her thirties living in a rural farmhouse belonging to relatives, received a package in the mail.  it was the first edition of her first novel, titled Anne of Green Gables.  it went through five printings by […]

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Wednesday, June 18th, 2008


the Wheel of Fortune is a lucky card in a Tarot deck, so long as it is not reversed.  in some incarnations of the deck, the wheel bears a circling sphinx, representing the riddle of fortune; in others human figures ride the wheel, some rising with the tide of luck, others falling.  my favourite version, […]

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Sunday, June 15th, 2008

not another Hallmark card

Father’s Day has always been my least favourite holiday on the Hallmark calendar.  my father spent my childhood thousands of miles away, a voice on a phone, a series of semi-regular notes and letters in a cursive script round and beautiful.   he was, always, my father.  he was not a dad, though, never a […]

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Friday, June 13th, 2008

my soapbox

no angst today.  we’re all out.  i made 24 weeks today, safely past yesterday’s milestone of having had my water break at 23w6d the first time around, necessitating airlift and uncovering all sorts of previously unanticipated complications… so today i’m just breathing, grateful, good. and in celebration, i’m doing laundry.  because i really AM that […]

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Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

i take it outside

pondering how to actually deal with things going right got me thinking about a random encounter i had in the grocery store a couple of months ago, back when i, um, used to go out. i got told i hadn’t changed a bit, with a big ol’ perky smile thrown on the end of those […]

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Monday, June 9th, 2008

and i’d like to thank my sponsors…

i’m home. made it just before bedtime…met our freshly-bathed, pajama and rubber-boot clad boy coming in the door from his Nannie’s house.  he didn’t even know we’d been gone…just thought he’d been on a dinner date.  we all beamed at each other.  i tucked him in and petted his unruly curls and whispered it’s okay, […]

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